We have an out of school relationship, as in we talk online very often, daily usually.
We talk about things that have nothing to do with school, & are all about our personal lives.
He knows I have feelings for him because I bluntly told him so.
He is being very cryptic with his words to me about his feelings because he's scared to lose his job.
I told him I didnt want him to say anything because I'd never forgive myself if I was the reason why he lost his job, & he agreed.
So we havn't crossed any lines really, just verbal.
I never imagined it would turn into this though
I always thought it was just a cute crush..
& I just thought it was me.
But it turns out it's reciprocal.
He admitted to me that he has feelings for me as well.
& I'm one hundred percent sure I am in love with him.
As a person, he couldn't be more amazing.
He's definatly attractive to me.
& with just the tinist thing he says to me I get all fluttery or nervous(in a good way).
What can I do?!
2007-03-12 22:03:04 · 14 answers · asked by Lor 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am 18 year's of age & he is 28.
There is a 9 years 5 months & 4 days age gap.
I feel so silly for knowing this detail about him & I.
My friends tell me I'm being silly, & my co-worker thinks its cute.
My co-worker told me yesterday, 'girl, you've been sprung..'
I just laughed at him & said uh okay.
I guess that mean's I'm totally in love.
& besides.. what man would spend 4 or more hours online talking to me about his life & mine if he didnt have feelings for me as well.
my co-worker is a 31 year old man, & he agree's with me saying he's got some feelings for me, cause no grown man unless they really care for you would stay online that long with someone.
I don't know what to at all.. but I know I want to prusue a relationship with him after I graduate.
& he says he does too.
So that's a good sign.
It doesn't feel like an older guy(him) going after a younger girl(me),
like the thrill of the chase, for a young pretty girl.
Its like someone I've connected with & fallen for.
2007-03-12 22:15:02 · update #1
First off, you are not in love with him.
Love is, admittedly, a special thing that is very hard to describe. A lot of people, though, will agree that love takes work, and above all else, time. You are infatuated. Please at least recognize that.
Second, you did not say what level of school you are in. High-school or lower gets an instant "NO!". For effect:
NO NO NO NO NOOO!
Teachers who go for students at that level usually care more about the fact that the student is *young* more than they care about their personality. I'm sure there is some study out there about that. Furthermore, if you do pursue a relationship with him, HE WILL GET FIRED. The last thing you want to do is ruin anyone's life and possibly get him labeled as a sex offender.
If, on the other hand, you are in college, it may be a different scenario. Your ages may be closer together, and it may be more plausible to actually date. IF that is the case, wait until you have finished classes with him before continuing with the relationship, and check with his bosses if it's ok. Or if you can, transfer schools if it's not a big deal.
In any case, BE SMART! If you are in highschool (and I really don't like saying this) at least wait to graduate before you give it a shot.
2007-03-12 22:18:19 · answer #1 · answered by undune 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As hard as it might be, you should avoid any non-school-related contact with him. I cant even express what a bad idea this is for both of you, and you have to know it can only end in total disaster for everyone involved. 1. You are too young to really know what love is. A serious crush, infatuation, high-grade lust, etc. are the feelings of teenagers, and it really might feel like love but I can promise you it isn't. You will grow older fall in love and look back on this period and laught at how silly you were. 2. Any grown man who gets intot his situation he has lacks either lacks serious maturity or has a weird thing going on for younger women. NORMAL MEN fall for women in their age bracket (or at least other adults). They don't fall for girls, teens, young ladies or whatever you consider yourself to be. 3. Legally any relationship you have would cause this man to lose his job and even be prosecuted by the law. There is a reason we have statutory rape laws and it is to protect people like you from being taken advantage of by people like him. You are probably thinking I am just some old guy who doesnt remember what it was like to be young and attarcted to someone, but I really do remember what it was like and can understand your feelings and the fact that he probably feels very flattered by the attentions of a younger person. However, I know a man who taught high school who got into a situation like this and he and a student kissed one day. The next week someone found out about it and he lost EVERYTHING (job, teaching license, wife, kids) and she was embarassed and humiliated. Try to transfer to a different class or something!!!!
2007-03-13 05:17:29 · answer #2 · answered by baldisbeautiful 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I fell for my teacher in year 12. we had a relationship out of the classroom that was mainly running into each other, chatting about our new puppies (he got one at the same time as me!) and then chatted online alot when i moved to uni. I told him how i felt and he said it was simply a crush but he liked me. he said nothingcould be done even though i wasnt a student anymore. luckily i didn't have to see him regularly so soon got over it although still have feelings 5 years later when i run into him (not very often).
His job is a huge thing and losing a position at one school can mean he will have trouble finding a position at another school.it isnt about the school, its based on the department of education in your state/country. you are jeapordising his career and i honestly think that you should back off. If its meant to be it will be in a few years time when you have left school (not sure how old you are...) in the meanwhile however, its hard to believe he would tell you he likes you. silly thing to say to a student younger than you who is still only young and its probably only a crush - more his fault if anything does happen to his career for leading you on and telling you any such things on being attracted in return - more fool him..
2007-03-13 05:20:53 · answer #3 · answered by ppl_tell_me_im_insane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old you are, but if you are under the age of 17, this relationship is most likely illegal. It will get the teacher in trouble and you will have to face possible alienation by your friends and schoolmates when they find out (and trust me, they will). I was in relationships with much older guys when I was very young, and looking back it seems gross and wrong. To my now 20-something self, those guys look totally pathetic for wanting to date someone that young, and I feel somewhat exploited. So you should carefully consider why this man might be flirting with you and try to think of why he would be interested in someone so much younger. Young girls often don't see that the older men hitting on them are too immature or socially awkward or downright creepy to date women their own age. It's tough, but if you're honest with yourself you'll avoid a lot of regret later.
2007-03-13 05:14:06 · answer #4 · answered by lovecallsyoubyyourname 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would help to know your age. He seems to be making a mistake not only to be friends and wait till he's no longer your teacher to discuss feelings. I know the university professors sometimes use a female student and then shift their interest when a new semester arrives.
Your new details say "cause no grown man unless they really care for you would stay online that long with someone" WRONG! They will stay online because they feel like it for themselves. Your age makes it seem like a high school teacher. Stay away till after you finish your class and I think you'll see he's no longer interested. Real love should involve more patience than he seems to have.
2007-03-13 05:18:34 · answer #5 · answered by Jonathan H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should not allow yourself to fall in love with your teacher no matter what. You got to realise that you are still young and there are many things you don't know and who knows, after graduation from school, when you start working, you might end up finding your Mr Right. So why rush into a relationship which you cannot handle.Just enjoy your youth and your freedom that you have.
2007-03-13 05:08:55 · answer #6 · answered by Ashley 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How sure are u? Which older guy in his right mind will be seeking an 18 year old gurl? He will be looking for women of his age. He knows you';re so into him and he;s probably trying to use that to his advantage. Pls dont get exploited by him
2007-03-13 05:29:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You left out your age. If you are an underage girl, than shame on your teacher; he needs to find another line of work. You are endangering yourself as well.
Are you an adult college woman? You might endanger his tenure, but at least he won't go to jail. His wife might have some homicidal plans for you though.
2007-03-13 05:12:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't want to be with you, don't waste your life and get with someone else. You might be able to get him jealous too!lols. As an added advantage
2007-03-13 05:08:11 · answer #9 · answered by Cara 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
HOW CAN YOU BE IN LOVE WITH A MAN YOU HAVEN'T EVEN SLEP WITH? YOU TEENAGERS ARE SO FUNNY!!!!! WHEN YOU'RE AN ADULT ALL THAT "i LOVE HIM" STUFF COMES UP AFTER YOU FIND OUT HOW GOOD HE IS IN BED????.....MY THING IS, WHY WOULD YOU BE ATTRACTED TO A MAN WHO LIKES LITTLE GIRLS? GROSS...
2007-03-13 05:10:48 · answer #10 · answered by lata 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋