Wel im 18 and my lover is 29 he wants to marrie me latter on after i have finished studying i have stronge feelings for him but im scared of what my mum would say. This man loves me so much that he would do anything for me. He is verry kind, loving, caring and onderstanding. I do not want to hurt him.I feel like im in love with him but i have not made enough time to see him, so he gets upset and he does not know what to do. He always aske me that if i really love him then how come i can make time for friends and not him. all i want to know is do i say yes to him that i would stay with him?
2007-03-12 22:02:48 · 37 answers · asked by jamaican_4ever 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He should understand that you are very young and feel the need for diversity, not because you don't love him, but because you want to learn as much as you can about life and people. Tell him that and make him understand that he is a little bit egocentric and no matter how much you love him, you can't resume your entire life only to his person.
2007-03-12 22:08:17 · answer #1 · answered by Gersin 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You haven't made enough time to see him? How much DO you see him? If it's not at least twice a week.. he has a point... you're not investing much in this relationship!
However if he is 29 and you're only 18 and he is willing to wait til you finish your education (which I hope is college and not high school) you have plenty of time to work things out! Why not call off an exclusive relationships at least until your junior year.. and have some fun in college..that's what it's for! In the words of the song... Try to get yourself a bargain, girl
Don't be sold on the very first one
Good-looking guys come a dime a dozen
Try to find you one who's gonna give you true loving
..... you better shop around :)
2007-03-12 22:13:15 · answer #2 · answered by endorable 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful, that's the first thing. Don't jump into anything you're not ready for.
Secondly, age doesn't matter when it comes to love. Don't take any crap from anyone who says otherwise.
Before you decide to marry him make sure you know everything about him and his personality- and that means spending more time with him and being with him in various scenarios (i.e. how does he handle arguments?)
If he really loves you he will wait for as long as you need to be ready to marry him, so don't fret, you have plenty of time to think it over.
Also why can you make time for your friends and not for him? Do you love your friends more than him? Your life partner needs to be your best friend. If he isn't, then don't marry him.
Good luck!
2007-03-12 22:14:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are enjoying company of your own kind with your friends. That man is 11 years older than you. Although that's not a huge gap to get married. But beware of his over reactions with your minor decisions.
Also, I don't think you are in love with him. You are attracted towards his personality. His kind , caring and understanding nature draws you closer. And probably it's because you find he's a nice person, you hate to hurt him. It's not because of love.
Just tell him that I'm too young to commit about marriage. Let me concentrate on my career before anything else. If he tries to push it further, then I guess he needs something else.
All the best...
:-)
2007-03-13 11:26:17 · answer #4 · answered by plato's ghost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Age is not a problem. Trust me.
If you sre concerned about age diff then check www.lovingyou.com
go to forum of this site.click Age gap romance. Check what peoples say there.hollywood actors tom crusie have 16 years age diff. and many more. Even Salman Rusdie married an Indian with age diff 17 year.
So if u love him the go marry her.
best of luck
2007-03-12 22:44:15 · answer #5 · answered by rjb_bnrj 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy sounds a little possessive. I'd watch out.
Further more, I'd have to say that I'd be wary of a person who is so much older dating someone that much younger than he is. Not saying that it can't work, but the fact that he seems so possessive makes it a little more troubling.
If you feel safe in this relationship, keep dating for a year or two (at least!) and see what you feel like after then. However, if at any point you have not felt safe, dump him. You should never EVER feel unsafe with your partner.
2007-03-12 22:08:32 · answer #6 · answered by undune 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Pretend your mom is not in the picture...then make your decision. I mean you are an adult now.
But if you have ANY doubt Dont marry him...You have just reached adulthood....don't shut it down before it begins. Make a life of your own first. Then after that decide. Trust me I know EXATLY what i am saying. i married my husband right out of highschool and we are still togther...but i feel like i never had a chance to show myself I could make it on my own.
As far as the age thing...I don't think its that big of a gap.
2007-03-12 22:10:22 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa Kay 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Jamaican you do not have to say yes to him because he is pastering you but say yes because you have decided that you want to be with him. Age difference is no big deal but at least find out what happened between the gap, Ask him to take you through his years of existance because the guy has complete set of teeth by now so he must have been invloved before and when you are satisfied with his explanations then decide what is best for you not for your mum.
2007-03-12 22:09:15 · answer #8 · answered by Dr Yahoo 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It would seem this guy is somewhat selfish. Perhaps, he does not fully realise that you still have things that you must do in order to be a more "rounded" person. Meaning, that you still need to experience certain things yet, things that he may have already done. In my opinion, I would not attempt to hold someone back from seeing their friends. Isn't that what caring for others is about? Seeing past one's needs, & rejoicing in the happiness of the other? Also, I would take it a bit slower in this relationship, because as I said; you need to experience certain things, which allows you to become even wiser than you already are.
2007-03-12 22:12:39 · answer #9 · answered by LuckyJack 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
End this now before it gets ugly. Regardless of his age you're too young to get married. The fact that a 29 year old man wants to push the marriage thing with an 18 year old is suspect in my book. You're young, enjoy your youth & don't tie the knot with this one. Good luck!
2007-03-12 22:09:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋