does anyone know any good clean funny jokes?

Answer 1

Two drums and a Cymbal fall out of a window....

Bud-um Tish!



A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. They stay there all day, drinking, until the giraffe passes out. Finally, the man goes to leave but the bartender calls him back, shouting "Oi! You can't leave that lyin' there!"
The man, drunk, replies "It's not a Lion, it's a giraffe!"


A with a banana in his ear and a cucumber up his nose asks the doctor what's wrong with him. The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."

Answer 2

blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes.

He asks what she is doing.

She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.

He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat.

She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said....

FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS



Another blonde joke?

blonde bird rings the fire brigade says her house is on fire... fireman asks, '' how do i get there?''

blonde replies ''durrrrrr! in the big red truck!''

Blonde joke , hope it dos'nt offend?

2 blonde women have been found frozen to death outside a cinema.
They had been queing for 3 weeks to see ''closed for winter''

Q. Why did the blonde nurse take a red magic marker to work?
A. In case she had to draw some blood


Q: Why was the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: She was throwing all the W's away.

.Q: What would you do if a Blond threw a hand grenade right at you?
A: You'd pull the pin and throw it back.


A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.

The doctor asked her "What happened?"

She answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang, but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."

"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But what happened to your other ear?"

"The person called back."


Q. How do you get a blonde to climb on the roof?
A. Tell her that the drinks are on the house.

Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: Because she loved children.


There was a Blonde and her husband.

One morning the husband leaves for work and the blonde gets up. She's determined to prove to her husband that blondes arn't dumb, by painting the kitchen.

When her husband gets home he says to his wife "Honey why do you have 3 coats on?"

The blonde says, "Well the directions on the paint said to use three coats for best results."

A blonde was driving down the highway very slowly, so a cop pulled her over. The cop walked up to the car and said, "Do you know how fast you were going"
And the blonde replies, "Yeah, 18 sir."
"The speed limit is 60, it is dangerous to be going this slow"
"But the sign back there said the speed limit was 18."
"Mam, that was the highway sign" as the cop said this he noticed 3 quivering girls in the back. He has to the blonde, "What is wrong with them?"
The Blonde responded, "Well, we just got off Highway 177"

Answer 3

It's not to clean though!
The little boy fell in the mud haha

Answer 4

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown?
Artificial intelligence

Answer 5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead!

Answer 6

If it weren't for mini-blinds...it'd be curtains for all of us!

Answer 7

you look good

Answer 8

no all mine are filthy