why do people like (zach) seem to think....about not supporting our military spouses in Iraq?

Question

that just because he enlisted and is over in Iraq and I WANT HIM TO COME HOME that i don't support him??? i understand and so did he that we'd both probably be going over there. it doesn't change the fact that i want him home with me because i miss him and love him. we've got kids and it's bullshit when people are like "oh you want him home so why as his wife are you not supporting him???" I am don't get me wrong, my stepdad was a marine and my uncles were all in the navy as well as my 3 granddads. so if anyone knows what this is all about and how to support people it would be me and other military people and i don't like people acting like they know what they're talking about when they aren't going through it! Maybe im just venting but you other military people tell me what you think

Answer 1

I hear you, loud and clear. I'll pray for your husband's quick and safe return!

I get tired of people thinking they understand what it's like to be a military spouse, when they have never been one. So I feel you perfectly. Actually, I wrote about this in my blog, after I got told by someone that I should join the military myself and go fight in Iraq. I guess people just REALLY don't understand military life at all.

I support my husband, and I support what he does. It doesn't mean that I don't want him home with me. I understand that he might have to go to war at any time (he might be deploying in November), but that doesn't mean that I can't want him to stay home.

Ignore the naysayers. They're just ignorant.

Answer 2

I agree with you whole heartedly. I'm pregnant and due any day now, and I've been told that he won't be able to come home because it was too close to deployment (Feb 8th). I'm getting guff from the other pregnant ladies in the FRG because I want my husband here, and I don't see how it's fair that the FRG leader's husband gets sent home when she's due a week after me, and how they who've all had kids or moved home with family have a support system in place. I'm still here at base, and the nearest relatives are 8 hours away, and left 2 days ago because they were here for a week and I still haven't had the baby. But the military does need a better support system in place than the FRG. I've noticed that it's one big rumor mill...."The guys are coming home at....., the guys are doing this type of mission......the guys aren't doing any missions.....she's sleeping with.....he's sleeping with....she's doing this.....OMG! did you hear she had a mental breakdown and went to the psych ward....etc, etc" It disgusts me how they say they are pro-family and they don't leave all that great of resources behind for the spouses/families.

Answer 3

I agree that people should stop speaking for the spouses (and servicemembers) who have never been in the military, and know nothing about the military. Not much makes me angrier than being told what to feel, or what I want.

I support my husband 100%. He loves his job (he drives big trucks) and he actually wants to deploy. He doesnt like being a garrison soldier and wants to go. We have been through 2 deployments and he is now preparing for a 3rd, and I think we come out the other side stronger and closer than we were before. But I have never said "I want you to come home" or "I want him to come home." I say "I cant wait until he IS home" or something like that. I know he is doing a job, that he loves, and he wants to stay until the mission is complete, and not before. I love him more than ANYTHING, but I got the homefront covered until he gets home, and if I say something like "come home" then he cant do his job, and he loves his job. And there are people counting on him.

I would say enjoy him while he is home, and let him do his mission while he is away. And honestly (from an army wife), saying that you want him to come home does sound like you arent supporting him. Maybe that isnt what you meant, but that is what I see when I read it.

Answer 4

I think we should all go home, but we can't do that until Iraq can take care of itself.