My Boyfriend of 2years declared his love to me, and he told me that I am the woman he wants to marry and spend the rest of his life with. But he is also scared, as this is the most important decision he will ever have to make. He currently stays in a lovely house with his housemate.(Renting) Now he wants me to move in with him and his housemate(male)so that we can see if it will work out,us living together.I cannot stand the housemate,cause we plan a quite evening,and he rocks up with 30 friends and they trash the place.then he refuses to clean the place,and the floors are all sticky with alcohol,and every single glass in the house is dirty etc.My boyfriend said that when I move we will set some rules,and he will just have to live by them.I know his housemate,and he does not have ANY sence of responsibility.I said i am willing to move in with him alone in our own place.Am i unreasonable? I think the situation with the housemate will just put strain on the relationship. Please help?
2007-03-12 21:03:23 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Living together is an important decision for the both of you to make, and if you already have issues with your "future" housemate...I can only foresee bigger problems. You obviously know the housemate and his less-than-desirable habits well enough...do you think he'd change just because you'd move in? Can you trust your boyfriend to put his foot down and stand up for you if the situation arises? I'm all for compromise, but this is a big issue. You have to consider that if this arrangement doesn't work out, you could most likely be homeless; although, you would definitely learn what your boyfriend is made of. Are you wanting to prepare for a life with your boyfriend + housemate, or just your boyfriend? Stand up for yourself if this is what you truly believe in. Good luck.
P.S. You could maybe consider a trial run...move in for a couple of weeks and see how it goes before fully committing yourself.
2007-03-12 21:27:17 · answer #1 · answered by crewfoo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the rent is free? Sure! If you have to pay 1 cent to live like this.. then you might as well stay where you are. You'll just end up cleaning up after 2 men whilst letting your bf have the milk without buying the cow.
So, unless it's free.. don't do it. I'm going to assume your cheapo boy toy wants you to pitch in.. in that case tell him you want to move somewhere new for just you two..
AND.. don't do it until you actually have a ring on your finger if you know what I mean. I'm all for not rushing into marriage, but a nice ring would show some sort of commitment.. and if it doesn't end up working, hey, at least you got a nice piece of bling.
2007-03-12 21:57:47 · answer #2 · answered by blue_rose_69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister is in a similar situation. I don't feel that you are being unreasonable honestly. It seems men in general have a hard time standing up to people when it comes to there mate. If rules are going to be set they need to be set before you move in so that the roomy understands exactly whats going on. You can come one day set rules but he's not going to change over night. If you're paying money to stay in a place (even if you aren't) and your bf invited you to move in with him, he should demand that the roomy respect you or leave. Honestly, if my bf asked me to move in with him the roommate would have to be moving out because the entire situation would make me uncomfortable. Anyway, sit down and tell him the list of things you'd like to see happen or else you're not moving in with him, that simple. You deserve to be respected like any regular human being. Good Luck.
2007-03-12 21:14:20 · answer #3 · answered by bre714 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your boyfriend that he should FIRST set "some rules" and see if his housemate can live by them. If he cannot, I think it's obviously not an option to move in there as long as he (the housemate) still lives there.
2007-03-12 21:13:28 · answer #4 · answered by The Orange Whisperer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you - you will just end up a broken heart... A 3 way relationship never work, even if you did like this filfthy room mate. Don't do it. Move into your own place and if you boyfriend does not want to do it like that, well give him time untill he is ready for that or, well...
Good luck
2007-03-12 21:12:43 · answer #5 · answered by maverick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's in no way unreasonable to need what you like. The question is..in case you men are very serious and dedicated...why do you experience an engagement is mandatory..and why does he seem hesitant to get engaged. like the asserting is going..you in no way relatively be attentive to somebody till you reside with them, so i will understand his opt to purpose it in the past marriage. one element for particular you do no longer choose to offer him an ultamatium except you're prepared to settle for NO to the engagement. (which will harm and reason pointless drama on your courting) i think you ought to stand your floor if being engaged potential that plenty to you, although, understand the adventure of residing at the same time would not replace inspite of in case you men are only boyfriend/lady pal, engaged or married. getting to grasp with reference to the quirks and undesirable conduct no longer revealed till co habitation is inevitable in any difficulty.
2016-11-25 00:05:10 · answer #6 · answered by taguchi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope..you arent being unreasonable at all - you are being realistic! you have got to let your man know, girl! be honest.
you arent a maid, you are someone he says he loves and he needs to do whats best for you and your future together.
2007-03-12 21:09:04 · answer #7 · answered by Queenly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
insist that u want a place just thw two of u, and dont move in with him til he agrees (play hard balll ;) )
2007-03-12 21:38:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three is a crowd...I wouldnt do it....
2007-03-12 21:39:16 · answer #9 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋