my psycho MIL she wants it her way or its hell way shes too controlling wants things done only the way she wants if i dont listen then a fight breaks out with her insulting cursing me but i stay quiet,,i cant handle this now....im an adult not a kid im not about to go listen to her when my own parents dont tell me what to do not to mention whos gona listen to this insults im gona open my mouth but im controlling it due to my husband will fight with me more then he already does since she lies to him about things about me that r FALSE .shes a clean freak who comes in my room curses me out if i didnt quickly throw away my pepsi can as soon as it finished..i have to do things ASAP according to her and i dont feel relaxed i feel soooo annoyed and trapped...i have a little baby how do u expect this from me to be cleaning all day i takecare of the baby 24/7 is she human or what????
2007-03-12 19:15:19 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
yes she's human............and she has the right to expect you to help clean, cook, whatever.
her house.........her rules.
don't like it?............move out!
you are sounding like a spoiled brat. grow up!
2007-03-20 16:20:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say that you can't relax. You can only be yourself. Put the pepsi can away as soon as you are finished with it. Keep your house as clean as you can within limits. Most important of all, you do have to learn to relax. This is the way she is. Your husband grew up with it and he survived. So should you. Your key is relaxation. Doing some things better - but not everything because she can be excessive - relax as soon as you are around her but consciously trying to relax. You can't control or change her but you can control and change your reaction to her. Slow down, take a deep breath, listen to her but don't jump through hoops for her. Just relax your body, fight feelings of anger, breathe deeply and basically control your reaction.
You will feel much better. You won't fight. It's hard to fight or get into an argument when you aren't tense, you are in a state of relaxation. Focus on your baby, distract yourself with getting busy with your child. If she butts in and tries to show you how it's done, let her. Smile. Relax.
Your are going nowhere with your reactions and your fighting instinct. This is a battle you can't win. So don't even try. Everything would be easier if self-hypnosis were something you could master but I realize that is an effort. It is the answer, however.
I can't take an airplane trip unless I use relaxation techniques. Without them, I would be running around the plane screaming. It is what will be the only thing to save me in a tight situation so I have to know to use it. Avoid the situation if you can but if you can't, relax. It is the means to cope.
2007-03-17 13:41:50 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur an adult shes an adult..why isnt she mature enough to know not to boss nother adult around? ur too nice for taking her crap and not beating her down. now a days adults dont even listen to parents so who is she ur not even her real daughter ur an outside how dare she try to disrespect you.. ur a very nice person i understand cuz i have the same issue with mine only someone smart would understand this.other people r giving u advice which is ok but i think seriuosly ur MIL is a mental case for bossing u like this ur room is ur private place who is she telling u to throw away the can. when u have kids its impossible to wash urself use bathroom and importaly sleep no new mom sleeps so how is she expecting all this..she knows its hard shes only doing this on purpose to bother u.
2007-03-18 21:55:42 · answer #3 · answered by ghazal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I agree with karena k. You can't hope your husband to side with you if you decide to join the fight and make it a free for both of you. A better approach would be to do a 'Munnabhai' on your MIL. Think of and do things which will either force her to think that you are upto something or trying to win her over. It could be small things like doing something small for her before she could do it for herself. Try to be a step ahead of her in what she is likely to do/say so that you are prepared beforehand. Just make her feel so miserable that she is unable to find fault with you. Remember the movie 'Beta' in which Madhuri Dixit, placed in situation similar to yours, finds out MIL's weak points and exploits them in a way that her husband has to agree with her.
Best of luck.
2007-03-13 02:37:11 · answer #4 · answered by Geepee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Certainly try to maintain some kind of cleaniliness since you are living in her home and this is the way she wants things. You should start looking for a place of your own, right away. Its impossible for 2 families to live in one house. She will always have something to say about things, if you living in her home.
2007-03-20 10:40:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a very common story. Dont be too melodramatic about it. The way (length and language wise) you had narrated your story will naturally make people irritated towards you. So its quite natural for your MIL too. Plese be brief and specific with your communications, then only you will be able to solve your family problems.
2007-03-13 11:40:53 · answer #6 · answered by Babul D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just take a deep breath I am sure in every married woman life they wanted to start a I hate my M-I-L club but come on it just not mature has well as logical be the bigger person and don't fight with her but do sat some rules down while she in your house but if your in hers then just deal with it. Good luck and don't allow her to bug you so much
2007-03-13 02:26:54 · answer #7 · answered by randrnorman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's nothing new. every DIL has to tolerate their MILs. just ignore her. she wont never consider you nice although you do everything for make her happy. so just chill.
you should be sure that your husband loves you and both of you are happy with each other and your baby.
imagine your MIL as a radio which doesn't work & it on because there is no way to repare it. ignore her
2007-03-14 08:35:32 · answer #8 · answered by sweetdreams 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'M SORRY GIRL MIL OR NOT HUSBAND OR NOT I WOULD BE TELLING THE BOTH OF THEM THAT'S NOT FAIR. IF YOUR HUSBAND DOESN'T RESPECT YOUR FEELINGS THEN YOU SHOULDN'T BE WITH HI'M I UNDERSTAND THAT'S HIS MOTHER BUT SHE DON'T NEED TO COME INTO YOUR HOUSE AND TELL YOU WHAT TO DO. YOU SHOULD GO TO THE POLICE STATION AND GET A PEACE BOND AGAINST HER IM TELLING YOU IF YOU WANT YOUR LIFE BACK YOU HAVE TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF NOT JUST SIT THERE AND BE QUIET YOU HAVE A MOUTH GIRL USE IT YOU TELL HER AND IF SHE DON'T LIKE IT KICK OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. ITS YOU HOUSE TO AND YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO YOUR OWN FREEDOM AND IF YOUR MAN DON'T LIKE IT THEN HE CAN GO LIVE WITH HIS MOTHER.
2007-03-20 20:56:49 · answer #9 · answered by Holly Ranger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be nice to her. She is your husbands mother. Just ignore things she says. The nastier she is the sweeter you become. It will drive her nuts. Use some reverse phsycology on the old bat.
2007-03-13 02:22:43 · answer #10 · answered by karena k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let her treat you like that. Nobody deserve to be treated like a sh......If your husband really cares for you, he would understand that you're getting hurt by his mother and he needs to do something about it coz he's about to loose somebody who loves him much. I know parents and spouse can't be compared but they need to choose who to understand and prefer to be with. Always remember that there will only be ONE queen in the palace. You need to talk to your husband to move out.
2007-03-20 20:20:14 · answer #11 · answered by jacque1016 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋