ok so me and this guy dated about 2 years ago for like 4 months we were never in a relationship or anything but we dated it didnt work out cuz timing was wrong for both of us but every other thing was right. After it was over I had the hardest time trying to move on and get over him, it had never been so hard esp. with a guy I wasnt even in a relationship with. A month or two later I still hadnt moved on but we had stopped talking, then about 2 months afterwards I try dating another guy in the hopes that he will help me get over the other one but that's when this guy comes back into my life and he starts hanging out with me and my bf all the time and by that point I realzied I was in love with him and it only got worse I could just never get over him it was impossible and the bf didnt help me get over him at all then finally me and my bf brake up but he starts seeing some other girl (by this point we are very good platonic friends) I never interfere or let him know how I feel because
2007-03-12 19:01:54 · 6 answers · asked by paperback_writer909 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
didnt want to weird him out or mess up our friendship when I knew he probably didnt feel the same way. Anyway he brakes up with this girl but we live in different cities although we still see each other on occassion and I will be moving to his city in a few months. Well this winter one night when we were hanging out he was a little tipsy but not drunk he started kissing me and we ended up sleeping together. He is only the 2nd person I've slept with as I will only sleep with people Im in love with and he has stong morals and values and that whole thing seemed out of character and I am his 4th. Anyway Im confused about the whole situation the next morning but I leave on very pleasant terms I tell my friend what happened as I have told this friend about literally everything that has to do with me and this guy for the past 2 years. This friend goes and tells him how I've felt about him and he had no idea he didnt talk to me for a while but I finally got the courage to call him and I saw
2007-03-12 19:02:15 · update #1
him at this party and apparently he came cuz he knew I was gonna be there. anyway we both pretended like nothing happened cuz he doesnt know I know he knows but Im still in love with him and I still want to be his friend I've been trying to get over him for the past 2 years and no luck yet PLEASE tell me if you know how I know the odds of us ever being together are slim to none so I hold no hope I just want to stop feeling the way I do about him and I know I just need to get over it already as it has been 2 years but I just dont know how to do that I've tried dating other people, thinking about other things when I'd think about him, not talking to him for a while all with no luck at all. I would literally do anything for this guy and have slpent so many sleepless nights over the past 2 years and it just hurts so incredibly bad and I dont know what to do anymore
2007-03-12 19:05:12 · update #2
My heart goes out to you. I've been there. So in love - and it's unquited. It's horrible.
You probably won't like my suggestion - but here's what you do...
Ask him to meet you. Tell him exactly how you feel. (Told you that you wouldn't like it) Listen to what he has to say. He MIGHT want to get together iwith you. Sometimes people don't see the good things they have right in front of them. He might be willing to try. OR - he might say - "Sorry, I'm not interested" Either way - this truly is what you should do. If he wants a relationship with you HOORAY!! If he says "No Thank you" - then you've actually heard him say it - and it will give you some fuel you need to move on.
Dating other people will not necessarily work - as you already know. But keeping your distance from him - and starting up a new time consuming interest - (one that takes your concentration - like theatre - or tutoring kids) will probably help.
Good luck to you. You sooooooo remind me of myself in my younger days.
Oh - and that friend of yours who told him how you felt about him - when you obviously told her in confidence... Let her know that was a crappy thing to do. She wasn't being much of a friend at all.
2007-03-12 19:16:34 · answer #1 · answered by liddabet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow sounds like that you cant get over the first guy because even though yall didnt have anything there between yall, the first guy it sounds like, didnt want anything with you but you did with him. & so therefore thats why you still had feelings for him and wanted to do everything with him and around him and he never did or just didnt care, am i right?
Ok so now this second guy that you saw and slept with was only the beer talking hunny. I know it hurts for me to say that to you but it is true. B/c if alcohol is involved then people do stupid things. But the thing to ask you is were you drunk too? B/c if so then it was both of yall's faults and not just his. If he got you drunk hoping to score with you, then he accomplished what he came to get that night from you or any other girl in the first place. Just happened to be you. But if it was you doing the drinking and he wasnt then you must of still had feelings for the first guy and thought that if you had sex with him (whether or not both of yall were drunk) then you would STILL get over the first guy......am i right?
Wrong.....it only made things worse for you for both the guys......not only do you have feelings for the first guy if you still do but now you have feelings for the second.
My suggestion is, dont tell your friends how you feel about that guy or that other guy, b/c more than likely they will try and defend you and will tell the guy that you like. But im not saying you cant still tell her things, its just your better judgement about the friends part.
But the other reason why your friend told the second and he ran off b/c of how you felt about him, its b/c hes not ready to have the same feelings as you did for the first guy. Thats why, honestly both of them were inmature i think. I think you should just ditch both of them and dont do anything else with any other guy until you know what you want from a guy. Like i.e. a relationship, long-term, short-term, casual dating, etc...... you see where i'm going hunny, just give it time and know what you want and then dont rush into anything. Dont worry you have your whole life ahead of you. You will figure it out.
Just use your better judgement next time.
2007-03-13 02:16:14 · answer #2 · answered by fryeindustries2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best relationships start out as friendships, I would just come clean with him and tell him how you feel, because I am sure he probably feels the same way about you but both of you are afraid to say anything to each other about your true feelings because your afraid of being rejected
2007-03-13 02:12:12 · answer #3 · answered by celesta_palmer2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some relationships start out weird...it is probably best that you two keep it on the friendship level...there is no getting over someone that you are really in love with...maybe something will happen with you two...and it will move to the lover level...just don't be so stressed out about it...just let things move on their own
2007-03-13 02:16:12 · answer #4 · answered by djsbabygirl2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
long story,
u shouldn't have slept with him,
cause it doesn't seem like he has the same feeling for u, it looks like he wanted to get one thing of u, and he got it,
and thats hwy when ur friend told him, how he felt,
he didn't talk to u,
u should just forget bout him, and move on,
think bout it u only date for 4 months,
2 years ago, u couldn't of possibly love hm,
i think that u should move on, and find someone else ,
2007-03-13 02:08:44 · answer #5 · answered by emzisebastain 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't date for at least 1 year. Find yourself. When you're not looking for it, it will happen.
2007-03-13 02:05:59 · answer #6 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋