My ex-boyfriends mother made my life a living hell all the years I was with her son. Now the relationship has been over for 5 years she is trying to be my best friend. She wants her son and I to be friends. She calls me all the time talking about her son. I tell her I am not interested in her son or do I want to hear about him. I try screening all my calls, but after awhile she starts calling private. She leaves message and I never return the call, but she keeps on calling. Sometime I get anger with her, but she just says I’m having a bad day and calls a few days later. How do I get this ex-boyfriends mother to stop calling me without changing my phone number? How do I get her to let go without being mean. (Her son left me to be with someone else and I have forgiven him. I just do not want him or his mother in my life).
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2007-03-12 18:48:37 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Just be straight forward and to the point without having a crappy attitude.
"Don't call me any more. I'm not interested in talking to you. We have nothing to discuss."
If she calls again, answer the phone and tell her: "I specifically told you not to call me any more. This is considered harassment. If you continue to harass me, I will call the police."
Like I said, this is very straightforward and to the point. You don't have to say it in an angry tone or anything. Just be firm and confident.
Otherwise, it sounds like this woman is nuts. I would SERIOUSLY record these phone calls. I know it sounds a bit overboard but if it comes down to actually calling the cops, you'll be glad to have all those conversations recorded.
You can buy cheap digital recorders at any office supply store. Just put your phone on Speaker phone and record your brief conversation with her.
If you're not going to talk to her any more, don't go out of your way to be gentle. It's not your job to keep her feelings from getting hurt.
2007-03-12 19:03:19 · answer #1 · answered by Erin H 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Write her a letter (keep a copy) firmly but politely explain that you have moved on, so has her son, and she needs to as well. Make her feel bad for making your life hell all those years, but do it nicely. Try to block here number through your phone company. Tell her you do not want to have any bad feelings between you two, but her calling is beginning to ruin your life (exaggerate a little). If she doesn't stop you will be forced to take more drastic measures.
THEN, if she still calls (more than once to speak about your letter) go the the cops with a copy of your letter and file a report that she is harassing you. She won't get arrested or anything, the cops will just go by and talk to her. That'll be a MUCH needed wake up call for her.
Congrats to you for moving on with your life despite this crazy lady. I hope this helps.
2007-03-13 13:34:00 · answer #2 · answered by xtraluvly03 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not know if this will work for you, but I live in Canada, and our phone company has this thing that you can get them to do with certain numbers. Like any numbers that have 800 or 900 on them I can tell my phone company that I do not want these numbers to get through . It is a call block or something like that. They also have this other one if your desperate, but it is a little meaner than you want to be. It is called nuisance calls , if this number calls you all the time and after they call you even once you can call your phone company and then they do the rest.
Please , lol .... I am not very clear tonight , been a very long day with meetings. Just phone your telephone company and they might be able to help you.
Good luck ,and Good Night
2007-03-13 02:44:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you have selective call blocking? If not call the company and get it, with ours we can put in specific numbers that are blocked from calling us at all. We had to do this with my teenage son who gave a girl our number and she began stalking him. I think this woman has well outworn her welcome. You have asked her not to call and she obviously is ignoring all etiquette herself!
The only other alternative is to write a note to her, stating that you insist she cease all contact with you. Tell her you've forgiven her son, you wish them both well but want to put an end to that chapter in your life, you must move on and hope she will do the same. I would tell her that you will not be taking any more calls from her nor will you return any (even though you haven't). Keep a copy and if she insists on calling after that get a restraining order if she doesn't stop calling you. Make sure you keep a copy of the letter, it wouldn't be a bad idea to send it registered mail so you have proof to the police she received it.
Good luck.
2007-03-13 01:59:48 · answer #4 · answered by Wicked Good 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Mother-in-law, I am sorry, but your son left me for another woman 5 years ago. I have forgiven him, but I can't take him back, I have moved on with my life.
Add that you are sure she means well, but after 5 years, he might not appreciate his Mom calling his X with the details of his life. Say you have to go, it's time to go to work, or whatever is the truth, and tell her goodbye, and hang up.
If she keeps calling, keep saying the same thing, firmly, over and over, until she gets it.
This way is not mean, but it is truthful, which is always the best road to take.
hope this helps.
2007-03-13 10:05:47 · answer #5 · answered by riversconfluence 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its great that you want to be so nice to her but personally I don't think she deserves it. If I were in your situation I would just tell her the next time she calls: "look I'm serious, I have forgiven your son for hurting me and I have moved on just like he has. I am sorry but I don't wish to have either of you in my life from this point forward. I'm sorry" or something like that..I'm sure you can put it more eloquently and tuned more to the exact situation. If she doesn't get it after you try to be nice once more I would just start being rude and tell her to just leave you alone. Good luck!
2007-03-13 03:37:14 · answer #6 · answered by aly 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Young one, love is a play with many characters. Some have major roles others minor. All performances most end. Some spectators dwell on these matters intensely, and wish to change the predestined outcome. This can not be, if your will is for them to be removed from your life you must take the proper steps in doing so. It seems his mother is strong willed and will not take no for an answer. You must give her no choice. You have to change your number to save yourself the headache, but never be disrespectful for it will dishonor you and bring you shame.
2007-03-13 02:06:19 · answer #7 · answered by Shogun Vega 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I haven't read the other answers yet, and don't mean to be rude. Why don't you tell this busy body to go jump off a cliff and to leave you alone. Tell her you will report any more phone calls from her as harassment to the telephone company. Why be held hostage by this old crow when you don't need to be?
2007-03-13 01:56:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I appreciate your desire to do this without being unkind but nice is not working with this woman-you have explained how you feel and she ignores it. Tell her that if she doesn't stop calling you will be forced to complain to the local police that she is harrassing you-and follow through. The cops will not do anything very radical, they will just go by and have a word with her.
2007-03-13 01:58:29 · answer #9 · answered by barbara 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She sounds obssessed with something that you have nothing to do with.
Just keep on doing what you are doing. You have talked with her and told her no thanks, ignored her messages et all.
Perhaps she now realizes what a neat person you are and were very good for her son as a mate.
You, however, have moved on and good for you.
Don't worry about it, just keep saying "no" and she will eventually stop.
2007-03-13 20:37:26 · answer #10 · answered by Pacifica 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋