Does physical abuse run in families??

Question

I was just wondering, does physical abuse run in families?? Or where does it come from?? Where does bad anger and mean - ness come from?? For someone who doesn't drink (except on special occasions, which is very rarely) and who's fathers father beat his wife, is it possible for him (the child) to do the same thing?? Or at least some of the same stuff?? The only thing the childs father did while they were growing up was yell alot. He never laid on hand on any of the kids. Just wondering. Thanks for your help.

Answer 1

Unfortunately, studies have shown that if often does. Humans are formed by their environment, and however much they may deny it, growing up in a home with physical abuse leaves an impression on them that they will copy when they grow older. General feelings of anger and tension in domestic relationships will seep into children's subconscious during their key developmental years, and sew the seeds for an unhappy future.

Of course, there are always exceptions, but sadly, this is often what happens.

Answer 2

Yes, it can. You see, when a child sees a parent commit such abuse in the home, even if they don't like it, they usually pick up that behaviour and could have a tendency to treat their spouse/children like the abusive parent did.
I come from a family with strong personalities so two types of people generally developed. One type picked up anger problems from my grandparents while the other type, because of their retiring nature, picked up the exact opposite to survive.

Anger and meanness come from many things but among the causes I've discovered, the main root is a lack of love and attention.

Now, in this case you brought up, the child, because of what he has been exposed to, can develop abusive tendencies. HOWEVER, it depends on the child's personality and what the child chooses later in life. The best thing anyone can give this kid is good firm guidance and discipline coupled with lots of love.

Case in point? My younger brother.
His grandma used to beat up my dad something awful when my dad made terrible mistakes.
However, my dad swore he would never hurt his own family physically and by God's grace, he did. When he got angry, he wouldn't lay a hand on us but we would lose a piece of furniture or something. He continued to deal with his temper and now the worst we hear is a lecture.
My brother has inherited the personality of my father and grandmother. Now although he loves martial arts and fighting as a boy, he has a loving heart and was taught early about the importance of respecting others and not using force in anger. He has NEVER hurt anyone outside of a childish sparring match with fellow fighter friends. I don't think he will ever abuse anyone.

Hope that helps.

Answer 3

Yes, it does run in families because it is learned behavior. A child raised by an abusive parent whether physical or emotional is filled with anger and rage. At the same time the child becomes use to the abuse and he looks at it as normal behavior. That child will treat his children in the same manner unless he receives help and breaks the cycle of violence.

Answer 4

Verbal abuse (yelling) can be just as damaging as fists... because while bruises can heal, feelings run deep.

To answer your question, YES, physical abuse is "passed along" because parents are teaching their kids that this is how grownups deal with kids and that it's okay... and they in turn do it to THEIR kids, and so on. That's why you'll often hear it referred to as the "chain of abuse".

Personally, I was savagely abused and neglected as a child, including being raped on my 9th birthday by a family member - and when I told my mother about having been raped, she laughed at me and said "good - maybe now he'll leave ME alone!" Counseling saved my life... and helped ME to BREAK the chain of abuse.

If you're in a bad situation, please, PLEASE know that you DON'T have to take it. Many states and cities have crisis intervention centers, emergency shelters, and halfway houses where you CAN get help. You're on the computer right now, yes? Make a change.

Good luck to you.

Answer 5

Its a hard question to answer. I have a friend that was mentally, sexually and physically abused from the age of 5. He is now one of the best fathers in the world. He does have issues of his own to deal with but he has never harmed his wife or his kids.

Answer 6

Yes, Yes, Yes...aggression is not only a learned behavior, but can be passed on thru a person's genes (genetic makeup), just as most traits are, i.e. being funny, being artistic, being violent, being manic-depressive....though if the child knows of his parents' traits, he can choose to not be like them, and though it will take willpower and learning (perhaps with help from professionals) other ways to channel their aggression, it can be done. On the other hand the child in question, may assume that what he has seen in his parents is the way to live his own life, then he will demonstrate to others what has been demonstrated to him.

Answer 7

Abuse of any kind is a choice. Yes, there are lots of kids, who turn into abusive parents. The politically correct gamut say that it's their parent's fault, but the one thing to remember is that we are given free will and are fully capable of redirecting anger and fustration. Having been raised in a very abusive household, I now raise my four kids with love, tenderness and security. They have rules, they have consequences for breaking those rules, however, I made a choice to not beat them, or abuse them. So, in my opinion, it's not hereditary, it's an excuse.

Answer 8

Sure does. I'm fourth generation abused and decided to "end the line" in my teens because I could read and write as well as get away with fooling the authorties into believing I was clumsy and repeatedly hit by doors. Seems to be more of an environmental rather than genetic problem and strongly allied with alcoholics, drug abusers.

Answer 9

Abuse is a learned behavior, That does not need to be carried on down the family tree. But all to often it is. It is up to each individual to take control of their life and decide to stop the chain of abuse.

Answer 10

Indian blood ,Kentucky blood.Not sure a ignorant red neck take your pick.Its hard to control your anger some people deal with it different.I have an Aunt that starts humming and talking soft when everyone is pissed off .Dont know how she stays so calm.