How do I keep my 5 year old and toddler safe from child molesters?

Question

This is my situation, my neighbor is on trial for child molestation and this is on going. At the local family housing park we go to that is surrounded by families there was some teenager accused of molesting little kids playing alone there. Lastly I just found out my fellow classmate is accused of child molestation and also escorted out of the childcare center on campus. My husband says all we can do is teach our kids to be safe. But I say, how when you hear stories of 12 year olds going into bathrooms and being assaulted.
from worried sick mom

Answer 1

the only thing you can do it teach them to stay away from stranger and to keep an eye on them dont let them out to play with out you or your husband

Tips for parents

Parents should teach their children to:


Be safe. Tell your children that they have the right to be safe. No one can take that away.

Protect their own bodies. Children must know that their body belongs to them.

Say no. Tell your children it's alright to say no if someone tries to hurt them. A lot of children are told to always do what grown-ups tell them.

Get help against bullies. Bullies pick on younger, more vulnerable children. Tell children to get friends to help them, and to say no without fighting. Make sure they tell a grown-up. Tell them to give up something a bully wants, like a bike, if they are going to get hurt. Tell them you will not be angry if they come home without it.

Tell you. Tell your children they must always tell you what has happened and that you will not be angry with them.

Be believed. If your child wants your help, they need to know they will be believed and supported. This is especially true in the case of sexual assault, as children rarely lie about it.

Not keep secrets. Child molesters known to the child often say that a kiss or a touch is 'our secret'. Tell your children that some secrets should never be kept, even if they said they wouldn't tell.

Refuse touches. Tell your children that they can say no to touching or kissing if they don't like it. If someone touches them and tells them to keep it a secret, they must tell you. Never force your child to hug or kiss anyone.

Not talk to strangers. Most well-meaning adults will not approach a child who is on his own, unless he is obviously lost or distressed. Tell your children never to talk to strangers, and to politely ignore any approach from a stranger. Get them to tell you if a stranger tries to talk to them.

Break rules. Tell your children they can break rules to stay safe. They can run away, scream, lie or kick to get away from danger.

Answer 2

Your husband is right - you can't keep your child in a bubble - that will backfire on you. You have to teach them to protect themselves.

First off - teach them what is okay and what is not. ("Good touch" vs. "Bad touch") Let them know that NO ONE is allowed to do anything to them that makes them feel bad. (And if someone tries, they have to tell you or dad RIGHT AWAY and they will NEVER get in trouble!)

Since most molestations are not the perverts hiding in the bushes, they're done by people kids trust (babysitter, scoutmaster, teacher, etc.) be dilligent about what adults come into close contact with your kids. Don't make them afraid of the cashier at the supermarket smiling at them, but they should know that they should NEVER go with any grown up who asks them, no matter what. This is where a safe code word comes into play - any adult who asks your child to go with them for ANY reason HAS to give the code word that you and your child agree on - if the adult doesn't know the code word, your child has to run and yell for help at the top of his lungs.

Lastly, teach your child that if they need help for any reason, they need to find an adult they know and trust (i.e. someone like their teacher or your best friend) or someone in a uniform (police or a store uniform) to help them.

Most of the kids who are assaulted are either vulernable to a molester because of their homelife (in the cases of a kid molested by a scoutmaster or something - most of them have either an absent parent or just a sucky home life in general) and the ones who are jump assaulted didn't know how to protect themselves - there's always safety in numbers. (In other words, no one should go to a public restroom alone - bring a buddy - even if they just wait outside the door for you.)

Answer 3

There is no way you can keep your children totally safe but you can make a difference.

1. Teach your children how to be safe and teach them often. This will change as they age but the most important thing is to teach them to think before acting. When old enough get them into a self defense or martial arts class.

2. Know your enemy. Most states now have all sex offenders listed online. You can search the database and it will tell you who is living in your area that has been arrested. Many states require the police to notify you if a sex offender moves in your area. Check with the local police for this information.

3. Get involved. Do you have a neighborhood watch? Do you know your neighbors? Do you go to meetings the police hold in your area to inform you of such things? Do you know who your local officers are?

Thanks to all the screwed up people in the world you have a full-time job ahead of you. But don't be sick and worried, be aware and active.

Answer 4

Well yes your husband is right talk to your kids about safety BUT you also have to NEVER trust anyone alone with your child. Babysitters? Do a background check, go with your gut feeling and see how your child feels after being around them. Where is your child's room in the house, close to yours? Check all windows and doors before you put your child to bed at night. Use the buddy systems while using the bathroom, I have seen 7 and 8 year old boys in the women's - that is called being a good parent. Just remember to talk to your child about everything and everyone.

Answer 5

I truly think that kids who's parents care for them themselves, which it sounds like you are, are safer. No childcare, no nannies, no playing at the park or in front of the house without mom or dad supervising. I also won't let my kids go on overnights for a looonnnngggg time yet, you never know about other people and their lives. I think the parents who leave the care of their kids to others have WAY more to worry about.

Answer 6

ok maybe its just me here....but what are a 5 year old and a toddler doing playing in a park or going to public bathrooms alone? you just need to teach your kids to be safe and to watch out for each other....the whole dont talk to strangers type stuff....and the most important thing if you ever attend any child safety course or anything they will tell you if someone grabs your kids teach them not to yell for help ...yell fire, too many kids yell help when they are just playing so adults dont always take them seriously.......they will pay attention if a child yells that there is a fire though. the most important thing you have to do as a parent though is watch them closely in public places. your kids are way too young for you to take your eyes off of them unless anohter responsible trustworthy adult is watching them for you.

Answer 7

I would say move, but, they are everywhere.Your husband is right. Teach them to be safe. If at break or recess your child needs to use the washroom, have her go with a friend. Don't let your child out of sight when you go shopping, keep her near you. If she needs to go someplace, you take her. Teach her about good touching/bad touching and "private parts". Tell her about not talking to strangers and what to d oif someone approaches her. You cannot prevent it, you cannot be with your kid every second of everyday. All you can do is teach what to do and hope you taught her good judgement.

Answer 8

Aint it just sad that a parent has to have these worries? I remember when i was a teen and dreamming of being a parent, these kinda things never entered my mind. but you have to and I would say the best thing you can do is wach them as best as you can and then wach better than that. teach you 5 yo the difference between good touch and bad touch, also if god forbid they r grabed teach them to yell fire, not help its human nature to look for the fire so if they here this they will look in the direction of your child... Also look for a dvd called kids in power very good for this kinda thing

Answer 9

I would suggest they do not go any where by themselves even in the bathroom. A parent should go. Let them know the dangers of someone touching them at school ect. and how wrong it is and they should come and tell you. Have a secret pass word that only you, your child, and husband know. So if a strangers tells them its an emergency they needn to go with them they will know not to unless they know the password.

Answer 10

Never ever leave them. Always go into the toilet together - yes, the 3 of you. Don't leave one outside and don't let one go in by themselves. My son is 8 and daughter is 7 and I still don't allow my son to go into a public men's toilet. It's always the womens. I don't care what people say because if something happens then it's too late.