I'm getting drunk for a good cause on Thursday! The local police academy has bought a ton of liquor and wants us to get blitzed, so the student cops can practice sobriety tests.
I need some ideas for clever jokes to say to the cops, you know the things you'd want to say if a cop pulled you over, but don't because you don't want to go to jail for pissing them off!
Any ideas?
2007-03-12 17:40:55 · 6 answers · asked by rita_alabama 6 in Politics & Government ➔ Law Enforcement & Police
Hey there, Jeremy. I'm a paramedic, and I've got a lot of friends on the force. Me thinks you've been on the wrong side of the law a bit too often. Besides, I want to say something clever and funny, not inadvertedly become Tazer practice!
2007-03-12 22:27:26 · update #1
But officer, I was the designated decoy.
2007-03-12 23:06:34 · answer #1 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When they ask how many drinks you've had its "TWO, occifer" only two and never admit to more, even when you float the keg yourself. Two is the universal number of drinks even when guys and gals blow a .23%.
Start bitching about them not having a warrant. All the ignorant fools want you to have a warrant, even when you're just talking to them.
Talk about how on your last DUI your lawyer was super great and made the cop look dumb at the trial even though you were really wasted when you got pulled over.
These will work to get a chuckle out of a trainee and piss off a real cop.
2007-03-13 08:58:06 · answer #2 · answered by California Street Cop 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
-Ask if your friend (insert cops name here) is working.
-Start naming all the cops you know.
-Mention how you once played golf with the chief and the head prosecutor.
-Ask the officer if he's a rookie.
-Come up with obscure sounding medical conditions that you claim will prevent you from doing the tests.
-"Do you know who I am?"
-"I pay your salary"
-"I'm not as think as you drunk I am"
2007-03-13 12:56:31 · answer #3 · answered by Mike 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, here's a couple that were used on me, just before I arrested the offenders.
"That shaved head would be sexy if your head didn't have that weird shape."
"Breath test!? You take it, your breath smells worse than mine."
"Hey, I got a badge just like that! You get your's out of a cereal box too?"
2007-03-13 03:02:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Here's a good one. Tell the rookie that his village called and they're looking for their idiot. That ought to make his trigger finger tingle.
2007-03-13 02:53:02 · answer #5 · answered by miri-miri-off-the-wall 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
say "**** you you ****ing pig! Burn in hell gestapo! you worthless government slave!"
2007-03-13 05:07:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋