What do You do In the Awkward Situation When you don't Know if Someone Is Male OR Female?

Question

Normally, I address everyone as Sir or Ma'am especially if they are older than I am. How am I suppose to dance round communication with someone if I honestly don't know if they are man or a woman? For instance if you are speaking on the telephone with someone and they have a high pitched voice, but isn't exactly feminine(I hope that makes sense). Even worse when you are talking face to face, but the person has unisex haircut, and is a little overweight so you really can't tell. I know ths question sounds a little silly, but I would appreciate serious answers also.

Answer 1

Be careful how you look at them. When I was a little girl, through no fault of my own, I looked like a boy. I was painfully aware that when first meeting me people would look at my face, then down to work out what gender I was. If I was wearing trousers or shorts I had no hope, it was very upsetting. You can't always tell by name. I have a girl's first name but Americans think its a man's name. This is not very useful to your situation but just saying be careful about it, try not to let it matter too much to you which gender they are.

Answer 2

That actually happened to me tonight! My daughter brought a friend from work home, then excused herself to make some phone calls. I was talking to her friend, having no clue as to whether this friend was male or female. My daughter did introduce me to this person, but the name was one I had never heard of before, so it didn't help me determine the gender of this person.

P.S. It turns out that the friend was a male--but the clothing he was wearing could have been worn by either males or females (actually it was a fast-food uniform). His hair was on the short side, and curly. He did not realize that I didn't know his gender--thankfully.

Answer 3

I remember writing away for a job last year and the person's name was Terry i automatically thought it was male as there was no MR/MRS on the advert so i wrote to a male and on getting the interview i found out it was actually a female i got the job though but sometimes you just don't know.

Answer 4

If you want to greet this 'unisex' looking person then introduce yourself politely and shake hands in a friendly gesture.

Then start an converstation and the person is bound to tell you her/his name.

I have met a few people who looked unisex and I never asked them what gender they were. Just introduced myself and during the converstation picked up clues. :-)

However do AVOID doing a Crocodile Dundee!! haha

Answer 5

If in doubt leave gender out and just say Excuse me or Have a nice day or etc. Don't add the Sir or Ma'am.

Answer 6

On the phone, just speak very politely but avoid using either Sir or Ma'am. Ask their name.
As for in person - I have no idea who you're hanging out with, but it shouldn't be that hard!

Answer 7

Me, what I do, is I try never ever to refer to a person by titles, but by their names. When a person tells me what their name is, that's how I address them. If a person tells me their name is Bob, that's how I adress them. If they tell me that their name is Mrs. Smith, that's how I'll address her. I let THEM be the one to tell me how they prefer for me to address them. That way I avoid it altogether.

In my opinion, anybody who addresses anybody as simply 'sir' or 'ma'am', is someone who fails to respect the other enough to know that other person's name.

Answer 8

It isn't all that important to know whether people are male or female in todays world. There is male, felmale and transgender and so many other categories for people to be labeled as. Just forget labels and treat people as individuals. You can't go wrong then.

Answer 9

I am with those who say to simply avoid the use of sir or madam, in person or on the phone. If you ask their name, that will probably resolve the issue.
Otherwise a pleasant voice gives the greatest courtesy and respect possible.

--That Cheeky Lad

Answer 10

I had a taxi driver a couple of weeks ago, and I really couldn't tell. SHE was slender and middle aged, she finally asked me if we had female taxi drivers in my country, or I never would have known. Really a unisex person!