Should I keep my mouth shut or stand up for myself?

Question

I work for a very small family run company. The owner is 75 and his daughter and son, both 50, are all my bosses and the only people I work with. The daughter, again, she is my boss, is pretty much the biggest b&*^% I've ever known, pretty heartless and bitter from all her experiences.She treats me like I'm an idiot, as she does EVERYONE. My self confidence has decreased very much since I started working there, bc she treats me like I'm just an idiot kid. She yells all day long and goes on and on about things that I think she needs to just get over. For example, how Oprah spent so much money on kids in Africa instead of our own country. She makes the work day MISERABLE because all she does is B*!@$. Not to mention she is killing my lungs from her chain smoking. I have a cold I cannot get over bc of it. She says things all the time that are VERY offensive. For example she gets VERY racial. Bottom line is, I don't know how to deal with it. Should I just stay quite or should I say somethi

There are some really good responses here that I'll definitely take to heart. I just figured out how to add this bc i got cut off at the end... The thing is that she is a b!@#$ but i know at heart she is a good person who is just battling her own issues right now. I'm just trying to not let her bitterness bring Me down. I quit my last job of 6 years bc the conditions were horrible, and I looked for a job with a better atmosphere. I ended up with this. So what someone said about never knowing what your next job will be like is definitely right on. It could be worse, you never know. I try to understand her, bitchiness and all, and not let it get to me. That's the best I think I can do until I graduate and get my degree and move on with my life. Thanks for the responses.

Answer 1

Hi! I saw answers given by my fellow yahoo users. But, i disagree with them. Quitting a job just because your boss or your superior is not kind enough to you is not a solution. Do you guarantee that the new job you are going to grab do not have such idiots there? No. You cannot. So, my suggestion to you my dear friend, first try to stay cool yourself by doing things that are pleasurable to you and then think about this matter. See what you can do to make them understand that you are also human being and you should be treated with respect. You exhaust all your options (not shouting at them or quarelling with them - those will makes things worse for you) to make sure that yes they cannot change. In such case, you have two options - one many a people do - listen with one ear and leave from the other (secret, i do the same) and keep yourself cool with other things like i said above and live a happy life. If you fail to implement this, then you should try to quit the current job. At least your efforts to change your boss and your efforts to keep yourself cool will certainly help in your next job where yu can, right from the beginning, give an impression of being a cool guy who can handle pressure in a positive way would help you gain good marks from your boss and I am damn sure that you can get over any kind of situation. If you run away at the first shot itself, you will not be happy anywhere as you dont know how to deal the things.

Best of luck

Answer 2

First I would stand up for yourself, second I would start looking for a new job before she kills you with that smoking, not just your lungs either, bladder cancer and others can be prevalent with second hand smoke.

Can you call the health department are there rules in your state or city about smoking in the work place? You should be able to complain anonymously. But get the hell out of there before you end up as bitter and miserable as they are!

If you decide to tape record her racist remarks and if there is harrassment going on don't give it to the cops, you need to contact the EEOC, it's a violation they will tell you if you have a case. www.eeoc.gov

Answer 3

I'm sorry for you. Between the woman's constant cigarette smoking and her ugly personality it won't be easy. First, speak to her about the smoking. Tell her that it is affecting your health and ask if she could smoke in another area or you may have to take a medical leave. If you can, take a little radio and play some soft music to tune her out. Depending on the type of work you do, you could wear a headset. I know it's a difficult situation but you have to stand up to her because she's a bully boss. Stay calm but state your facts clearly and be prepared for her response. If things don't change, and I believe they won't, you may have to seek employment elsewhere so you can be rid of that Jezebel.

Answer 4

First of all you need to ask yourself if this job is really worth it, personally no job is worth taking any amount of sh** from some dumb old c^nt, especially a racist dumb old c^nt, don't get me wrong, I respect my elders but I also believe that respect is earned and not given. If you really feel like you are being pushed into quitting your job, then you should try a few things and act as if you got nothing to lose. Heres an example. I had a boss just like yours, nag, nag, nag even if the sh** was her fault she would find some way to make it mine. So one day I decided I was going to quit, I made sure that I had an audience and when I had an audience, I purposely gave her something to bit(H about, and when she did I tore in to her like a fat kid tears into a bag of chips. It was a spewing volcano of insults and degrading comments that made her look like the dumbest bit(h in the world, when it was done she sat there with her jaw hanging to the floor. I expected to be fired but to my surprise I received an apology from the pig faced c^nt. I still quit the job, but the moral of the story is to go out with a bang and tell fukd up people how fkd up they are, believe me it does a lot for your self esteem.

Answer 5

Get another job and quit, like it's always that simple. She doesn't have any personal problems affecting you 'cus she thinks your an idiot, I swear to god. There might not be any way of reaching her except for an alaborate psychological trip that even you don't know is going on. How about bringing a coffee cup to work that says the king of bitchin', and don't try to quit because that isn't the answer.

Answer 6

As it is her choice to be mean and angry it is your choice to allow her to affect you in a negative way.She has no real control over you ..... only what you give her. Do yourself a favor and decide she can't get to you anymore. If you choose to continue to work there .... go to work with a smile on your face.You could try doing something exceptionally nice for her ..... like bring her flowers or something just out of the blue. In doing that it forces her to acknowledge you in a nicer way. I know it sounds crazy when you probably feel more like choking her but you would be surprised how well it works.The bottom line is you can't fight fire with fire so rise above her negativity and be nice. Strive to be better than she is so that you know you are not at fault . Who knows .... you might soften that cold, cold heart of hers ...lol.
Good luck and make choices you can feel good about : )

Answer 7

If you stay at this job you're in a no-win situation all the way around. If you speak up, you'll only succeed in firing up her wrath...she's already miserable AND she has authority over you and that is a recipe for disaster. Seriously...the second hand smoke issue alone is enough reason to bail. There's a BIG world out there and you don't have to put up with the SMALL people in it.

Answer 8

It doesn't really sound like you saying anything would make it better. If you do choose to say something I would just tell her that you really like your job and you like her as a person but that her complaining and rude attitude is really getting you down and that if the atmsophere doesn't change in your work place you will be forced to leave. If she values you as an employee she should try to change. If she doesn't then I say you move on and try a different job.

Answer 9

It's not likely you're going to change her behaviour, sounds like a pretty deep-rooted problem to me. I'm sorry you went through changing your job twice now, and yes a lot of bosses and managers can be nasty, there's something about those jobs that attracts powerhungry folks. But there *are* good managers out there; keep looking for those!

Answer 10

Darling dear in my own personal opinion you should
keep the blabber closed and say nothing
Just act like she does and fit in with them

Or plan on working some place else if you decide to open
that blabber you will never hear the end of it
for the rest of your life and take my advice say nothing