How do you deal with losing a loved one, who didn;t even know I loved them?

Answer 1

i'm so sorry that this had happened to you, and i guess i can relate to you in a way. the best thing to do is to focus on the good things and times that you've shared together, but please dont dwell on the past. it may even be a great idea to visit their grave periodically to clean up the area and just "be" with them. i'm sure whoever this loved one is, they'll be looking down upon you from heaven and know that you love them.

Answer 2

The dealing will obviously be with yourself. Sometimes inner problems are the most difficult to handle.

Once when an eight year-old from my son's third grade class died, he had the chickenpox, and wasn't able to attend the funeral. The next day I took him to the cemetery and told him he needed to tell her "goodbye." Even though he broke down and cried, he finally realized that she was dead and that he needed to ask for forgiveness from her for anything he may have done to make her upset while she was still alive.
The same principle applies in your situation, and you can do one of two things to work it out:

1) write the deceased person a letter, in which you explain your feelings towards them as well as apologize for anything you may have done to hurt their feelings. After you've written this letter, you will need to burn it (in a fireplace perhaps). Once you've burned the letter, it will leave a permanent place in your mind. This seems to be the best way to deal with situations where the person you need to square something with has already died.

2) go to the cemetery. Even though this person can no longer see or hear you because he/she is already dead, you need to speak to this person and tell him/her how you felt about him/her. You can also apologize there as well if you need to do so.
These two forms of leaving a message for someone who has died will give you a sense of peace as well as inner healing.
Good luck, and I am so sorry for your enormous loss.

Answer 3

I am so sorry for your loss. Losing someone is very difficult and sometimes we torture ourselves with the what if game, please don't do this you will only find it harder to recover. Chances are this person knew you cared for them deeply. Love doesn't have to be spoken it is felt. And the wonderfull thing is even when we lose someone we always have a chance to see them again if you believe in heaven and Jesus. I am a medium who is often contacted by the other side. I have done many readings and even though it was hard for me to believe, the readings were always right. I can't explain it, but your loved one knows how you feel. Talk to her. She is there to listen and she loves you too. God bless.

Answer 4

I felt exactly how you do ( I think) when my aunts ex husband died suddenly. I really hadn't seen much of him after their divorce, but I still called him uncle and loved him very much. When he died I was devastated, it was sudden, and I just really had wished that I had gone over to visit him, and had kept in touch. Death is a horrible and tough thing to deal with. I know that my uncle loved me, and he knew that I loved him. Just as your loved one knows that you loved them. It's true time will heal all wounds, spend time with close friends and family, true ones will want to offer a shoulder and give you support. Best wishes during this tough time.

Answer 5

I know what you mean. My mom has lived on the streets of Los Angeles for the last ten years and had a stroke last month. I really don't know how I will feel if she dies! When my dad got sick I did not get out of bed for two days & his death? Thank god for my family & hubby! Find a grief support group. They help alot. Check your local hospice they have them.

Answer 6

Regret as well as sorrow...never got to tell them? Very sad in deed. Perhaps going to their grave & "telling" the person will help put closer on that or tell someone close to you about your feelings. I cant imagine how hard it is for you. I can only offer my condolences to you. So sorry for your loss!