I just don't understand him. He's attended every outing I've been to, msgs me everytime I'm online, generally seems like he cares.. but he said that b/c he's trying to get his life together, he wants to still get to know me so that sometime down the road maybe something can happen btwn us. I can't deal with this... I just can't go 1/2 way into this relationship, it's starting to hurt. how do I deal with this?
2007-03-12 16:48:12 · 12 answers · asked by mellei 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am in the position of the guy here. There are girls recently in whom I have developed an interest but then had to back off when she wanted to get into a relationship. I'll do my best to explain this.
I am also going through a rough time and I need to prove to myself that I can get through it on my own. Relationships often give guys a big sense of security and make them feel safe, but that's not always healthy to seek shelter with someone else. Part of growing up requires some independence, and mature guys want to prove that to themselves.
They may also want to date around a bit and not just immediately dive head-first into a committed relationship to the first mutual interest they find.
You answered your own question. "I can't deal with this. I just can't go 1/2 way into this relationship." He probably likes you to a considerable degree, but he has been responsible enough to be honest about not wanting the relationship, so you have to be honest about that not being enough for you... and move on.
2007-03-12 16:54:53 · answer #1 · answered by Buying is Voting 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie I have been through the same thing and it was all new to me. Fact is there is no need to rush. To be with someone who genuinely wants to get to know you is a blessing ... BUT there are rules This person may still be dating other people. He has friends right? He doesn't sleep with them but he knew them before you right? Ok cool . You should see other people too and not consume yourself with a person who is not ready to commit. Don't sit around and wait for him to come around live your life not because he does it because in all honesty you are single and best believe this person is not sitting around. Stop including them in everything you do. Take a friend ...don't give him everything let him know by your actions that if he wants so much of your time he has to commit to it. Why commit if you get everything already. I don't know if you are having sex but if you are I would cut that out too personally...but i know how it is so at lease not every time he comes around....If he can't get with that he ain't the one for you ! Damn I should write a book
2007-03-12 17:07:26 · answer #2 · answered by Diva Dee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You never indicated the ages. However; I keep telling my boys to take time. Don't jump into things and get to know people before you get involved in a relationship. At the same time, not to string girls along; that they need to honest with them. That, if they are seeing two or three other girls as friends than they need to let each of them know. That who they would marry today is not the same person they would marry 5 years from now and 5 years the person they would marry is not the same person they would marry 10 years from now. That they need to know themselves before they can start to know someone else. So, maybe; you are dating one of my boys; or, I'm not the one telling their boys the same thing. I also tell my boys that if they can not commit that they should not expect a girl to commit also. Play the field; he will let you know when he is ready. It's his problem if your not available when he is ready to commit. Enjoy life.. LIVE!
2007-03-12 17:03:50 · answer #3 · answered by denfasr 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't think of he's enjoying stressful to get. he's quickly up ignoring you and then telling you he isn't involved. i think of this is a robust element you probably did not have intercourse with him, he's clearly not that super of a guy because of the fact he could not even hassle to text fabric you back any of those circumstances. You sound like a superb female who has values, so locate somebody else who shares them and rather cares for you. you've gotten sexual chemistry, yet intercourse is barely component of a relationship. you like somebody who does preserve you, and you deserve that. i think of you will desire to flow on. in case you nevertheless pursue this guy it does look desperate. good success
2016-12-18 12:14:59 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to tell him exactly how you feel. Basically he has to make a choice and if he can't you need to make it for him. If you don't want half a relationship then don't settle for one when you could have a complete relationship with someone else.
All the best
2007-03-12 16:53:25 · answer #5 · answered by Sara M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm in a similar situation as yours and i don't know what to do either... except, ur guy seems to be honest with you cuz he told u he's not ready... but the guy i'm "seeing", hasn't really told me what he's really thinking and i don't want to be the one asking... good luck!
2007-03-12 16:52:01 · answer #6 · answered by cutie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds like he likes playing games , let him know your serious and if he isnt then to stop leading you on. if it hurts its not worth it you deserve someone better , and that is the lamest excuse , ineed to get my life in order ,
2007-03-12 16:53:53 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
deal with it or step, you have to respect that. the only thing is is that he might not just be seeing you. i say let him be, don't let him have his cake and eat it, too.
2007-03-12 16:51:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow thts a hard one ill get back at you on this one
2007-03-12 16:51:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey he just wants to have his cake and eat it too.... he wants to have you and probably any other girl he wants also... he just doesnt want to "commit" to one person... i say you go out and have fun and enjoy life while your single... trust me!
2007-03-12 16:51:31 · answer #10 · answered by mony 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋