I have a month left & i realized very shortly this baby is going to become a reality. I am excited & nervous. My ex-MIL drives me crazy, I don't like her at all. She's very fake polite to me so i respond in the same fashion. I am no longer with her deadbeat son, but she is putting major pressure on me to be involved in my child's upbringing. I am not trying to exclude her from babies life despite my dislike for her, but i don't agree with a lot of her beliefs when it comes to kids. Her only child is 32 years old & thats a huge gap between kids in the 70's & babies now & he turned out horribly. she's a bigot, who believes in beatings, gossips about me & has a horrible attention span. her son brags about all the times he almost died as a child. I don't trust her one bit, I'm getting uncomfortable thinking about her holding my baby, & i know i'd never leave the baby in her care. what's a good way to handle potential problems with her. shes said already i can't wait to raise another child
2007-03-12 16:01:42 · 6 answers · asked by Aundry 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Be cery clear to her, but in a nice voice, yet firm. That this is your child and it will be raised on what you believe. This is her grandchild, NOT her child and she will not be raising it. She will be included in events that concern the child ( b-days, x-mass, sports ect.) But will not invade your space as being a parent.
2007-03-12 16:09:43 · answer #1 · answered by babyyapi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has no rights to your baby. I'd invite her over for birthdays, etc. just like you would for any other relative--recitals/concerts, etc. I'd also schedule time to visit her around the holidays (or let her come visit you). Don't feel pressured to let her watch your baby or stay with the baby. If I were you, I'd lay it on the line--she can either be involved and follow the rules that you set or she can have nothing to do with the child. Her son does, however, have rights to your child. He can fight you for custody (the most he would probably get is 50%). This would more than likely mean that your mother in law would be taking care of the baby if he is as horrible as you say he is. I'd be as nice as possible to her and don't put the father's name on the birth certificate--they'd need a court order to get DNA from the baby. Or, get him to sign away his rights to the baby. Good luck to you with this crazy woman and her idiotic son! Enjoy the new baby and make sure to trust your instincts!
2007-03-12 23:12:12 · answer #2 · answered by Sit'nTeach'nNanny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the mother and you can deny her access to your child. I would tell her all the terrible things your ex husband told you about her and use those as your reasons for her not being able to care for the child. Other than that, your Ex might just might let her take care of your child and I am not sure what you can do about that, other than seek legal advice. Tough situation to be in, but you need to stand your ground on what is best for this child.
Good luck, take care, and congrats on the baby.
2007-03-12 23:08:18 · answer #3 · answered by dragonfly7887 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're going to have to set some firm boundaries with this woman with consequences. If she does not follow your rules with baby then you will have to limit access immediately. Make it clear to her that it is NOT her job to raise this child but yours and you will be making the decisions regarding the raising of the child and you expect your decisions to be abided by. Period. I agree that I would NEVER leave the child alone with this woman. She sounds toxic. If she can't control her tongue around the child then I would not allow her access to the child at all. But she deserves a chance, since she is the grandmother. Make it clear that this is her chance and she is going to have to earn your trust for continued access to her grandchild.
Good luck!
2007-03-12 23:09:30 · answer #4 · answered by LindaLou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like its time to admit to that bogus affair ( you know the one that never happened). Tell your ex mil your baby's got another daddy, that oughta get her to run for the hills, oh im sure there will be oodles more gossip, but atleast she will leave you and the baby alone ;)
2007-03-13 00:29:17 · answer #5 · answered by derangdlilmonkey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move far far away!
I don't know if she has any rights to the child and hopefully her son won't bother you either. You don't need this headache
2007-03-12 23:07:12 · answer #6 · answered by Jennifer L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋