Parents issues?

Question

Questions for all parents.

Why do parents restrict their children do what they ( the perents) do?

Paraphrase, parents will tell their kids not to use the phone after certain hours, but at the same time parents are using the phone unlimitedly... Another suspect is that parents make it clear that their kids MUST not smoke, while they ( the parents) smoke. Parents are very concerned about their kids being bibulous, but at the same time they're ( the parents) found to be bibulous, too.

Parents restrict their kids from playing the radio at certain volume, but why it is ok for parents to play the radio at whatever volume they wish to?

It is ok for parents to use expletives, but not for their kids...

I understand parents own the house. Yes, I agree with that, but kids never asked their parents to bring them into their homes. Synonymously, it was the parents decision to HAVE kids, not the kids decision to be conceived. So it is a 50/50 rights here.

So parents MUST do the things that they want their kids to do... Do you agree with me?

Answer 1

No, when you pay your own bills, you can make the decisions. Your parents pay for the phone; your parents pay for the electricity to run the stereo, etc.

Answer 2

Oh, give me a break!

You are assuming that 1) the child has as much experience in the world as the parents do, and 2) that the child is capable of the kind of decision-making that the parents, ostensibly, are. If kids came out of the womb with fully-formed consciousnesses and our societal knowledge was genetically passed down to them, then your argument MIGHT hold some weight. As it stands, the point you are trying to make (that parents should aspire to the standard they want their children to live) is being derivated by the very examples you give.

1) Kids aren't to use the phone after certain hours because it is a child's responsibility to learn and grow--and studies have proven that a certain amount of sleep is required for both. To have a child calling friends at 2am is not only annoying to the parents, who are earning the money to pay for said child's telecommunicative jaunts, but potentially harmful to the child's physical and mental well-being.

2) Smoking is bad; we all know it. Unfortunately, it's also very accessible and expensive. Yes, it would behoove the parents to quit smoking; however, they are in the throes of addiction and are quite aware that they are providing a bad example, so they exhort their children not to repeat the same mistake.

3) Same goes for drinking. It is assumed that adults can indulge in potentially hazardous activities and maintain the self-control to stop themselves before they put themselves or others in danger. However, children rarely have that kind of self-control; essentially, they are little walking ids until they develop a conscience around the age of 10 and even then, it can take up to 20 years to fully develop it. Children will keep doing whatever makes them feel good until it either makes them sick, they get sick of doing it, or it kills them. They don't know HOW to stop.

As for expletives, I have never told my son not to use them; I have taught them that certain situations call for better language than the gutter-talk I hurl at idiotic drivers when I'm on the road.

And no offense, but the idea that children don't ask to be brought into the world is obtuse; while it is true in the literal sense, would you exist to ask such a question (and support it so badly) if your parents hadn't made the decision to copulate in order to prolong the species? Your society vs. biology argument is specious and holier than swiss cheese.

Answer 3

I believe that parents should try to avoid hypocrisy and set a good example, but no, I don't really agree with you. First of all, I don't want my kids drinking because it's illegal. I'm over 21, therefore I am entitled to have a drink occasionally. (which is now very rarely.) I'm a grown-up. They are children. By aging, I have earned the right to swear (which I try not to do in the presence of my son), the right to talk on the phone after 10 pm if I wish (and if by some miracle I am still awake), and the other rights that come with adulthood. Children need rules and boundaries, and it is our job as parents to define those rules, as our parents did for us.

Our years on this planet have made us, "older and wiser", and sometimes we actually do know better. That is why we don't want our kids on the phone till 1 am (we know the will be a nightmare to wake in the morning for school, and will be grumpy and tired all day). That is why we don't want our kids getting drunk - because I remember the things I did when I drank and wish they didn't have to make those mistakes, or do those stupid things. It is our job to protect them, to a degree, from the dangers of the world. Rules help us to do that. So, while it may seem hugely unfair to a kid...sometimes life just isn't fair.

Answer 4

Parents are adults and authority figures. Their main job in life is to PROTECT their child, so if they tell you not to smoke, it is because smoking is bad for you. The reason they smoke but tell you not to is because they have had many more years of experiences in their lives than you have, they smoke KNOWING that it is bad for them and when you get older and wiser, you will be able to make that decision for yourself once you are aware that smoking or whatever else is bad for you. The bottom line is: they are your parents, ALL they want to do is protect you and do what is best for you. BELIEVE ME when you get their age and you have children you will understand completely why they have the rules they have, I know because I keep telling mine "Oh, now I know why you didn't want me to do this or that"! Be young, obey them, and don't try to grow up too fast, cuz when your an adult you'd give anything to be a kid again.

Answer 5

Yes sometimes as parents we do what we tell our children not to do. However get over it !!!

Do you pay the rent or house payments?
Do you pay for the phones?
Do you pay any household bills?

Im sure the answer to those are no..... when you grow up you will have the same rules as your parents did. They have alot of responsibility and The only job you have is to go to school and follow the rules.

Your parents have rules they have to follow with their jobs. Thats called life.

Yes the parents have the kids. Being the child means your parents decide what they feel is best for you. Parents shouldnt smoke, and deep down they know they shouldnt. They do not want you to follow in the same bad habits they did. Its not good for your health.

Answer 6

I used to feel the way you did until I had my own children. Unfortunately, the trouble your having exists in every family in the world. You won't win so just deal with it! Yes, it's your parents house and they make the rules. No, you didn't ask to be born but do these few rules truly make you wish you weren't? It sounds like you think your parents should indulge your every wish just because you gave them the privilege of becomming parents! Keep in mind that your parents are trying to instill good values in you and rules help accomplish that. I do agree that parents shouldn't use foul language or smoke or do drugs then preach to their children not to do it, but it's normal for parents to want a better life for their children than the life they had, and you will thank them someday. Sorry if it wasn't the response you were hoping for but keep in mind, it'll be your turn to make the rules someday for your own children. Wouldn't you want the best for them? Wouldn't you want them to benefit from the hard lessons you learned through mistakes?

Answer 7

Because they are the parents. There is no 50/50 split of rights here. There is no explanation needing to be given. Kids can't drink because it is against the law. Parents say don't smoke because they don't want you to screw up like they did (learn from my mistakes.) You will never understand until you have your own children. Then again maybe you'll be one of those "Friends first" parents who allows their child to do what ever when ever.

Children will be rebellious, fight the rules, fight the law. When they get caught and in trouble they cry to their parents to rescue them.

Answer 8

When a parent has an addiction, they should be clear they don't want their kid to suffer the same addiction, and that's why the 'double standard.' (but, good luck with that one...)

Parents can use the phone unlimitedly because children have a greater need for sleep, and need help balancing their responsibilities.

If parents curse and don't want their kids to curse, maybe they don't think their kid will have the sense not to curse around someone who would be offended.

On the whole, parents should not be hypocrites. However, with responsibility comes privilege.

Answer 9

No it's not 50/50 rights, unless the kids help pay for mortgage, the food, the electric bill, the water bill, clothes, and all the other stuff that adults pay for. Kids do not have the same rights as adults, because they do not have as many responsibilities as the adults.

Answer 10

I agree with you. If a parent wants their child to do what they say they should be a positive role-model. But at the same time, they aren't trying to control you in the way you think they are. They are trying to protect you. They are adults and yourself just a child. They don't want you to make the same mistakes they themselves made. They want you to be healthier, smarter, and more understanding of the decisions you make. They love you, About the phone, well, they do pay the bills. One day sit down with your parents and let them add up all their bills and you'll see how MUCH money it takes to pay all of them. Then maybe you'll be more understanding about there requests. When you're an adult and have children, you'll understand. But being an adult about it now, might open there eyes and make them realize that you are growing into an adult.

Answer 11

finished disclosure first: i'm no longer a unmarried determine. That stated, i'm large acquaintances with a small form of unmarried mums. Their appropriate subject, palms down, is money. Exes they could handle. dating they could handle. artwork they could guard. Tantrums are a bite of cake. yet loss of money could make even the main loving kinfolk an extremely puzzling place. Having to tell your 6 twelve months previous that they could't have new footwear is the toughest ingredient many unmarried mums could desire to do.