Was I molested?

Question

When I was 13 my family friend came over to visit. to make a long story short, he was much stronger than me although he was the same age as me and started to kiss me and tryied to get me to kiss him back. He was touching my chest and legs and kissing my arms. I was scared but he acted like it wasn't a big deal although i was crying. It still wasn't a big deal to him the next day at school but in a hick town news spreads fast and everyone else thought it was big. I never told my mom because i was scared and i felt like it was partly my fault. I felt like a tramp, like i let him do it even though i said no. i don't like the fact that i think about it everyday and i don't really know what happened to me. PLEASE someone help!

Answer 1

Hmmm, this is a very touchy subject to discuss. First, you were not at fault. This was a complete invasion of personal space and it doesn't matter how old you were.

Secondly, I don't know how old you are now, but the longer you wait to tell the truth and see that you were a complete victim, it will only get harder to deal with and carry on to the man of your dreams and your children.

This stuff can and usually does cause long term effects on women so please, the sooner you speak to someone about it, the sooner you can get on with your future.

You have already started, here, today and now. This is a large step to even ask, especially in a public forum but here, you will get much support and great honesty.

TIP: Go to the nearest large town and find where meetings for sexually abused are and attend one to get a feel and you will see that many women have much in common with you and maybe you can make a friend you can confide in that will be there for you on a regular basis. Sometimes it helps to have someone who has gone through the same situation so you can relate when speaking.

Remember, you are a survivor!! Peace be with you.

Answer 2

Not only were you molested, that could have been considered, attempted rape. I feel very angry when someone tries to take over another person. You were scared that he might have hurt you, and I know all about small hick towns,and how stupid rumors get around. If there is any way at all that you can enroll in a martial art class, or womens self defense class, if you work hard in these classes, you will begin to build up confidence, strength, and power. You will know how to handle a situation like the one you had, but if it ever happens again, yell ,scream, kick and scratch him so people know you have been attacked. and he will be off to jail. I taught Karate in Calif. and the girls in our class were awesome. Believe me , they could easily hold their own with the boys, when it came time to spar, but everything in our school was controlled, so that no one got hurt. It was a learning session, and the chance to see your fears, and learn to deal with them. I wish you the best of luck on this , and remember, the most important person, is you, so take care........

Answer 3

As you tell it, yes, you were molested. It wasn't rape, thank goodness, and you weren't willing, you were overpowered. You have nothing to feel ashamed of because you did what you could. That's easy to say, but you're still trying to deal with it. There are a few things you can do; you can take a strength training course-if you're still in school, you might talk to your PE teacher about it. You might take a course in self-defense at the "Y" or through your local police department--many local, county, and some state police offer these as a community service. If there is one, you might take a judo, tai-kwan-do, or karate class. Don't feel guilty, just try to be better prepared so it can't happen again. And tell your parents, they've probably noticed a change in your behavior and are worried, but waiting for you to tell them what happened. There's probably nothing they can do about the guy but ban him from the house, but they may be extremely supportive of whatever you want to do to keep it from happening again.

Answer 4

You were sexually assaulted. NO means NO!!

You should talk to a therapist about this. Dont hold it in and move on with your life.

I know how you feel BELIEVE ME.

I will tell yuo this though. If you are determined to forget about this and make the best of what you have in life and what you can achieve, and this will all be old news from the past.

YOU ARE WORTH IT

Answer 5

something like this happened to me during my sophmore year of highschool. it was a nightmare and to make matters worse, my boyfriend dumped me because he said i had cheated on him and everyone thought of me as a whore because the guy had told everyone it was mutual. But to answer your question, yes you were assaulted and no dont EVER think it was your fault. Erase that notion from your mind because you were in no way in control of that situation. As soon as i told myself that it wasnt my fault, i was able to move on.
I'm pulling for you! I hope everything gets better but mostly i hope you take my advice. Don't let it ruin your life!

Answer 6

yes it sounds like you were. I think you should talk to someone about it so you can move on with your life the longer you hold on to it the harder it will be to let go and it wasn't your fault if you told him no then obviously his parents didn't teach him what no meant but maybe you should tell your parents but if you feel like you can't do find someone else to talk to so you can move on. Good luck

Answer 7

sorry to hear that happened to you ,
you should tell somebody to get it off your chest if you dont want to tell your mom tell someone else but you really need to deal with that as that is assult. dont let that sitution control your life , you need to deal with it

Answer 8

No way man! don't even think its your fault.
And I agree you should see a therapist.

<3

Answer 9

u were DEFENITLY molested girl.
get help.
fast.... i know its hard....really i do.
feel free to email me.
talk to someone, ur best friend.

im sooo sry u were...!

Answer 10

email me: [e-mail], we'll talk! i'm really sorry that happened!