My daughter is 37 and won't speak to me. I told her best friend something that I thought was known by all, but I was wrong. I apologized but she refuses to acknowledge me at all. We haven't spoken in 6 months. I want to talk to her but she turns her head when she sees me. I don't want to cause a scene so I just go on. It is so painful for me. I am 54 and have two other daughters that she is snubbing also. What should I do?
2007-03-12 15:42:19 · 9 answers · asked by gramsysk52 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
this is very a tough situation...I think you should first ask her best friend to talk to her. I don't think ur daughter is giving you the deserved respect cuz she cannot just ignore you when she sees you.
How old is your second daughter? well, try to spend more time with her to build closer relationship.
Hope that helps :)
2007-03-12 15:49:48 · answer #1 · answered by meme 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your daughter has no other means to punish you for your betrayal. She is really sticking it to you where you live, isn't she :(
I think you are both wrong.
that said.
I know you love her very much and I know you really regret what you did. Is this the only time you have gossiped about her? I hope so. You need to get a counselor and after a few visits invite her to go with you so she can see you have made every effort to heal this between the two of you.If she won't go she is just enjoying punishing you and when she needs you and only you. (daughters are like that I have 5) she will be back.
good luck and keep your chin up .moms screw up sometimes too.
2007-03-12 23:24:13 · answer #2 · answered by to tell ya the truth........... 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Heartbreaking. Has your daughter always been like this? That sounds pretty typical of a teenager, but she is a grown adult and needs to act like it. I would write her a letter stating once again that you are trully sorry for what you said, that it was a mistake, but that you don't know what else you can do. Tell her you love her, but that if she continues to act so immaturely, that you are not going to play into her immature act and that you are moving on. Tell her you love her, and hope she accepts your aplogy, but that what she is doing to you and her sisters is mean and immature and that you have to move on with your life. Hopefully she'll come around. I had a similar incident with my mom. She deliberately told one of our family members something that I didn't ever want anyone to know. I was mad. I told her I could never tell her anything ever again. I was 21 when that happened. My mom was very sorry for what she did, and I love her and didn't want to hurt her by punishing her for something she already felt bad about. So I got over it and told her I forgave her. Hopefully your daughter will do the same, but that tends to be her personality, then you really do need to just tell her you love her, you're sorry, you hope she'll forgive you, and that you are moving on, becaue your life is important too. You can't let her tear you apart like that.
2007-03-12 22:55:56 · answer #3 · answered by Kim 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am 37 so let me try to handle this from her perspective and from God's perspective.
Now, my mother is manipulative and a self seeking person and I am sure you are not that way, but it does make it hard on me, and I still speak to her, but not often because she drains me.
Your daughter is wanting to be able to handle her on affairs and she may feel like you are medling to much even if you are are really not. You have done the right thing by apologizing the rest is going to be up to her.
We ladies in our thirties tend to be a bit stubborn from time to time. She probably feels really bad right now but is unable to make amends because of her on pride. This is very hard, but the thing that finely worked with me, was ignoring my behavior and leaving me alone and letting me return on my on.
This happened with my adoptive mother. She loved me very much, but sometimes I just wanted to be so independant and not wanting her to put so much input in my life. One time I got really mad at her because she wanted to tell me how to discipline my child. I did not speak to her for almost a year. She aplogized and when she saw me in a store, I was down right nasty to her. After a while someone told her to let me be. I started missing her, and my son wanted to see her. I finely came back and accepted her apology and apologized as well. We were real good friends until the day she died I still miss her so much.
Mothers and daughters have been this way for centuries, but I am learning by watching and experancing, and I do know that for some reason the harder you try and be nicer and happier, and all those good things, it is like an attention getter for your daughter, she is not done pouting so to speak and for some reason she is getting satisfaction out of seeing you hurt. I know you are hurt but don't act hurt, and try to go on with your life. It is the same thing you did when she was a child but with a different method. Do wave when you see her, but don't look like you are in pain when she blows you off. She will come around, just give her some time.
You handled the last situation good, keep going, I am praying.
2007-03-12 23:00:20 · answer #4 · answered by trhwsh 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should try sending her a letter and tell her your side of the story. You can't force her to make up with you if she doesn't want to. But hopefully with a little gentle nudging from you she will realize how much you love her and she'll come around all in good time.
I spent some time once where I didn't speak to my mom over "irreconcilable differences." But I eventually realized that I couldn't live without her in my life and I came around too.
2007-03-12 23:19:00 · answer #5 · answered by starlight_940 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
write her a letter EVERY DAY about how sorry you are and give examples of stuff she did when she was younger and when You had to forgive her and She had to get your trust back. She should realize that she only has one mother who has put up with alot more than you should have. Maybe getting things into perspective from your point of view will help. Good luck
2007-03-12 23:50:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When trust is lost, its takes time to get back to normal. She will realise over a period of time. I think till then just wait. Let ur other daughter(s) explain to her when they get a chance
2007-03-12 23:24:47 · answer #7 · answered by spice 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How do you stop talking to your mom? Wow. I say write her a letter and see if she comes around. If she doesn't she'll regret it later in life. Come on, a mistake is a mistake.
2007-03-13 00:40:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you have ried to talk to her. I have seen the things that she has done and she does nt relise that everything she is mad about is all in public records so there was nothing wrong.
2007-03-12 23:54:10 · answer #9 · answered by eagle_vision96 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋