Im a single mom who likes my friend. He is a sweet, virtuous virgin. He likes me too! But how will this work?

Question

A few months ago I became really good friends with this guy. We are both starting to get really close. I started developing this crush on him and just learned that he likes me just as much. The catch is, he's 20 yrs old and a virgin; Im 23 with a 2 yr old son. We have very different religious beliefs; we also work at the same job in the same department...but I make twice his salary(no Im not his boss). Yesterday he tried to kiss me, but I couldn't, even though I wanted to. He said that he was very attracted to me. At first I saw him as a "kid brother", now I see a really hot guy who is nice and sweet.
He's still a virgin. I refuse to be sexually active also. I've been this way for about 2 years, but he is religious and a "good guy", very virtuous. But, Im older, highly educated/higher paid, and a single mother.
I cant stop thinking about him, but how could we be a couple...is he the type of guy I should be going for? Or is HE too good for me and should date a virgin?

Answer 1

Hello Shenji,
it is just a matter of realising that love always finds a way, but sometimes you have to either give it a gentle tug or a great big push, as it will all depend, on what you are both really looking for, Don't allow religion to enter into a relationship, there is enough trouble in this world over religious beliefs to such and extent, that people are actually losing their lives because of those differences, and this is a terrible waste of life when we all know and realise that it is love that conquers all......
Now, you will have to be aware, as you already are, that there are other differences, to be sorted out, but edven thes are easily managed, when you consider that your age difference is negligable, and your son is young enough to accept him into his life too. The virtues that seem to be ruling over this young mans life are already showing signs of slipping to one side, as you say he has already started to want to kiss you, well, that's a good thing for you both to consider a starting out point, your body isn't worn out for the birth of just one child. you see him now as a hot guy, and you are never going to know until you test the temperature of that heat, Virgin he might be, but he seems keen on you being the one to relieve him and his 'hot' body of all that pent-up emotion, and remember, the first time you take him into yourself, he wouldn't last a minute, so you and he are going to have to be patient with each other until he gets it right and pleases you, and himself, beyond your wildest hopes and dreams. So, you will both have to keep on practising until you reach the point of perfection, this could lead to the greatest love in your young lives.
So, if you can't stop thinking about him, does this mean you are thinking about him when you are alone in your own comfortable room at night too? 'course it does, well, he is alone too, so do something about it and take him into your heart properly,m an fall in love with him, even though you work in the same work place, if you don't grab him, and remember, he is unspoilt, some other woman will, go get him, and talk things over with him, tell him you want to love him, yopu must do, you have developed this crush on him, well realise you crush, and his, and sit close to him, right in front of him, and come onto him like there's no use waiting any longer, and give him your sexiest kiss, let him touch you if he wants to, plenty of eye contact needed here, and tell him what you like to do, and how you like to feel, and show him how you can make him feel too, but go easy, don't want to spill him with the first kiss do you? even if you have been sexually inactive for 2 years, it's time to wake up to the fact that you want to restart your emotional engine again, but do take care and precautions, no need for a mistake just yet, he is going to find being a Daddy to a child not his yet, a bit perculiar, but he will handle it all ok, and he will handle you with all the care you teach him to as well, it will take a little time, but just go with the flow of things, and everything will be beautiful for you both, so get rid of that crush, and bring in the reallity of a love you are both seeking, the first time you take him inside you, will be positively wonderful, and you will see it was definitely well worth building up the crush you had, he will love you so very much for such a long time over all the years ahead, and ignore all those in your workplace, it's you and your young man that matters. I wish you much happiness in you futures together, Bless You Both.....'bye.....Tony M

Answer 2

Hi!

First off, nobody's 'too good' for you! Don't play yourself that way! Just because you've had sex, doesn't mean you're going to be bad for him!

Also, why does it matter what you earn or how educated you are? Why does it matter that you're 23 and he's 20? If he knows you have a little boy, and he's still interested, why does it matter?

My boyfriend is 36, I'm 22. He went to private school and I went to a comp. He lives in Surrey, I live in Birmingham. He earns £45k, I earn £5k! We've been together for three brilliant years! My point is, nothing matters other than the way you feel about each other.

There's no reason he should date anyone other than you. The virginity issue needn't be a problem between you. I'm not sure why you mention that he is religious - are you saying that
you're frightened of 'corrupting' him?

As long as you both want the same thing, there is no problem. If you sense that he's really attached to you, but you just want some fun, then yes, you should tread carefully.

Be open with him and tell him that you are attracted to him. If you are just after some fun, make sure he knows it. As long as you're clear about everything, I don't see the problem!

xx Emmie

Answer 3

Seems you are clear minded but tempted for some fun and happiness. The age gap is pretty non-existant. Ok you earn more but I'm not sure if you feel he may have a problem with that, or whether you do as being of superior pay-grade.

What is the worse that can happen ? You can have a little fun (safely) if you want and see how things pan out. Although office relationships, if not serious, can be a bit awkward afterwards. I can't comment on different religious beliefs as I'm an atheist who doesn't understand how religion should seperate people.

Answer 4

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Answer 5

Ok i am a virgin in my thirties. First of all a guy isnt better or worse then you because hes a virgin, but u need to think long and hard about the religious aspect of this. Remember if and when u 2 get really close and decide to tie the knot im very very sure he would want a girl that would want to go to church with him every sunday and a girl who loves god. I would suggest that u try going to church with him to get a taste of what it is like for a guy with a strong faith in god to see if you are open to increasing your faith.

While i would love to meet a virgin lady, because she would best understand what its like to stay a virgin in this day and age, the most important part of that is that you both can love each other.A person can always regain a part of their virginity
by practicing waiting for the their soulmate. This way you learn how to value sex and understand that it is for more than just enjoying urself physically.

If your ok with opening up to the idea of god and religion in a marriage id say go for it:)

Answer 6

Go 4 it U have to follow ur heart coz that's the only thing that we feel with more then life; + i think u/ we as humans can over come the Little stuff. Age has no baring here my wife and i r 15 yrs apart. Just take it slow let him know everything keeping the communications channel open.
Three yrs isn't much older; how dose he get along with ur son?
What dose he c himself doing in the near future? Those things r much more important; 4 both of u + if hes really in to u u can help guide him in both ur futures.

Answer 7

That's up to him. Most male virgins want an experienced woman. You should never feel like someone is too good for you. Look at what you've accomplished, a single mom, good job, decent education. Just make sure he's serious before you guys go too far, because once his "virtue" is gone, well, it's gone.

Answer 8

just take it slow...who cares who makes the most money...date and see if you guys can get along together..he is young and could still go to school and pursue his goals ....ask him what his plans are for his future...and go from there

Answer 9

if you really like each other then go for it!!!
opposites attract!!
if hes great with your son then thats defo the bigger bonus!!
good luck!! x x x x

Answer 10

you are thinking about this way too much! just go for it!