How do new moms handle staying home?

Question

Ok so I have a four month old daughter(whom i love to death). The thing is I have never stayed at home before, I have worked since I was 16.And now I have to but its really hard for me. Any advice for me.

Answer 1

These may sounds like simple things, but they do make a difference:
-If you can, take a shower and get dressed every day. You don't have to do up your hair or put on a face of makeup, but a little blush and a real outfit can make you feel more like a human after months of wearing pajamas and sweats.
-Try to get out of the house once a day, or at least every other day. There are local storytimes at lots of libraries (even a 4 month old will get a kick out of watching the other kids), go to a museum, or the park. Take a walk. Somedays I'm excited to go to the grocery store just to get out of the house. It makes the day go a whole lot faster and it's good to get them used to going out and doing things at a young age. (I took my son in my Baby Bjorn everywhere - he loved it, and I found it easier than carting around that heavy carseat)
-Hang out with other moms. It seems like becoming a new parent can be very isolating. I moved to a new area before becoming a single parent and didn't know anybody. I did some searching on the internet and found some local moms groups that I joined. Now we get together frequently. Check out www.meetup.com for groups near you. Just type in your zip and scroll down for lists of parenting groups. Some are free to join, others are a small fee, like five dollars.
-Try to get out of the house once in a while without your daughter. Go out with friends, have a drink, go on a date, get your nails done, whatever. I was so excited for my first night out without my son after I had him, and I found myself missing him so much more than I thought I would! I couldn't wait to get back! (Plus I was so engorged from not feeding for so long!). Being away from them for awhile makes you appreciate so much more the time you have with them.
-Don't feel bad about leaving them on their own for a few minutes to play, while you grab a cup of coffee or read the front page of the paper. As long as she's fed, changed, and rested, just put her on her playmat, or on the floor with some toys around her, and she'll entertain herself for a few minutes. You'll be glad you did this later, so you can actually leave the room without causing a major meltdown!

Sorry for the long answer. Hope this helps! Enjoy her babyhood - it just goes so fast. It seems like just yesterday my little one was coming home from the hospital, and now he's running all over the place! Good luck to you!

Answer 2

I am about the opposite of you I had a baby when I was 16 and have been a stay at home mom ever since, but whether you start out being a stay at home mom, or you put yourself into it, it is hard. Get yourself involved in a mommy/baby group. If you research it you will find how much fun it can be for you and the baby. As she grows it will become a thing she looks forward to. It can be something you look forward to also. I wouldn't try the whole looking at the same four walls day in and day out it is very hard. Even if you don't do the mommy/baby group you can still go to the park, go for walks, and small things like that because staying cooped up for to long isn't good for anybody!

Answer 3

Most working moms who then stay home with the little ones go through the same thing. Try to make time for you during your day and week. Remember to have lunch with friends or just go get your hair done. While at home, you're usually busy with the baby or housework. When that's done, read books about a subject that interests you. Or take an online course. Try your hand at a hobby you've wanted to try. Put together a scrapbook for your baby. Take pictures of your baby. Don't forget date night if you are married or have a significant other. Remind them you still love them and want them. It seems overwhelming at first, but if you think about things you've wanted to try I"m sure you'll keep busy. I'm mom to 3 and after working since I was 14....it was hard. I had worked over 20 yrs when I stayed home with my middle and youngest daughter.

Answer 4

I remember feeling incredibly restless in the early stay-home days. I had been a faux-feminist for awhile, thinking I had to work to be a good woman, and then I quickly learned I could not be a good mom if I wasn't actually with my child (duh!)

Truthfully, I read a lot of stuff about the NICHD studies that show how dramatically horrible day care is for kids. I read stuff on attachment by Ainsworth and Bowlby and learned how terrible separating from mommy is for children.

I nursed on demand, and nursing provides a wonderful hormone which provides a feeling of well-being - oxytocin, so that helped a lot.

Naturalchild.org has lots of great articles on what kids really need.

When I understood that what I was doing was so incredibly important to my child's emotional well being, I became far less restless. Now, I never have time for everything I want to do, and I realize that the identity that comes from working is not 'the real world' as those there like to pretend, but learning how to be with yourself and really really present with your child is far more important and far more real world than role playing in a cubby somewhere.

Find ways to incorporate her into things you like. This spring and summer, you'll be able to garden without her running off. Or, get out and walk around and meet other moms of young kids. Join a mom's club.

Get a sling and take your daughter to things you like - for me, it was museums, parks, galleries. Have a ball. There is absolutely nothing like living life at the pace of a child.

Answer 5

learn to do things in and around the home, you'll adapt to your new situation, the bright side is that you are going to be at home with your child and will see and witness every major milestone, from your daughters first smiles, the first time she crawls, walks, stands, says "mama" right down to waving her off to her first day a playgroup/nursery then school. These are all precious times that you can never get back if they are missed and at least if at home, you get the front row seat, so cherish it....you can always return to work when they get older....but if you feel trapped or a bit suffocated in the house, then a simple trip to the shops or the park or joining a toddler group can help take the (same routine syndrome) out of a day.
Hope this helps x

Answer 6

First of all, as a mother of two kids under four let me tell you, the first six months is the hardest! It gets easier and more fun.
You know, I love my children so much...but sometimes I go a little nutty being home with them all day, too. When I start to feel a little isolated, what has helped me is getting everyone out of the house somewhat early in the day (before lunch and naps preferably). Sometimes we go the the park, sometimes we just go to the mall and get Starbucks (cocoa for the kids)...Sometimes I think it's important to just get out of the house.

Another thing I've done that's been really great is reach out to my friend who also has a young one at home. We get together once a week with all the kids at one of our houses, this has been such a blessing for both of us I think. Hang in there, I think many of us feel this way occasionally, and new motherhood is an immense adjustment. You'll do great.

Answer 7

I have been there!! It takes a while to get used to staying home if you are used to working but it will get better!! First of all the first 6 months or so you feel out of sorts anyway. I have 3 kids and it always feels SO odd each time you have a new baby. The love is definately there but you still have to establish a routine and get used to your "new life". What happened to me was I realized one day that I felt normal again. You just get used to it and it feels right again.

You might also join some moms groups in your area. It helps to get out and socialize with others in your same situation. What really helped me was going out and doing something once a week or so at might when my husband is home to take over.
Hang in there...normalcy will return (just in a different form)

Answer 8

At four months old, it's hard to occupy your time when you are a stay-at-home mom. In a couple of years, you'll be able to take him/her to the park, play ball, teach her hopscotch, go to t-ball games, etc. But for now, what do you do with all your free time. There's only so many times you can clean your house until you start reminding yourself of Joan Clever.

I read several books about early childhood development. Children at that age can take in so much information. There are so many things you can do with your child to help their motor skills, social skills, etc. If you only knew what types of things to try. Get down on the floor and play patty cake, the itsy bitsy spider, point to her belly, her nose, her eyes. Eventually, she'll be able to point to her own belly when you say "where's your belly" before she can even talk. It'll be fun to try and get your kid to do all the things that most kids can't master until their much older. If you have the time, consistency is the key.

But while she is sleeping, you can try scrapbooking, walking the mall with her or try baby yoga (it's an exercise class that can interact with your infant while you are doing it). There's also alot of play groups of moms just like you trying to find things to do as well. It's fun to get together with other mom, drink coffee and just talk about everything.

Hope this helps.

Answer 9

Yes, I am a stay at home mom of two daughters...one is 20 months and the other is 5 months...needless to say, I am busy!

My husband has his own business and I was working up until I had my children. I have found it difficult lately because we have given up one income for me to stay at home with my children.

I have just recently become a real estate agent. I work strictly on my time, from home. The office I work for does not require me to work any time in the actual office. I have a cell phone and whenever I have free time (nights, weekends, hubby's day off) I am able to do my thing. It's a great way to make lots of money and work on YOUR time.

Hope that helps! Good luck with whatever you decide!

Answer 10

I completely understand, after my son was born I became a stay at home mom. I still feel a little crazy sometimes because I miss being part of the "adult world" but I love being home with my son. You should check to see if there are any playgroups in your area, even though your daughter is only four months old, it will give you a chance to be around other moms