My girlfriend came over and after being asked a question, replied jokingly with some sarcasm and stuck her tongue out playfully. I thought nothing of it at all, but apprently it upset my mother. I still think it's ridiculous, but is there a way I can hint at it to prevent future encounters? (the environment in my house is a lot more strict than with my girlfriend's family.)
2007-03-12 14:54:06 · 17 answers · asked by X16 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There isn't really a way that would make her happy... Best way to tell her is when she's in a good mood. Make sure you side with her also, don't just say that she's being so disrespectful, etc. Be gentle, I guess....
2007-03-12 14:57:28 · answer #1 · answered by wall_flower 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough situation, but you should be able to talk to her about this.
First, make it clear to her that there was no way for her to understand that it would have upset your mom, and that it was an understandable faux pas.
Then, tell her how things are at your house, that while you enjoy the freedom and playfulness that you share with her family, the atmosphere at your parent's house is a bit more reserved.
Then, lead by example.....meaning, be sure that when you are at your parent's house, that you try to set the tone of the conversations by asking questions directly to your girlfriend that will help her redeem herself.
You know, like feeding an actress lines, you could start a conversation, let your girlfriend throw out something that will impress your parents (Don't overdo it, just talk about something that will make your girlfriend shine), and then let the parents join the conversation.
It's a bit of a dance, but hopefully things will work out, and your girlfriend will genuinely feel more comfortable with your parents.
Good luck.
2007-03-12 22:03:22 · answer #2 · answered by Surfer Dad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should always be honest in a relationship. If your girlfriend has any feelings towards you she will respect you and listen to what you have to say.
Tactfully, explain how your family is more strict compared to hers and although she may have been playing around with your mom; that your mom took it serious. That will allow her to understand where you are coming from and will prevent more embarrassment later on.
In the same way, explain to your mom that she was only joking and that in her family it is how they joke with each other. It wasn't meant to harm anyone. I believe that your mom will understand and will drop the whole thing altogether. If your mom is leaning this way, ask her to talk with your girlfriend to straighten things out (Hint: You don't have to be in the same room when this happens). If not, then you need to talk with your mom and find out what is going on.
I hope I have been helpful.
2007-03-12 22:04:40 · answer #3 · answered by Matthew D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to let her know right off the back! It's okay to joke around, etc. But once you cross the line then we'll have problems. You shouldn't be with a girl who you feel is disrespectful towards your mom. Just let her know she needs to show alil' more respect. And if she agrees with you, then afterwards she needs to go and apologize to your mom. If not, she will continue to do this, which will cause lots of problems for your relationship in the future.
2007-03-12 22:01:52 · answer #4 · answered by ajane. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't appear that this girl has learned socially acceptable manners. You need to tell her straight up that her behavior was disrespectful to your mother. She obviously doesn't understand that it comes across that way to others and that is something that she needs to understand.
If she doesn't care - then that tells you a LOT about what sort of person she is.......
There is a time and place for everything and when meeting new people, especially elders or people in some sort of authority position, then respectful behavior is absolutely a necessity.
2007-03-12 22:02:09 · answer #5 · answered by Road Warrior 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
think about it this way. do you really want to be with someone that would disrespect your mother? come on, later on in life if you are still with her, what will be next? who will be next. she may end up putting you in an embarrassing situation one day, maybe more than one. you dont want to live like that or ever begin to live like that. dont start out your young life with people that could possibly be toxic. you can mention the encounter to your girlfriend, and i would. if she blows it off like its no big deal.......you will know then, that you've made a bad judgement call when it comes to this girlfriend. and im positive if you dump her, you will be saving yourself a lot of grief and heartache and anxiety for years to come.
2007-03-12 22:05:31 · answer #6 · answered by hammy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think Sweet Love gave you the correct answer. Girlfriends are very easy to find but a mother there is only one and should be respected no matter what.
2007-03-12 22:01:39 · answer #7 · answered by teresita 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her point blank that your mother felt insulted by her sarcastic answer and her sticking her tongue out. At her house it may all be done kiddingly, but with strangers especially if they are adults and you are a teenager, you should show respect. MANNERS 101
2007-03-12 22:03:34 · answer #8 · answered by don n 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your girlfriend shouldn't behave that way in front of your mother. You want to show your mom that you are a good decision maker and that goes for the ladies that you date. Explain to your girlfriend that things aren't as loose at your house as hers, so please be respectful and a bit more formal with your parents. Maybe as time goes by, she can show her true colors a bit more brightly. Moms are tough cookies sometimes.
2007-03-12 21:58:24 · answer #9 · answered by ladypoohbear1975 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't bother hinting - say it outright.
Most married women have a bumpy relationship
with their mother-in-laws, and it usually starts pre-marriage
so don't be surprised.
You may need to stop bad habits on both sides or
get crushed in the middle!
2007-03-12 21:57:36 · answer #10 · answered by Elana 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋