Ive been having a really bad problem...it might be retarded to some, and immature, but im grown. I am a christian woman, and im with a christian man. He really loves me, he is everytrhing ive wanted...but im not attracted to him... i dno waht to do. If he was Gods plan, i would have been atrracted.
I justthink im sticking wit him, cause hes a rlly good guy, and not alot oiut there. If u were in this problem, waht would u do?
Any Good Christian advicce?
2007-03-12 14:40:49 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
First off I'm gonna tell you that I dont know what God has planned for you, but I can tell you what God doesnt want you to do and you can find the answer to that in your bible.
All them thoughts are of satan. Being a Christian I'm assuming you read your bible and know what God says about divorce. Their is nothing in your marriage that God can't fix. Why dont you go to your pastor and speak to him about it. I'm sure he'd have great advice for you and scripture to back it up.
2007-03-12 14:50:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look. I am not a Christian anymore, but I work with families in need, including counseling families.
You are NOT inmature, much less retarded, and I hope you don't consider yourself as such, not now, not ever. You do have a problem that requires serious counseling.
Since you are a Christian, I believe that you should talk to your Church minister (pastor, or priest) about it. If you don't feel at ease talking to your Church leader about the issues that you present, then you should speak to a secular Marriage Counselor.
Remember that iIt is not fair for you (nor for the guy) to live a lie. Speak to a counselor, whether it is a religious counselor or secular marriage counselor, but do so quickly. And remember, it is normal to have doubts about a relationship.
Pray to your God and trust Him with all your heart. He will point you to the right direction where to find the help you need.
2007-03-12 22:07:43 · answer #2 · answered by David G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the main question would be, "Do you love him?"
I noticed you said that he loves you, and that he's everything you've ever wanted, but you didn't say you love him.
How long have you been with this man? Sometimes, even if physical attraction is not there, the love will grow until you wake up one day, and suddenly realize that you're completely head over heels for him. Regardless of what he looks like. And a lot of times, you'll find something attractive about him that you never noticed before. Whether it be his eyes, his smile, or even just his personality that will win you over and you realize that that's all the attraction you need.
I'd say, really ponder on whether or not you love him, and whether you think you could love him and be attracted to him, and maybe you'll realize that you really do want to be with him, and not with anyone else.
If you think it won't work in the end, there's no reason to keep hanging onto him and "sticking" with him, if you really have no intentions of loving him back. It will just hurt you both in the end, and deprive both of you from really meeting your soul mates. But I definitely think you should give it a good try first and not give up so easily. Maybe try and overcome the physical aspect of it, and love him for who he is, not for what he looks like. ;-)
2007-03-12 21:52:30 · answer #3 · answered by fragileglimpse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say, but you have slightly contradicted yourself. You say that he is everything that you want, but youre not attracted to him. This makes me feel that hes not really everything you want, because you want a guy who's good-looking. Im a guy, so Im giving you this from a different perspective, which is very helpful sometimes. Maybe im not like most guys but I would hate to find out that a lovely lady was staying with me when she didnt love me if I loved her. I would be crushed yes, but for things to work out, there needs to be love on BOTH sides. The mental connection is always the most important, but there also HAS to be pyhsical attraction, this is not concieded or anything, thats just the way it is. My advice is. Dont stay with a guy just because hes a nice guy, stay with him because you LOVE him, and if you dont, then dont decieve him or yourself, or you might end up in a very unhappy position ten times worse down the road. I realize this is not Christian advice, but it is advice none-the-less. I hope you take it to heart.
-Brandon-
2007-03-12 21:51:40 · answer #4 · answered by Brandon B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Bible says that if you do not love him, the comapssionate thing is to give him a chance to find the "right" one and to give you the same chance.
Being a Christian is miserable enough, what with all the sacrifices and having to avoid the logic of science and history and philosophy.
There is no question that the loving thing to do, while you both have a chance, is to leave him - let the chips fall where they may and start over!
2007-03-12 21:52:55 · answer #5 · answered by John Galt 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have tried doing things right and you didn't end up with someone you really love or feel love for.
Do you really know who he is? Does he really know who you are. You may have to take the lead on this, Many guys are nice but not very open about their feelings.
Those who are very righteous can have trouble opening up to others because they are afraid of evil that lurks within. If he is open to visiting with a minister who has experience with and is good at marriage counseling, please start there. I will pray for you.
2007-03-12 21:55:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say if you are married. If you are then you should consider joint and separate counseling. If you are not, you might want to ask him to give you some distance for a while until you've had a chance to spend time with God. Just because he appears to be what you've always wanted doesn't mean he's God's will for your life. God will make it clear but it will take time and letting yourself relax enough to hear from Him. There is no reason you have to be with this man if your not convinced it's God's will.
2007-03-12 21:49:49 · answer #7 · answered by kaehya2003 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you are not totally over heels in love with this person you need to summon up the courage and tell him so. be calm, serene and truthful when you talk with him. try your best not to get angry and start and arguement. if it starts to get heated end the conversation and set it aside. it is better to be truthful to the both of you.
i know how hard that could be, been there and done that myself and it caused way more grief and heartache then it would of if i had ended the relationship before we married and had children.
if i had to do it all over again--i would still have had my children but i wouldn't have married their father.
i hope that you do the right thing for him and for yourself.
blessings to you.
2007-03-12 22:05:48 · answer #8 · answered by polgara922 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you say you're "with a Christian man" what do you mean? I hope you're not living together, which would not be right.
So, he's a good guy, but you're not in love with him. What is it you don't like about him? His appearance? Or is he just boring?
I don't think the Lord would expect you to marry someone you're not in love with, even if he is in love with you.
So, I think you should tell him, gently, that you'd like to start seeing other men.
2007-03-12 21:55:37 · answer #9 · answered by David S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not married, let him go. God will eventually lead you to the right person. In the mean time, you are preventing him from moving on and being with a woman who really loves him.
If you are married, pray and pray and pray some more. And go to marriage counselling.
2007-03-12 21:47:47 · answer #10 · answered by Laura H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋