I have been with this boy for a year and 5 months. ok today i finally told him that there was no way i was going to lose my virginity right now ,because i don't think i'm ready for it yet.So when i told him he gets quiet, then he asked me whould i mind if he had sex with other girls (yeah) so then later he says i'm going to talk to you later but usally he say he loves me even when he was mad as ever, but this time he did not say it. But for some reason i felt like alive and free. i think that if having sex is what he wants and all then we don't need to be together because he is not getting what he needs and is not satisfied(sp) and he will cheat ,so i thought it would be better to tell him and what ever happens happens.But we haven't broken up or nothing so what do you think i should.(someone please real advice)
2007-03-12 14:24:22 · 22 answers · asked by Lovely cryz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I respect you for your decision to hold on to your decision and stand up for yourself. I think u made the right choice for you and he probably respects your decision too but its hard for him because he has been waiting for u for a long time. He is upset no doubt about that if he always says he loves u and this time he didnt. Just like u have to figure out what to do so does he and he probably does want to go his own way which would be best so he doesnt cheat on u like u said but it would not be right for him to come right out and say that to u cause then u would feel like he never cared and that is all he wanted. If the break up eventually comes dont look at it like he never cared but just as like u said, he is not getting what he needs and just that he doesnt want to end up cheating on u. Brave girl i applaud u! And good luck with whatever happens...Hopefully he feels he can stay with u no matter what. Just ask him what does he think u two should do...
2007-03-12 14:32:51 · answer #1 · answered by JAY 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Teenage boys and men in their 20's can't seem to help but think about sex non stop. Whether they are "nice" or scum, this is true. The difference is whether they are selfish or not. Whether they have any self control or not. Whether they have had a male role model in their life who taught them how to treat a woman. If your man is selfish and lacks self control he probably has never had anyone demonstrate the way a real man behaves. Sadly, if this is the case he will not likely change. It soulds like you have enough self respect to demand these qualities from any man that you become serious about. Remember this isn't just about sex, this is an indicator of the character of this man. Demand better. Go to college get a degree. Find a church and learn more about what you should expect from a man. Someday, you'll meet a man who knows that women are a gift that is to be cherished, but it's not going to be now. Get your mind off of men/boys and onto your studies and where you are going in life.
2007-03-12 22:02:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he truly loves you, he would be more than willing to wait. Do not feel pressure to just have sex, this is a personal choice of yours and if if you feel the time is not right, then you are right period. This is a decision you can never take back.
Never compromise your principals and live by your values. Sex is just that, sex.
When you feel the time is right you will know.
If all your boy friend wants is to have sex with you or anyone else, that should tell you what he is after, now you have to ask yourself, is he doing this already?
you already have answered the question, your level headed and smart, you will do the right thing.
Peace
2007-03-12 21:44:51 · answer #3 · answered by nmp948 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right hunnie, firstly WELL DONE for telling your boyfriend how you feel. It is hard for us girls to turn around and say we are not ready but you did the right thing.
If he truly cared about you he would have turned around and said "Ok babe that's fine I am happy to wait until you are ready" Im sorry to say it but it's true..
Then to turn around and say would you mind if he slept with other girls! NO WAY that is the most STUPID inconsiderate thing to say EVER.
He didn't stop to think how that question would hurt you and make you feel.
If it dosen't feel right then the time isn't right.
you will know when you are ready and you shouldnt give away your innocence unless you are totally ready too, or you will regret it for the rest of your life.
I did :( I wish I had been strong like you and said NO and now I have met Mr right and I wish I had waited to share that special moment with him.
You need to say to your man that he hurt you with his thoughtless comments and that you are not sorry for being honest with him, your virginity is important and if he cannot respect you enough to wait then im sorry to say but this isn't the right person for you.
Move on and let him go..from his attitude I think you are right..though you probably dont want to hear it he seems the kind of guy to just walk right into some other (STUPID) girls bed without considering you.
YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE
RESPECT youself and be strong.
Well done and be proud you are one of the few girls that dosent just sleep with anyone and that you are a better person then he will ever be xxx feel free to send me a message if ya need to xxx
2007-03-12 21:39:23 · answer #4 · answered by kaytee576 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my god please do not even consider having sex just to make him happy. He obviously does not respect your decision that YOU are not ready. Stay the way you are till you are do not let him pressure yiu into anything. and as for him saying he will have sex with other girls is just so so wrong he does not love you sorry but wake up and smell the coffee!!!!!!!! on top of this he probably has already cheated.
Do not at all be concerned if you break up he is a selfish inconsiderate jerk .......Move on and stay yourself untill you are truly ready and sure that whom you loose your virginity to is the right one .
2007-03-12 21:36:05 · answer #5 · answered by littlemisssaigon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he asked if he can have sex with othe rgirls thats just a massive worry ( at least to me ) so my thought is he is been a little child and crying cause he isnt getting his way he needs to respect your values and how you feel otherwise i wouldnt want to stay with someone like that, you need to feel secure in a relation ship, think is this just a bump int the relationship do you want to spend the rest of yoru life with him or is this just a relationship where you dont have all the right feelings and you both know it wont last. talk to him be honest with yourself and make your own mind up
2007-03-12 21:31:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl let him go. Let the dog go back to his dog house! Wow...it seems like he was trying to make you jealous so that you would give into sex. If I were you I wouldn't tell him I love him either. Act real funny with him. Start being busy. Find other stuff to do with your time and see what happens. Hey and just know that if any guy would treat you like that then he doesn't deserve any of your time! Be smart and listen to the song called S.E.X. by Lyfe Jennings!
2007-03-12 21:29:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He should be able to respect your wishes and if not that the least he could do was NOT say anything. If you guys are in a relationship for that long than he should know not to ask if he can cheat on you. If I were you I would talk to him about how I feel and if that doesn't work then you should dump him!
2007-03-12 21:29:52 · answer #8 · answered by *~*Alyssa*~* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see why you're still with this guy!!!! Just leave him and let him do whatever if that is what all he wants. Why would you want to be with a person who simply places all the value of his relationship on one thing? And why would u share him with other women? Just say goodbye and live ur life, woman!!!!!
2007-03-12 21:29:36 · answer #9 · answered by curious 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wish some of you people would state your age. I do not know if you are 12 or 18. It makes a big difference in answering your question.
2007-03-12 21:28:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋