this is not meant to offend anyone... if you are offended by anything that is said here i am sorry but i was just curious what your favorite blond jokes are!!!! so go on... what are they?
2007-03-12 14:07:50 · 16 answers · asked by little missy--->♥ 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Q: What do blondes and turtles have in common?
A: When they are on their backs they are screwed.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: The mosquito stops sucking after you smack it.
Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"
A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"
Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing?
A: She was run over by the zambonis machine
Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A1: She'd just dyed her hair.
A2: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.
Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.
A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over her. The blonde says,
1. "Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would've hit me right in the face!!!"
2. "Good thing that cows don't fly."
There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it." I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.
I told my blonde girlfriend that I was going skeet shooting.
She told me she didn't know how to cook them.
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie."
The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"
Q: Did you hear about the blonde skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!
Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?
A: "Why, I just love nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?"
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.
Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.
Q: How does a blonde kill a worm?
A: She burys it.
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were both killed by a train.
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been sighted. Submitted by: Bob Lanier
A blonde opened a box of Cheerios® and exclaimed "LOOK! A box of donut seeds!
2007-03-12 15:13:08 · answer #1 · answered by ♥ Jennie ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
and if this affends anyone thered are a freakin retard
2007-03-12 14:12:24 · answer #2 · answered by Ronnie 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
A blond is cutting square potato cubes, while her boyfriend wants to take a drink and notices an empty bottle in the fridge. He asks what the empty bottle is doing in there, at which the blond replies: that's for when the guests don't want to drink.
2007-03-12 14:13:50 · answer #3 · answered by inesp01 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
yet another blond humorous tale. A blond replaced into asking asked next time once you fry an egg attempt taking the shells off. HMMM, the blond spoke back, yet you do no longer could desire to take the shells off the egss once you boil them. What do me recommend i've got no longer an education? I handed grade 5!!!! i do no longer choose one i'm too clever.
2016-10-02 00:47:13 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the difference between a Blond and a Stealth Bomber?
Nothing. They both have a black box!!!
ONE MORE:
A blond had a shirt that read, T.G.I.F.! Her friend say's, "Oh, Thank God It's Friday,huh?"
The blond replies, "Uh, I thought it meant, Titz Go In Front!"
2007-03-12 14:14:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter."
***************
Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children?
She heard that one out of every four children born in the world was Chinese.
***************
Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?
There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.
*****************
2007-03-12 14:13:02 · answer #6 · answered by Melissa 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
a ventriloquist and his puppet are on stage performing.the puppet tells a blond joke and a blond women in the audience stands up and says '' hey that's really offensive, not all blonds are as dumb as those jokes say!"
the ventriloquist hurries to apologize but the women stops him and says '' hey you stay out of it , i'm talking to that little rude guy on your lap!"
2007-03-12 14:25:30 · answer #7 · answered by no day but today 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
One where the blonde is knitting and driving and a police man comes. He says " pull over" and she says " no sweater."
The one where she is driving and she has a monkey in her car. The police tells her that she needs to take it to the zoo. She says "I did and I took it to disney land "
2007-03-12 14:26:15 · answer #8 · answered by lavender tots 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A blonde and a dude were in an elevator. The Blonde goes T.G.I.F. the man goes S.H.I.T. She goes T.G.I.F. and the guy again goes S.H.I.T. She finally says T.G.I.F. Thank God ITs FRiday and the guy goes S.H.I.T. Sorry Honey ITs THursday!
2007-03-12 14:45:55 · answer #9 · answered by sydsoccer15 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have many favorites one of them is a blond was afraid of horses one day she decided to face her fears and ride a horse she was on the horse she stated screaming GET ME OFF I WANT OFF RIGHT NOW AHHHHHHHHHHHH then the nice wal- mart worker kindly unpluged the mechanical horse
2007-03-12 14:28:17 · answer #10 · answered by musicsweetie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋