Interracial Relationships?

Question

ok my boyfriend and I both love each other more than life its self, but im white and he's black..the problem is that my parents are the most racist people anyone could ever know. they'd never go for it, and they found out last april and dont trust me. we still see each other all the time we just have to hide. im almost out of high school what do i do? leave with the love of my life and be happy or respect my parents and find a white guy thatll never take his place and make them happy, please help..

Answer 1

Aww, I'm sorry you're going through this and I simpathize for you.

I myself went through a similar situation like yours when I was in highschool. I even began to dislike my parents because I felt like they didn't want me to be happy, since my bf at the time was the only person who made me smile.

The thing is, you do have to follow your heart, but still respect the wishes of your parents. I even had my closest friends against me at the time telling me not to be with my guy.. hopefully you atleast have their support.

Basically, I listened to them and I broke up with him. I was crushed. I cried for ever it seemed, but you see, I had to let him go.. I not only made my parents and friends happy by hurting myself, but at the same time I was testing the guy I knew loved me.

Have you ever heard the expression; "if you love something, let it go... if it comes back to you then you know it's yours, and if it doesn't then it never was"

I let him go. My parents and friends were happy and yes, I was hurt. I did develope a better relationship with my parents though, and now my mother and I are best friends.

For 3 years we stayed apart and both dated other people, but we stayed friends for the most part.

We both seen other people so we knew what we wanted in a person and we realized that we were what eachother wanted.

Soon enough, he came back to me... that's how I know he was the one.

I was then ready to fight for him when it came to my parents. It was much easier than before though because I was then older and my parents knew he was the one who made me happy. I'm sure if your case ends up like mine, you're parents will turn around because of course they want their child to be happy.

Even though we both went through a heart ache, we did what we had to do and now we're still together. :)

I hope my story can help you decide on what to do. Its up to you.. You have to listen to your heart sweetie.

Goodluck & Godbless.

Answer 2

Why would you 'leave with the love of your life' when you are not even out of high school yet? Maybe the problem is that your parents have higher hopes for you - they may realize (rightly) that you need some career training or college and a solid career in order to be able to solidly contribute to the family I'm thinking you hope to have someday. Maybe this guy's problem is not PRIMARILY that he is black but that he doesn't have great job prospects, nor do you.
It's amazing how things can turn around when they realize you both respect education and want to have that security. If it is the case that neither of you do and he doesn't, especially, they may see you as an unwed mother in the future, unable to break up with the guy and unable to support your children.
I don't consider this racist - there are very few people who are entirely free of some racism - but something that would be remedied by this guy having high goals for himself and you.
Is it so hard to start to look at it from your parent's point of view? They see bills and housing and a lack of medical insurance in your future. They think you see mom and dad taking care of your problems. It scares them. I'd be scared too if that is the case!

Answer 3

There are going to be extra problems due to cultural differences above the usual problems. With that said, disapproving parents add to even more problems. Remember that if and when he dumps you or you him, and you are no longer an "idem" that your parents will still be your parents. My problem with the whole situation is that skin color/race prejudices should be a thing of the past. If they don't like this guy because of his character or something that would be different. I say leave your parents house and date him. Do not bring him home if it's going to cause problems. I would let your boyfriend prove them wrong over and over again simply by making you happy. Be aware that there are many bigots out there of ALL races and colors that may try to make life miserable for you. Good luck & best wishes

Answer 4

One in two marriages end in divorce. You are still in high school. You cannot live on minimum wage. Poverty will make you resent each other. If you truly love each other concentrate on making choices that will finance your life together. The reason kids don't go their separate ways when they are school aged and choose instead to stay in relationships at the expense of their continued education, is because they are not committed to each other enough and they know devided interests and temptations will break them up. So they either get married early or worse have babies first. Then the infidelity, the resentment and violence begins. All at the infant's and parent's expense.

Answer 5

Listen to your parents for right now. When you out on your own paying your own bills, buying your own food, you can have all the jungle fever you want. Relationships are hard enough being both of the same culture/race or whatever if you wanna add more drama to it go right on ahead. Relationships are HARD remember that.

Answer 6

If u love him, nothing ur parent say will matter and if u leave him for a white guy, u will not be happy because the love is not there

Answer 7

Once you're 18 and out of H.S, your parents have no right to tell you who to date. They can advise you of course, but they can't control you. If your parents love you, they should eventually come around.
You shouldn't break up with him because others say so. You'll always wonder, till your grave, "WHAT IF"? No matter how good the next guy is. Better to stick it out and even if it goes foul in the end for internal reasons (and I hope not), at least you won't have doubts.

Answer 8

Thanks guys. 7 years later and more wiser and I don't regret any decisions I've made since. Thanks for the feedback

Answer 9

it's your life and your decision not theirs, over time they may accept him because they know it makes you happy...you can also talk to them about it if you think the place will never be filled

Answer 10

LOVE HIM GIRL THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WIT IT, I HAVE LOVED OUTSIDE MY RACE THE ENTIRETY OF MY DATING/MARRIED LIFE. YOU HAVE TO LIVE FOR YOU, MOM AND DAD WILL COME ALONG IF THIS IS A TRUE RELATIONSHIP AND IF THEY DO NOT, THEN THEY WILL HAVE THERE DAY OF RECKONING. LOVE ALL COLORS OF PEOPLE NO MATTER WHAT.