Hello,
I have been trying to forgive someone whom i loved, and irrespective of compromising all things, she did not trust me. I started loving her when she told me that she has been raped by her own cousin, and she loves me a lot. And i wanted to help her, and eventually i had given up all my opportunities, and family for her, and now she says that i am not her type, and i am orthodox. Every moment i remember her name, i feel very angry, and regret on why i trusted her on that big thing...
Should i forgive her, or should i tell the universe about her secret..will that give me peace, or will it give for a mement and it will be the same....i really feel very angry for trusting her...what do you think should i forgive her????
2007-03-12 12:54:50 · 13 answers · asked by milindsona 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You should forgive her because ultimately you are the only one in control of your anger and it will make you bitter. Being angry with someone has no effect on them at all, it just festers inside of you so even if all you do is forgive her silently to yourself then your life will be much better.
A person who has been abused has suffered not only sexually but emotionally they need to learn to build trust with someone. Alot of times this person will push away those people who cares most for them out of fear. Even though you love her, if you came on strong to her this may have scared her...you cannot help her through this, she needs to seek help, she needs to learn that not all people are abusers...all you can do is step back and let her know you are there if she needs you and be a friend. I know its hard to be a friend to someone you love more than a friend but the best relationships are those that have grown out of love.
Good luck!
2007-03-12 13:07:47 · answer #1 · answered by Kellie~Baby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well- you can choose to either forgive her and move on- or you can stay angry at her, and stoop to her level by telling everyone about the secret she trusted you with. If you are going to be mad about how she broke your trust, then it wouldnt be right to break her trust either...what kind of example would that be??
As much as it sucks to have someone treat you like that....the only way you will really be able to move on is if you forgive her, or at least try to be understanding as to why she did what she did. put yourself in her shoes, and maybe she didnt mean to hurt you....relationships are hard....and you have to be with the right person, or you will never be happy. So- i guess maybe it seemed like you were the right person at first...but maybe the more she got to know you, the more she realized she was looking for something a little different. Try not to take it personal, and just work on finding a way to put the anger aside and move on. You will feel better about yourself in the long run if you decide to be the "better person" in this situation.
2007-03-12 20:03:35 · answer #2 · answered by corinthian615 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Telling the universe about her secret? Don't you think that is cruel? She trusted you. And i know you are hurt right now, but hurting her back (and more) will not take your pain away and one day you will regret hurting someone like that.
One cannot control our feelings, so if she doesn't love you anymore, what can she do?
You on the other hand, can control the things that come out of your mouth.
2007-03-12 20:01:33 · answer #3 · answered by Edith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a little wary because you say you fell in love with her when she told you about the rape. I think you more accurately realized that you didn't want to see her hurt and that you care for her on some level. Do not mistake empathy for romantic love.
I'm sorry that she rejected you, and that you thought it was okay to give up your life for a girl. I think you need to work toward forgiving her, whether she knows it or not. I think you shouldn't be friends with people who hurt you.
2007-03-12 19:59:02 · answer #4 · answered by Ask Aunt Amy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, actually sounds like someone I know... Just talk to her. Don't get angry though. Tell her how you feel. I would forgive her. Definately. But I wouldn't necessarily expect her to take you back right away. Give it time. She might not be the one. I hope this helps
nicole
2007-03-12 19:58:59 · answer #5 · answered by nicole 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to accept that this was a very tough lesson that you learned from and move on with your life, by telling the universe it is just going to cause you to have more anger inside of you and not let you trust other woman. Accept it was a very unlucky experience in your life and move on.
2007-03-12 20:01:29 · answer #6 · answered by Tigerluvr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Despite what anyone says you will never be able to forgive her, but dont put her secret out there or that will make you just as small as she is! Show her she's not your life she'll come back, if it's meant to be, if not that just leaves room for somebody better to come along and make you happier than she did!!!
2007-03-12 20:00:35 · answer #7 · answered by chelsmat2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As Jesus forgives you unconditionally, you should forgive her unconditionally. Both for her benefit and your own. This kind of anger will grow, not be relieved, if you feed it.
Let it go. Give it to God. Do good to someone who has done you wrong. THEN you're orthodox in deed.
2007-03-12 20:03:49 · answer #8 · answered by "Ski" 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is always best to forgive.. no matter what and dont exspect anything back. And it doesnt show much love doing her dirty laundery out here in cyber space that would be very dis respectful and hurtful. Pray before you act or speak.
2007-03-12 20:00:24 · answer #9 · answered by shakannaglory 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just forgive her and forget her. That way, you will have complete peace of mind.
2007-03-12 19:59:19 · answer #10 · answered by Belen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋