Liverpool Football Club are on the look out for some new talent and send a scout to Bosnia where they find a fantastic new player and bring him back with them. In his first game, he scores a hat-trick and the fans love him. When he gets home he decides to phone his mum and gives her the good news, but when she answers she immediately starts crying.
When he asks what the matter is, she replies, "Well, this morning your sister was raped by a street gang, then your little brother was savaged by wild dogs while playing football in the street. After that your dad was shot by a sniper and i was mugged and beaten up while shopping."
The guy is gobsmacked. "Mum, what can I say? I'm so sorry."
"Sorry?!" she shouts. "It's your fault we moved to Liverpool.
2007-03-12 12:49:45 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Thats an oldie but a goldie.
2007-03-12 13:05:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Pope is visiting Florida, and he goes down to see the fishermen at work down by Key West. He sees two men out on the water in a little aluminium job, wearing red shirts with Carlsberg on the chest, and he realises they're Liverpool supporters, and he sees that they are trying to lift another fellow out of the water as he's being attacked by a shark. One of the Pool boys picks up a club and hits the shark, killing it, they then drag both the victim and the shark aboard the boat. They get back to shore, where the Pope blesses them for saving their fellow man, to which one of them says..."Save him? You're having laugh, he's a Manure fan, we was using him as bait..."
2007-03-12 20:02:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not so funny I live in good old Liverpool, your all just jealous cause we are five times champions.
A liver bird upon my chest they are 11 of Rafa's best, we win it in the Liverpool way we'll be victorious again UP THE REDS. x
2007-03-12 20:02:05 · answer #3 · answered by pixie 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
lol gr8
west hams trophy room has been burgled,a police spokesman said "be on the lookout for a man with a roll of carpet under his arm .....lol
back to the fizzy pop league
2007-03-12 20:34:41 · answer #4 · answered by thewokinn 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Watch out ther may be scouse reporter about.
2007-03-12 20:00:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Excellent FUNNY FUNNY
2007-03-13 14:59:47 · answer #6 · answered by HELEND 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Someone has really been dragging ye olde ancient joke book tonight !!!
A good job most of them are funny.....:o)
2007-03-12 19:54:09 · answer #7 · answered by dteacher1uk 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahaha, I love it!! Go Man Utd!!
2007-03-12 19:52:18 · answer #8 · answered by Claire H 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
tee hee hehehehehehehehehe ;o]
2007-03-12 20:06:49 · answer #9 · answered by franja 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
clare h has never heard a joke been rejuvenated b4 !!.......altogether....ahhhhhhhh !
2007-03-12 19:56:47 · answer #10 · answered by naplio 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋