2007-03-12 12:33:46 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference ➔ Quotations
I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!
I'm tired of being a wannabe league bowler...I wanna be a league bowler.
That's it, you people have stood in my way long enough, I'm going to clown college!
When I look at the smiles on the kids faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.
I don't need to be careful, I have a gun!
Kids, I'm only gonna say this once : it's not okay to lose...
You have to stop blaming yourself, do it once and move on...
Homer simpson.
Man who wait for roast duck to fly in his mouth must wait very, very long time.
Chinese proverb
“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying
“Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.”
Dogs have Owners, Cats have Staff.”
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried”
“Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night
It's relaxing to go out with my ex-wife because she already knows I'm an idiot.”
“Hippies, hippies... they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and play frisbee!”
Eric Cartman quotes
“Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words”
“You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.”
“Every time you see a beautiful woman, just remember, somebody got tired of her
“I got up one morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't find my socks." She said, "They're behind the couch." And they were!”
Stephen Wright
“Every woman needs one man in her life who is strong and responsible. Given this security, she can proceed to do what she really wants to do-fall in love with men who are weak and irresponsible
If you can't answer a man's arguments, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.”
2007-03-16 01:17:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else.
Will Rogers
Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.
-- Sam Ewing
2007-03-12 22:15:22 · answer #2 · answered by istitch2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer."
-- Woody Allen
"Even a clock that does not work is right twice a day."
-- Polish Proverb
"The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."
-- Lily Tomlin
"I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming."
-- Jimmy Carter
"A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.'
The doctor says, 'It's old age.'
The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.'
The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'"
-- Tommy Cooper
"I ain't saying the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance...she leaned over and pushed me."
-- Anonymous
"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."
-- Tommy Cooper
2007-03-13 01:06:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life isn't a garden, so you can stop being such a hoe lol I like that one
People are like slinkies basically useless and yet its so amusing to watch them fall down a flight of stairs
don't worry about the world coming to an end today its already tomorrow in australia
when I said I'd hit that I meant with a car
and thats about it lol
2007-03-15 14:34:18 · answer #4 · answered by Jeanie Rae saves the day <3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.
Ed Gardner
2007-03-13 23:45:14 · answer #5 · answered by Funky girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
Robert McCloskey quotes
2007-03-12 19:53:58 · answer #6 · answered by connie b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loads of the damned things. I remember them just after the exactly right time, when to say it would make me look stupid.
2007-03-12 19:43:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
disappointment=wouldn't that tear the fork out of your best nightie
everything is OK=the jobs right mate the jobs right
saying=I'm not as think as you drunk i am.
2007-03-12 20:21:33 · answer #8 · answered by TOM 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋