I know this sounds bad to ask but are there any parents out there who wish they didn't have kids?

Question

I love my kids and all but when I see people that are carfree and can do anything they want with out kids I get a little jealous. Anyone else feel this way?

Answer 1

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. I GOT PREGNANT WITH MY SON WHEN I WAS 16 AND HAD HIM WHEN I WAS 17. I WAS PREGNANT WITH MY DAUGHTER WHEN I TURNED 21, SO I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING. I'M OK ABOUT IT NOW, BUT AFTER I HAD MY SON, I FELT LEFT OUT...MY BF (NOW MY HUSBAND) WAS WORKING 17 HOUR DAYS 6 DAYS A WEEK AND I GUESS I JUST FELT STUCK...I NEVER FOR 1 SECOND REGRETTED HAVING MY SON, I JUST REGRETTED NOT WAITING. I FELT THAT WAY FOR A WHILE, (COUPLE OF YEARS) NOW I LOOK AT IT LIKE THIS:YES, I MISSED SOME PARTIES, I MISSED QUITE A FEW OPENING NIGHTS AT THE MOVIES AND "THE EVENT OF THE YEAR" THAT HAPPENED EVERY 2 WEEKS, AND I DIDN'T GET TO GO ON THAT WEEK LONG CRUISE. BUT I DID GET TO SEE MY KIDS' FIRST SMILES, THEIR FIRST STEPS, AND HEAR THEIR FIRST WORDS. I GOT TO SEE MY SONS FIRST DAY AT SCHOOL, AND I'VE LEARNED HOW TO DO MORE THINGS AT 1 TIME THAN A LOT OF MY CHILDLESS FRIENDS CAN DO IN A DAY. I'VE LEARNED THE VALUE OF SAVING A FEW CENTS, AND THE IMPORTANCE OF THAT ONE SPECIAL TEDDY BEAR. I'VE LEARNED A 2ND LANGUAGE (BABYBABBLE) AND FORGET ABOUT PAYING TO SEE THE "FUNNIEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR" THE FUNNIEST THINGS I'VE EVER HEARD MY SON SAID FOR FREE. I'VE FOUND THAT POOH BEAR AND HOT WHEELS PARTIES ARE MORE FUN THAN BYOB PARTIES. THE DRUNK GUY FALLING DOWN IS NOT NEAR AS ENTERTAINING AS MY DAUGHTER SHOVING ICING UP HER NOSE AND HAVING SO MUCH ICING ON HER FACE SHE COULDN'T OPEN ONE EYE BC HER EYELASHES WERE STUCK TO HER FACE. MY HUSBAND IS THE CUTEST WHEN HE'S RIDING BIKES WITH OUR SON OR TRYING TO PLAY DOLLS WITH OUR DAUGHTER. THE THINGS YOU'RE MISSING "OUT THERE" ARE NOWHERE NEAR AS GREAT AS THE THINGS YOU HAVE FRONT ROW SEATS TO WITH YOUR KIDS. BUT IT DOESN'T HURT TO GET A BABYSITTER EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE AND VENTURE OUT TO A GROWN UP MOVIE OR GO EAT SOMEWHERE THAT DOESN'T HAVE A PLAYPLACE OR GIANT RATS HANDING OUT TOKENS. BUT EVERYTIME WE DO THAT, I START MISSING THE KIDS BEFORE WE EVEN GET THERE.

Answer 2

this is somewhat common-grasss is greener on the other side" thinking- but more common in those who had kids a bit too early or are somewhat unsatisfied w their lives I would try to put your goals down as to what you would like to accomplish short term and long term and start working on them You may take one class or pursue some other interest when kids are being watched by a family member. You may need just 20min of time to yourself every day for reading/thought/exercise Try to make that work The people w/o kids have plenty of other concerns they are usually not care free its just an illusion to you now.
Also make sure you dont have any more kids! Then you can plan for the time when they are grown.
As they get older you will have less 24-7 duties and more guidance counselor/money provider/ type duties. Take parenting classes/read books that teach you how to make them gradually responsible so you are not an over-involved control freak parent -or overindulgent buying them everything they want or getting too involved in their homework and projects etc. Take your role as a parent as serious as other people's jobs but also realize kids are separate individuals who need to develop their own personalities and interests which many times will be far different than yours. You need your interests and they theirs. Do not emotionally rely on them to fulfil your goals and dreams.There will be a time they are on their own and you will still need a "life"

Answer 3

No, I haven't felt this way. I was 30 before I had my 1st child and 32 when I had my 2nd. I am glad to have them here & never regretted it or was ever jealous of people who DIDN'T have kids I've always wanted them, but didn't find the right guy yet, and finished with my schooling. I do get to get away now with some moms once a month a night to do anything. Sleep, dancing,etc..haha Best of Luck to you! ~T~

Answer 4

I know what you mean - I have a friend with no kids and every weekend she's out on her boat or shopping or just relaxing on the couch all day (imagine that!!) but then I think she misses out too. To me, there's nothing greater than watching your kids play and laugh and just enjoying life.

But I agree with an earlier post - you have to make time for yourself. I try to get a manicure every few weeks and once a month I get together with some friends for dinner and drinks - gives me something to look forward too.

But I do know what you are talking about.

Answer 5

No, I don't feel that way, and NO, I am NOT lying about that. But I know a couple who feels that way. They seem to hate the fact that they have kids, they never take the kids anywhere fun but go plenty of fun places on their own and leave the kids with people. And the Dad often tells his boys that he is living for the day that both of them are 18 and he can get them the f*ck out of his house for good. It's sad. I'm not saying you are like them, just telling you about them.

Answer 6

I think all parents have felt this one time or another. One of mine is married and the other is just graduating high school. It's nice that we have the freedom we wanted years ago, but another it's sometimes, it's way too quiet. I had the benefit of a wonderful mom, aunt and sister. Several times a month, they would watch the kids for a few hours or even over night occasionly, so I had some time for myself. Don't think you are a terrible person for your feelings, you just need some pamper time for youself. Have a friend watch them for a few hours and return the favor for them.

Answer 7

Yes I have felt this way before. When my daughters were first born, I know that sounds bad, but I was 16 when they were born, and my friends were always going out and I could not go as I had 2 little ones at home. But I love them to death and would not change any of it.

Answer 8

Look i adore my son. I have never loved anyone else the way i love him, but some days when i'm feeling really not in the mood and just want some time out, to do what i want to do and when i want to do it without always having to worry about him, I too secretly wish i had waited before i had him. I feel jealous of other couples that don't have kids because i think that they are alot more free. But i bet alot of childless couples look at us with jealousy because we've been blessed with children.
I remember when i was single i use to look at married people and think i want that and now that i am married i love my husband imensely but i sometimes look at single carefree people and think i want that.
I think its a natural thing to always want what u can't have.
Don't feel guilty we all do it.

Answer 9

Some days really are better than others! One day I wonder what on earth we could have been thinking, and then one of them really does well at something, or says something, (I love you, dad.) From a 20 yr. old son is really amazing, and you wonder what your life would be without them. No, you KNOW what it would be, EMPTY, WORTHLESS! And all of the lost sleep and sacrifice, the work and worry, the stress, and distress don't seem like they are a very big deal. I must admit, however, there are days when I just wanted to RUN!!! Best on luck with yours, and all things good.

Answer 10

Get envious, by all means, Jennifer, but not jealous. Those people who don't have kids are missing out on the most important life lessons - those of passing on the skills of living. There will be times when we all hate our kids, but the moment they leave home, we're torn apart. Childless couples have something missing in their lives, and it shows. Just look closely at them and you'll see. Those of us who have kids are the lucky ones, whether they have one parent or two. We have experienced something childless couples can only guess about.