why does everyone always make fun of the french army?

Question

I think it has somehting to do with them being cowardly, but I am not sure. By the way, I am not trying to offend anyone of French Descent, I am just curious to why people make jokes about them.

Answer 1

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." --- General George S. Patton
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"It's no surprise the French won't help us get Saddam Hussein out of Iraq. They didn't help us get Germany out of France, either. Still, it's essential for them to join us in the war against Iraq. They can teach the Iraqis how to surrender." --- Jay Leno
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"Did you see the new bomb the government came up with? It weights 21,000 pounds. The Air Force tested this bomb in Florida and the bomb blast was so strong at Disneyworld 25 French tourists surrendered." --- Jay Leno


"French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too soon. The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them how to surrender properly." --- Jay Leno

"Finally, this week the French soldiers have showed up in Afghanistan. Figures - just like the French to show up after the hard work has been done." --- Jay Leno

"Army personnel in Kuwait unloaded a dozen faulty tanks that only go in reverse. Tanks that only go in reverse - they've been repackaged and sold to France." --- Craig Kilborn 5

"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?" --- Dennis Miller

"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." --- Argus Hamilton

"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining."
--- John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv

"The French are always reticent to surrender to the wishes of their friends and always more than willing to surrender to the wishes of their enemies." -- unattributed

Answer 2

It all goes back to WWII. The French military put up very little defense against the German Army. They(the French) had bulit a fortified trench system between the nations of Germany and France. The previous war, WW I was a trench battle war in which there was very little movement back or forward. Mostly people firing from one set of trenches at the enemy in the other set of trenches. It didn't fair well with the germans strategy and thus the Germans had lost.
Back to WWII Hitler's Generals seeing that a trench battle was long and costly in lives simply invaded Frances neighbors to the north. Avoiding the tench and defensive perimeter and march south into Paris. France having been out played and out matched in numbers simply surrendered.
This left the remaining allied forces and later America to finish the war and defeat the Nazi war machine. So even after American and british forces liberated the french from the Germans the french continue to treat us rudely, smell offensive and make junky cars.

Answer 3

Cowards ?

1916 : during the WWI the french have won the bloodiest battle of History. (Battle of Verdun against the germans).

1940 : When the british go back in England (Dunkirk collapse), France is ALONE AGAINST THE POWERFUL NAZIS ARMY. 150 000 French soldiers have been killed defending their country.

1944 : With a army reorganized by General de Gaulle,
200 000 french soldiers fight against Nazis with the allies.

1944 : The french resistance action during the D-Day is compared with the power of 15 divisions, by General Eisenhower.

1957 : the french army win the "battle of Alger". It is the only exemple of a total victory against terrorism during an urban war.

since 2001 : the french secret services are the best USA allie agaisnt terrorism.

2001-200... : the french are in Afghanistan to fight talibans.

Actually, the french are jokes target since their opposition to Iraq invasion in 2003. The french community is very small in the USA, so it's a good and easy target.

Actually, France is very popular in the world (outside USA) since 2003 (according to a recent BBC world poll).

A not offended person of french descent...

Answer 4

In both World Wars, the French armies did not give a good account of themselves in fighting back the attacks of German invasions, and it was primarily English-speaking armies who came in and turned the tide of battle or (in WW2) outright drove the Germans out. Additionally, there are fundamental cultural differences. i.e. A wounded French soldier in a field hospital would be thought a fool by his colleagues if he did not cry out in pain and bring attention to himself. A wounded British soldier would be thought by HIS colleagues to be a cowardly weakling if he WOULD cry out. It's easy to see how English-speakers being treated alongside their French allies might develop attitudes of contempt toward Frenchmen.

Answer 5

In recent history (like last 100 years)l, the French army has been rather inept. Maybe their training, leadership or whatever has made them so.

Although I think the french underground was decent. And certainly when Napolean was around the french army kicked butt.

Answer 6

Can you name one war they won...lol. They count on the foreign legion to protect them.And that has no french in it. Their record in WWII stands for itself After Germany defeated them ,they formed the Vichy government and fought against their allies.The Britts sunk the french fleet so it could not be turned over to Hitler.I wonder under which rock their great leader Jacques Chirac was hiding.The back stabbers/french.I just wonder how much the USA must pay ,for the cemeteries in france.I'm sure the blood was not enough from the thousands of Americans buried there.
Dien Bien PU ! they bailed out of ,after we came to their rescue.By the way ,we paid for 95% of the cost of their war there.Also they became our Largest critic, later during the Vietnam war. Is't it funny how they weaseled out of it ,but then that"s france and the french.

Answer 7

Because they have a rather poor record in recent years of surrender and incompetence. In reality, the French were quite courageous until WW2 then they became the cheese eating surrender monkeys we all know and love today. 1st WW2, then Vietnam, Algeria, and so on and so on the French army was repeatedly embarrassed.

Answer 8

before the French it was the Italians, as in the two thinest books in the library, Italian heros and Italian Army Exploits.
Before the Italians, the Poles and all the pollock jokes

Answer 9

Because there a freaking joke...

They train stupid, they dont help out or do anything, they just say they have a military..

There immoral and pathetic.

Answer 10

The French have an army?