They also buy birthday present for my husband and kids but I don't even yet a birthday card. I feel hurt and unwanted. My parents would never do that. How do I get over the hurt?
2007-03-12 11:54:21 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I see that some of the people that answered this question has some points to their answers . but the one you should worry about are you, your husband and the kids . don't his parents get you down . if you really want to say something to them just say something oh gee thanks for the b-day gift its very thoughtful of you to think about me . and sit back and let go know that the only thing they gave you was their son in marriage. ~smiles softly~ best of luck to you .
2007-03-20 10:22:50 · answer #1 · answered by patti_buffkin2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your in-laws do not like you, they do not feel that you are part of their family, and the best thing that you can do is leave it be, as long as they are not talking sh*t! If you try to retaliate then its you against them, and it puts your husband and the middle, even though husbands should speak up for their wife's it doesn't always work that way. But if you want to get to the bottom of it then just invite them over to dinner and state" I figure this would give us a chance to open the lines of communication" there may be something you did, or they think you did that they are still holding on to. Good Luck!
2007-03-12 19:05:51 · answer #2 · answered by shocker83_fear_me23 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm so sorry for you I feel that you should understand that in laws are not always on your side but right now for my little summary I have gotten jelousy from you, sorry to say, I have gotten that you are angry because they have given your husband and children presents and not you but what you have to understand is thats thier son and his mother not yours, and those may or may not be thier grandchildren but thier children, so you should celebrate your birthday in the most happiest way and know your guardians/ parents love you and care for you and remembered your birthday and hopefully you kids and husband because thats all that matters wish you luck and love Also happy Birthday hope it brightens you up
love KW
2007-03-20 17:10:59 · answer #3 · answered by me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had almost the same thing happen to me even tho they liked me enough, just at birthdays they always forgot me. My husband & I have no children tho. For the last 5 yrs it was always me who shopped for their christmas & birthday gifts, not my husband. Their birthdays are right after Christmas & last Christmas I told my husband I would not be shopping for them this time since they never remembered me & it hurt me for them to do this. My birthday is in February & this year they all remembered me. Not sure if he said anything or if they figured it out, but it worked.
2007-03-19 01:13:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really don't get over the hurt. Let your husband know how you feel, and that if she's going to leave you out of it she can't give him or the kids a gift, unless you get something too. He doesn't think, ha? he's very selfish but yeah he needs to put his foot down. Good luck. Something similar has happened to me so I know how it feels.
2007-03-18 02:30:05 · answer #5 · answered by nutty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried talking to them? Maybe they have a reason why they do that.
The only advice I can give is try talking to them, ask them if they have a reason why the treat you like you are not part of the family. It could just be something very easy to resolve. If its not atleast you will know what the problem is and you won't have to wonder any more.
2007-03-20 18:59:48 · answer #6 · answered by Lupa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow...you've put up with this up through Kids??????? omg
see.. I refuse to be pushed like that.. more to the point, my husband would have never allowed it.
But, on their next b-day I would get them something really nice, from me, not the family, and tell them, "I know that I don't rate even a $2.00 card from you, but I was raised better than you were apparently. And I'd like to set a better example for my children. Happy Birthday" Slap a big smile on and ask them if they would like another piece of cake:)
But then... that's me. I refuse to allow people to make me unhappy. I like being happy too much too allow their drama into my life.
2007-03-12 19:25:09 · answer #7 · answered by larsgirl 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
your husband should have stood up for you long ago, my husbands family treated me badly and he flat out told them that if they didn't treat me better they would have no part in our life or in our children.
your husband should refuse any gifts unless you are given one to.
anytime you are at their house and they slight you in front of your children that is teaching your children that its ok to treat you bad and that daddy allows it.
as they grow they will treat you bad because they have been taught this behavior pattern, you should be first in you husband life it is his job to protect you to cherish to love honor....frankly to put it in old fashioned biblical words - he needs to leave and cleave.
it means you leave your parents house and cleave to the person you marry. making them first and all else second.
funny enough the government of the USA has more respect for your relationship than your husband.
they place you, him and your children as "immediate family"
and your parents and siblings become "extended family".
just something to think on.
2007-03-20 18:33:11 · answer #8 · answered by Blessed Rain 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kill them with kindness. Be the best 'daughter they never had' or be and even better daughter than the one they do have. They will respond. It will take time and be difficult for you but it will make life better for you and the hurt will heal when they start to appreciate you.
2007-03-17 13:32:10 · answer #9 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
stay away from them. i have abusive in laws too and i mean really abusive~ i have been hit and cussed at by my mother in law and i was scared~ i say stay waya from them and suggest to ur hubby ur feelings and he has to have a serious talk to them about all of this and if they do not respect ur hubby after he talks to them on treating u better then simply tell him u will not be a part of those in laws life.
2007-03-12 19:38:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋