My husband and I got married in Gatlinburg TN. It was a beautiful wedding, and we stayed there to honeymoon as well. I obviously didn't want to include my 11 yr. old son in my honeymoon, so he stayed with his Grandma and had a great time. It's been 6 months now and I'm feeling a little guilty for not including my son in my wedding. We would like to do something for our one year anniversary to include him, but what? It's too early for a vow renewal ceremony, but we want to do something a little more formal than just a party. What do we do?
2007-03-12 11:24:13 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
actually reverend I am a stay at home mom but thank you for your concern.
2007-03-12 12:32:47 · update #1
kazacan4, I never said that my husband didn't include my son in anything. In fact they get along great together and are always doing "father-son" things like playing ball and games and stuff. The idea to get married in Gatlinburg was MY idea, and we didn't include my son because we were gone for a week and he was in school and I didn't want to take him out of school for a week to go with us. My husband is far from a jerk.
2007-03-12 12:37:46 · update #2
Maybe you can just go on a second honeymoon. Your husband and you can sit down with your son and tell him that you want to take a second honeymoon on your 1 year anniversary but unlike the first you want him to come with you. Have him help with the plans and help deciding where to go. You have 6 months to plan and pay for a perfect family vacation.
Also, I would make sure that you atlk to your son about how he may be feeling about missing your wedding. I have a 10 yr old daughter who would've been very sad if she couldnt attend my recent wedding.
Dont listen to the people putting your husband down for not including your son on your honeymoon. Just because we have kids prior to the wedding doesnt mean we dont deserve a vacation by yourself!
2007-03-12 11:55:35 · answer #1 · answered by Kristin Pregnant with #4 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
CONGRATS 2 you, well i think maybe you should have another ceremony just with the close family and friend's and wouldn't it be nice to have your son be the best man or walk you down, i have a son and you never want to make your children feel left out, especially on a new marriage, or just the two of you and your son have a little ceremony if you wish , it's ok you married and then after honeymooned, i mean that is a special time for the both of you, so now include him in a special date where his presence is shown that he is needed and loved which im sure he is, just make it a little about him as he wasn't there the first time, i hope you figure it out and BEST WISHES on your new life and family XXX
2007-03-12 18:37:05 · answer #2 · answered by Bella 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've gotten a lot of answers and people are confused with what you are saying. It's not that you're guilty he didn't go on your honeymoon, you're guilty that he didn't get to come to the wedding. Sorry, just wanted to clarify that for other readers. With that said...
I think asking him what he wants to do on your first family vacation, as one other answerer said, is a great idea. Suggest to him that he give a couple choices, so you have options. You don't have to include him every year, but what a great treat for him to celebrate your first anniversary as a family.
Best wishes!
2007-03-12 18:57:53 · answer #3 · answered by Proud to be 59 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gee- don't feel guilty about not including him on your honeymoon, really that was only for you 2, now you can a fun party at some club or whatever you like, the golf club here has a lake nearby, focus on fun where he can lead the other kids or be the organiser, will it be summer time? boys that age would love to be out in row boats, where all the adults are around so they are safe but they can act silly and have a ball! this fun would be after everyone has the meal and goes outside, and mabey music outside. I'm thinking of a warm Sunday afternoon.
2007-03-12 18:46:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been married before , or at least you had a child before so it's not like you were a virgin and needed a "honeymoon" to learn the ropes. Your husband sounds like a jerk if he hasn't included your son up to this point. A family vacation would have been wonderful but seeing as you already did the omission and left your son already and have made the point of letting him know that there's YOU TWO and HIM in the house - you'd better fast track and cement the relationship or you'll be talking to his probation office in a few years. Set a date for a family portrait ASAP, make it a special event, let your new hubby take your son shopping for a nice outfit - man to man. Have the portrait taken and then go out for your anniversary dinner - just the three of you - and order a neat dessert or cake and all three of you toast each other as "our new family". It would also be a nice time for your hubby to buy him a meaningful gift engraved "To my new son" - maybe a box for his favorite things. Save the vow renewal for your 25th anniversary. That would mean nothing to him and be just tacky for you at the one year point.
2007-03-12 18:50:38 · answer #5 · answered by Wifeforlife 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Don't feel guilty! Does your son seemed bothered by it? I just got married this October, and while my son gave me away because I don't communicate with my parents (for good reason) that was his role. He didn't go on the honeymoon. Kids aren't supposed to go. It's for the newly married couples to have some alone time.
I would just make sure that you are all 3 a family. That is what is most important. Don't dwell on the past. Focus on the future.
2007-03-12 18:29:12 · answer #6 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can take him on a family vacation for your one year anniversary- make it somewhere fun like Disney or Wisconsin Dells. Your son had a great time and since he isnt having problems with it, there is not reason why you all cant do something later. Ask him where he would like to go for the vacation!
2007-03-12 21:19:03 · answer #7 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm just confused, did none of the family attend the wedding? Why could he not have had a part then gone home with Grandma? With that said, let him pick where he wants to go for a family vacation..that is a fun idea.
2007-03-12 19:09:11 · answer #8 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have your husband go to your son and say "I want us to do something special for our families one year aniversary what do you think about taking your mom to a nice dinner?" That way the son feel involved and you're celebrating the family being joined and not just you two. Also The son will feel involved since the man is coming to him and want to celebrate being part of his family.
And he doesn't have to say go to a nice dinner, you could have a camping trip, family vacation, day at the park etc...
God Bless
2007-03-12 20:16:39 · answer #9 · answered by Ashley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The family vacation is fun idea. What is a marriage but a vow to be family? Don't simply do a Disney World vacation, it's not what family is about. Family isn't about trademarked characters and mindless spending and other diversions. Family is about time spent together, learning about one another.
2007-03-12 18:34:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋