I could potentially go with this girl i really like but some of my friends really despise her. Seems there were some rumours spread at some point although i dont know which party to believe in the matter! Surfice to say, if i ask her out i feel like i'd be betraying one of my closest friends. he even gets aggitated when i just talk to her (although i find that a little petty myself). I dont want to loose a good friend through this but at the same time i dont want to give up on this girl cos we have so much fun together. She lives 100 miles away or so but comes back to my area (her home town) quite frequently. On the flip side, the friend i could loose through being with her keeps going on about moving out of the country. Question is, what do i do?
2007-03-12 11:17:49 · 16 answers · asked by metalamania3000 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well guys, thanks for all the help with this one. It really helped me put things in perspective. And the speed of all the responses was truely great. However, unfortunately for me when i went for it, it would seem she wasnt interested after all. even after the kissing and propersitions made the last couple of times i saw her (over the space of the last few weeks). Oh well.
But anyway, thanks alot guys. At least now the situation is resolved eh!
2007-03-12 12:52:34 · update #1
Trust your instincts - if you decide to ask her out tell your friend and if he's not happy then so what ? he's not the one going out with her is he ? You can't live your life how others want you to live it.
2007-03-12 11:21:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The distance does play a factor in this.
Personally, if you like the girl, who cares what your friends think...if anything, if they were REALLY your friends they would support you and not let their personal feelings get in the way.
The thing is, yes you can go out with her. But the distance does make it rather hard to try to keep a steady relationship going. If you can pull that off, great...but for the most part, long distance relationships (even if she comes around), are tough.
2007-03-12 18:24:12 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find out whether he is leaving or not, if he is, wait till he's gone then go out with her, but if he isnt, then the girl isnt worth loosing a friend over, trust me. i lost one of my best friends (girl) over this guy that i liked and went out with. Stay in touch with the girl and talk it through with your friend and tell him you like her and everything but hes kinda holding you back, if he really is a good friend he wont try and stop you two. Also talk to her and tell her that he likes her, but so do you. If she likes you enough she'll wait for you and your friend to sort things out first. You've got to keep the communication between the 3 of you or there will be A LOT of problems, you know what i mean?
2007-03-12 18:29:37 · answer #3 · answered by Nadine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is up to you, freinds are freinds, and really should respect your feelings, My best female freind is with a guy that I can not stand (simply due to way he treats her, cheats, hits and abuses her), However despite the fact I think he is wrong and she is mad, she is still my mate, and so I am here for her, and dont let this person she with get in the way. If you like her and want to persure it do it, but speak with your freind about it to and accept that he may not like it, but it is ur life. However remeber freinds tend to be around a lot longer than some relationships....!
2007-03-12 18:26:05 · answer #4 · answered by djp6314 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay with her. if you have fun then your friend should understand that and although he may feel betrayed by you at first, he will get over it. trust me on that. you arent doing anything wrong, just try not to rub it in his face or bringit up all the time- which im sure you wont anyway lol
i hope it works out with you and the girl, and your friend can put aside his differences and be happy for you two. xx
2007-03-12 18:22:44 · answer #5 · answered by chatterbox15 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't be sitting around worried about your mates think, forget about them for a minute. If you really like this girl and you want to give her a chance go for it. If these so called 'mates' are real they will respect your choice and stand by you no matter how it works out. No one can pick your girlfriends for you, after all you are the on who will be going out with her not your mates.
2007-03-12 18:52:43 · answer #6 · answered by whitney 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go for it.
Don't listen to rumours - at least until you've asked her about it directly! Have you tried asking her if they're true?
If you have a good time and she seems genuinely interested in you, then why not? It's none of your friend's business really, and it sounds like he's being quite nasty about her! If she hasn't actually done anything bad towards your or him that you have proof of, he can't judge her!
If he was your real friend, he wouldn't stop hanging out with you just because you went out with this girl. Even if he really doesn't like her, he should be there for you.
I think of it this way - if you go out with the girl and your friend ditches you, he wasn't a good friend anyway.
Whereas - if you don't go out with the girl because of your friend and he then leaves the country, you have neither of them.
Your friend shouldn't be controlling you - you can make up your own mind who to be with.
So overall, if she hasn't done anything to hurt you and you don't abandon him to spend time with her, he should has no valid reason for trying to stop you going out with her.
I hope this helps, hun! :-)
xox Emmie
2007-03-12 18:26:04 · answer #7 · answered by Sparklepop 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I always say friends come before relationships.
I even made that known to my gf when we got together.
I would stick by your friend but still make your intentions known to the girl, and then if he buggers off out of the country, go for it!
2007-03-12 18:27:47 · answer #8 · answered by Cookie_Monster_UK 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmmmmmmmm.....well i said if it a go. There is no doubt that your friends can sometimes see what you can't but if this friend of yours is such a good friend surely he would want to see you happy. If he depises her its his problem and he should not try and make it yours espicialy if you always have so much fun with her!! Take a chance..................or else you will always be asking yourself if it would have of worked out!
2007-03-12 18:27:04 · answer #9 · answered by hannah 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i went through the same problem,, but i was the one who didn't like my friends new boyfriend.. to some people it could look like your mate fancies this new girl himself,and one person suggested i like my friends new fella, but it wasn't that at all.. i loved my friend dearly and this new bloke (i though) wasn't good enough for her.. she decided to be with him because it felt right and unfortunately because i couldn't let it go we lost our friendship.. but she is very happy,, she has moved in with him and they have been together for almost two years now.. i do feel bad because i was only trying to look out for her,, but she went with her heart and is now very happy. we didn't talk it through,, she just cut me out because she didn't want to listen to the things i had to say.. go with your heart,, its not often people come into your life that can be special,, and talk to your mate. tell him how you feel.. hopefully he will be more supportive than i was.
2007-03-12 18:36:02 · answer #10 · answered by jem 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well my man if your friend will hate you for going out with this girl than it should be obvious that he is not really a friend. i would go for it and ask her out and if he says anything than you'll know he wasn't really a friend or at least a good friend and then you'll get to spend more time with your newly found girlfriend cuz friends should always be there for you.
2007-03-12 18:24:30 · answer #11 · answered by mixalot2008 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋