Anytime I have to go to the bathroom, I am followed. So when that one time a month hits I try to get really clever about getting my two girls to do something else. However, my 3 year old is getting more and more curious about why I have a "boo boo" there. What in the world to I tell her little mind that does NOT include the birds and the bees? She doesn't yet comprehend what is going on with her body, let alone why I have to do what I do every month. I'm lost! My husband - obviously - is no help. He still doesn't understand what I go through. What do I tell her about tampons, liners, pads, the reason I have to do this all the time.....
2007-03-12 11:09:01 · 23 answers · asked by Peniey C 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Felt like I needed to add this in: First of all for what ever stupid reason I don't have a lock on my bathroom door and am here with the kids by myself frequently, so I don't really like to lock myself into anything. Second of all, the boo-boo thing started last summer when I had the baby. We told her that the doctor's took the baby from my tummy and gave it to me. She knows it had to come from my vagina and that it hurt. So when we got home and I was still putting all the medicines on and changing everything constantly, she wanted to know what I was doing with what and how it affected me or the new baby. Now the baby, who is 8 months, isn't as big of a curiousity any more. I am working on ways to get her to accept my answers without being a witch about it. My mother was always horrible about my questions. I hope that if I get prepared for her, handle her sister, I will be better prepared for the brother asking questions. Hopefully by then I will have my own house with locks!
Thanks!
2007-03-12 14:27:50 · update #1
My wife and I never let our children in the bathroom with us. They never went in our bedroom, either. They learned from a very young age that people deserve respect and privacy in certain situations. When our children were very young and wanted to be with one of us constantly, my wife put a box of toys outside the bathroom door for them to play with while she was inside. They grew up to be modest with their own bodies and respectful of others privacy. They also learned patience when they were waiting for someone to finish in the bathroom. They commented that other kids didn't have the same respect and "weren't taught very well!" They appreciate our teaching them the way we did.
2007-03-12 11:38:31 · answer #1 · answered by Bud B 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Explain that you are not hurt and its not blood like from a boo-boo. Just say it is part of being an adult. You could also go so far as to say its part of what helps a woman have a baby, but only if you are ready to open yourself up to a whole other line of questioning.
My 3 year old is aware that she has a vagina and that someday if she wants to have a baby that's where the baby will come out. She's been satisfied with that amount of information and has yet to ask anything beyond that.
Often just a simple matter of fact answer will satisfy their curiosity. Although its hard not to do, if you try to pass it off or ignore the question - that's what will make them more curious and have more questions.
2007-03-12 11:19:30 · answer #2 · answered by kmunis 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell her it's a "boo boo." Just tell her that people need privacy when they use the bathroom. That's why bathrooms have doors on them. When you are out in public, just explain that older women sometimes have to put extra padding there and leave it at that. I like the other girl's explanation of having extra blood--this doesn't tell your child about the birds and the bees and is accurate. Don't lie to your child, or she'll end up like Chrissy from Now and Then--the movie where the mom waits until her daughter is twelve and then says that mating is watering flowers and all of her friends make fun of her--the younger your daughter is when you start explaining things to her, the better. It'll be less awkward for both of you.
2007-03-12 11:27:46 · answer #3 · answered by Sit'nTeach'nNanny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try going in the bathroom and locking the door while you are in there. Even if it upsets her that she can't follow you in there it won't last long. Try making it a habit to do that all the time not only when you are having your monthly. That way she will know that going to the bathroom is a private time.
Or just explain that it isn't a boo boo that it is something grown-up girls have sometimes. She may still not understand it but just reiterate it and she will accept it for now until she is old enough to understand better.
2007-03-12 11:19:24 · answer #4 · answered by vancie121 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I just tell mine it is something that all girls go though when they get older and that is just the way it is. I don't tell them it's a "boo boo" or anything because you don't want it to be a shock when you explain what and why. I started at 9 years old and my mom at 8 so I want them to understand at least a little as soon as possible even if I don't give all the details.
About tampons: I would lock her out no matter how loud the scream. My step daughter at 4 (before I met her) tried inserting one in herself after seeing her mom do it.
2007-03-12 11:17:27 · answer #5 · answered by pebble 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The first time I noticed that when I was a kid, was when I saw a stain on my biological mom(who was babysitting me while my dad was in the hospital and my mom stayed with him)'s underwear. She told me
"Girl's make extra blood every month incase they want to have a baby, and if they don't they have to get rid of it so that they don't have too much blood"
It satisfied me until I figured out what it actually was several years later.
Good luck! I know what it's like having an audience. My 1yr old has started follwing me to the bathroom and he now says "pee" everytime I go in.
Edited to add: About tampons and pads and such just tell her that we use these things to keep the blood from getting on our clothes, but make sure that she knows that they're for big people only. You don't want her going and getting one and sticking it to her knee when she scraps her knee.
2007-03-12 11:14:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
Kids understand far more then we give them credit for. It's probably not a good thing for her to think you are hurt every month. Explain [simply and on her level] that when little girls get older they have to take care of themselves in different ways. When she asks specifically about the tampons, liners, and pads just tell her that they help keep your vagina clean. You shouldn't lie to her--just keep the explanation age appropriate. Best of Luck!
2007-03-12 11:21:35 · answer #7 · answered by .vato. 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First of all, clarify that Mommy doesn't have a "boo boo", but that it's just something normal that happens to mommy-bodies.
You know better than anyone else what your child can and cannot understand. Beyond making sure that your daughter knows that there's nothing wrong with you and you're not injured, I would hesitate to suggest any course of action without knowing your child's maturity level. Ask your Pediatrician or your OB/GYN what they would recommend.
2007-03-12 11:22:43 · answer #8 · answered by P T 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be honest and tell her that what mommies do. Then when she gets older she'll understand the talk a little more. COming from someone with two girls I know what you're going through and I also have a son that is curious.
2007-03-12 11:25:07 · answer #9 · answered by themom95 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have an inquisitive three-year-old also, who loves to find out everything- especially if it is none of her business! : ) I just am matter-of-fact with her... "When you grow up to be a big girl, then you will have to wear pads too. I wear them to keep my underwear clean." That part, she can understand, especially if she is potty trained and knows about keeping her underwear clean and dry. Usually with a matter-of-fact answer, she takes in what she can understand, and basically forgets about the rest until she is cognitively ready to understand it. Kids this age are curious, and want to know what goes on in the big world outside their perspective. By just giving a short, simple, truthful answer, it should satisfy her for the time being.
2007-03-12 11:18:11 · answer #10 · answered by dolphin mama 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
My daughter is 4 and I was just honest with her. I told her that mommies bleed there sometimes but that it wasn't an owie that we have to bleed so that we can have babies. She understood for the most part...well the first time she saw the string she thought I had a kite up my pee pee, so that's when the explanation came about!
2007-03-12 11:50:02 · answer #11 · answered by BimboBaggins 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋