my husband has just got in from work and his mother just rang to pick her up from hospital she lives 30 odd miles away its not the first time he is always doing things for her she has two other sons but they dont do it maybe am being mean but it does make me angry !
2007-03-12 10:05:07 · 14 answers · asked by astra 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you are not being mean but ask yourself why she asks your hubby all the time? does she get on as well with her other two sons or is it that she feels she can approach him more confidently and indeed comfortably,does your hubby have a problem with it or is it just you? do you get on with her generally? only you can answer these questions, but she is not your enemy she is, like it or loathe it , your family now, if she was poorly then you shoul not really have had a problem with it, you should support him and indeed her, you surely dont want to cause problems and make him choose, that would be mean, if she puts on him frequently and it affects your time together then maybe speak to your husband and explain how you feel, perhaps he can then speak to his brothers and come to a fair arrangement with them after all you are married and should be able to resolve this one together, answer the questions i have asked and you will know the answer, dont want to sound harsh but you dont give too many details, good luck and hope it all works out for you
2007-03-12 10:27:53 · answer #1 · answered by emmabearagain 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have found that my spouses parents, as well as my own, and our extended family members usually call one of us when they need some assistance in some way. My mother-in-law even volunteers me to help with things like showers, parties, etc.. I always try to look at the positive side of things, so I always think that it is because we are the most reliable people to do it, and they know that they can depend on us, especially in a crunch. Although it is sometimes a hassle, and sometimes very bad timing, we know that if they would try to call anyone else, they either would not be on time, wouldn't get picked up for hours, or who know. I know that you are feeling frustrated but just think about if it was your mom calling for your help, wouldn't you drop what you could, especially to pick her up from the hospital? If it is an every day occurance or something, than have a talk with your husband, but more than likely he is not going to completely turn his back on his momma, so a compromise might be in order if it is that often. Maybe, him calling one of his brothers sometimes and asking them to do it that evening or?? It really says something good about the man you are married to though.
2007-03-12 11:37:13 · answer #2 · answered by MrsJ S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What makes you angry? The fact that he will help with no notice. The fact that your left home alone. The fact that he spent household money on the gas. The fact that he has a different relationship with his mother than you think he should. If he enjoys helping her and isn't doing it out of some sort of guilt, why does it bother you. She's lucky to have a son to help her, as you said her other 2 son's don't help. If your lucky your son (present or future) will learn the same values from your husband, and you will get the same treatment from your son when you need it.
2007-03-12 10:45:43 · answer #3 · answered by Mike M. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want a happy home and life, you need to learn to accept the fact that there are times when you need to "share" husband with mom-in-law. She carried him in her womb for 9 whole months, raise him up to be the man you married, so now that she is old (maybe all alone too cos Dad is no longer around), she will want to feel the security of being loved and wanted. From my experience, most mothers, especially those who have lost their husbands, tend to become a little insecure and feel left out - her always calling on your husband to do little things for her is just an excuse to see if he still cares for her. You have got a great husband from what I read because he shows concern and cares for his mom - give him your love and support in this. Suggest the next time she calls, you go along too - your husband will surely appreciate the support and your mom-in-law will also be glad of your concern for her.
Remember, one of these days, you are going to be someone's mom-in-law!
2007-03-12 22:45:11 · answer #4 · answered by Seng Kim T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you must be feeling, my mother-in-law can be very selfish too. But I try to look at it this way. You are first in your husbands heart, he chose you to spend his life with but she is his mum and although the ties loosen on the child's side over the years any mother will tell you that they never loose their love for their children. She won't be around for ever and when that day comes if there is anything your husband thinks he should have done for his mum but didn't he will be wracked with guilt.
So deep breath. Send your husband off with a smile and a wave, have a nice drink waiting for him when he gets back. Give him a loving kiss and tell him what a wonderful person he is, he is because she brought him up right. Be thankful.
2007-03-12 10:35:47 · answer #5 · answered by Leapling 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why it makes you angry? Are you jealous about their relationship? Really stupid, then. He is good son, and you are SO lucky not to be married to one of his brothers. Go with him, you are all family. And 30 miles is not too far away.
2007-03-12 10:25:00 · answer #6 · answered by twixi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i might first take a seat my son, dad, and mom in regulation down. i might enable your son handle the subject concerns (if he's the right age) and how it make him experience while this happens. i might then enable them to the two recognize how plenty this hurts him. If the mummy in regulation would not quit the then, i would not enable my son round her on my own. And all fairness being a mom to a son....or vice versa. we've a tendency to over safeguard and yet in while no longer needed. merely seem on the area has you would be interior the comparable concern and maybe yet another 10 -15 years.
2016-10-02 00:27:43 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A deaf ear can solve most mother-in-law problems. You can't hear the phone ringing or her complaining about you not answering the phone either.
Alternatively buy a personal stereo.
2007-03-12 13:54:01 · answer #8 · answered by Captain Sarcasm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tricky one, he obviously feels that he has to be there for her, and you are feeling that she always comes first. Im afraid all you can do is voice your concerns over it, but be careful, she wont be with you forever and then you will be full or remorse. Let him get on with it, thank your lucky stars its not you shes ringing, good luck x
2007-03-12 12:18:13 · answer #9 · answered by pringles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say call a cab and you will re-inburse her the expense
Yeah she is wrong if she only calls on one son each time
Just get caller I.D. on your phone so you can ignore the call in future lol
2007-03-12 10:11:42 · answer #10 · answered by xXx Orange Breezer xXx 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋