How do I decide what to do for the rest of my life? Please my parents or be the rebel?

Question

I am in my second semester in college. I have a 3.7 gpa and i really have no idea what i want to do in my life. I wanted to be an opera major and whlie i was auditiong something seemed wrong and i found out i had a 50% hearing loss.. on that basis every school rejected me and i had to go to school for business. I am good at this stuff but i am not happy doing it. I am a great writer and a very creative person I feel like if i am not in a program where i can be a music manager or a musician then i want to be in fashion. My parents dont support any of these occupations and are giving me a hard time. I never get to be who i want to be or do what I want to do. My boyferind tells me to shoot for the stars id ont even know how to do it. and if i do how can i get support? Right now i am a dual major in international business and political science ... neither one of these things are me.... what do i do?

Answer 1

Hello~
Yes it sounds like your in a pickle. My advice to you is to stop trying to please your parents and start pleasing Y-O-U I am a parent myself and sometimes it's hard for us parents to cut the apron string and allow our children to lead their own lives.

We get caught up in still thinking that you (our children) are still babies and need us to tell you what to do and when. So I'll say to you what I pass to my very own.

Don't try to be of what someone else wants you but be true to yourself. If you allow yourself to live your life pleasing others you will lead a life full of saddness and simply regreting things in the furture.

Whatever you want to do or believe that you want to do then you do it! How do you reach for the stars? You take life and what it has to offer you and go for it! Some people may even tell you that your wasting your time on possibly doing some of those things your interested in. I beg to differ and I say that because there are so many outstanding ladies in this world today that went on and reached for those stars and waalaa they've made it to the very top. Doing what? What they enjoy and what makes them want to get up every morning.

Your parents have lived their lives and now it's your turn. I am sure to state this to your parents at first they would think your being disrespectful, however in time they will take a step back and realize that they've been overpowering and telling you the things they wished they'd done. Ok so us parents don't want to admit these things but it's true.

Listen to your boyfriend and your heart!! Follow the path music? fashion? whatever I am sure that if it's' something you want to do and have a passion to do then you'll know it's right and you want have to think twice about it.

Do speak with your parents it's not an easy task I know but you'll find that once you've done this it will be like a burden has been lifted from you. Your simply stressed now with this pleasing mode your in.

So stop with it and move on with your life and I'll look forward to maybe hearing some music or possibly fashion items from you in the furture!!

The stars aren't as high up as you think... reach and don't stop until your there!!

I wish you all the happiness and success your heart and hand can hold. Good luck and have a wonderful week!

Ssgtmommy

Answer 2

It does sound as if you have good support from your boyfriend. That's a start!

Maybe it doesn't have to be a strictly either-or choice between what your parents have in mind and the kind of things that interest you. There are many things you can do in the music world with a business background.

If you have a good faculty advisor and/or a good career center at school, they may be able to help you figure out something that integrates your current studies and skills (because, as you say, you ARE skilled in those areas) with more creative career paths that would interest you.

In any case, you certainly don't want to do something that's going to make you miserable. Do your homework first and have a good idea what some practical career options for you are, with a plan for how to achieve those goals, then sit down with your parents and have an honest discussion with them about what you do and don't want to do with your life.

I assume a big part of the problem is that you need them to finance your education in whatever you want to do, so you can't blow off their opinions entirely. The more preparation you've done the more they'll respect what you have to say. They might even have some good ideas once you get a conversation going where both sides are really listening to each other.

Answer 3

Sorry to hear about the hearing loss.

Here's the deal: some people go into business or whatever occupation there is to finance their true love, like music or dance. Others do what they really love, sometimes without much money in their pockets. I gradauted in 2005 and have been doing the latter ever since.

If you're not going to be happy working 40 hours a week to fund what you really want to do, then you need to swtich majors. The first thing you would want to do is meet with your advisor or a career counselor at your school.

As for your parents, well, it doesn't sound like they would have been happy with an opera major either. You can explain your decision to them, but if you have to, you'll have to go at your passion alone.

Answer 4

You need to examine your reasons for entering any field. THe best thing to do is to think of something that you enjoy doing so much that you would do it for free, then find a way to get paid for doing it.

Most sucessful musicians start a band just to jam. I have always been the rankest of amateurs as a musician, but I sat in on jam sessions with some dudes a few times where I was handed a bass guitar and told to "keep up". It was fun. The really famous musician's get famous and stay famous, because they love making music. Get paid for playing. A lot of the bands that are thrown together to make money fade quickly into obscurity, mainly because, they think of music as a job, and give it up when they don't make a lot of money.
Sir Paul McCartney, when he was with the Beatles spent several months in Germany when the band made so little money that all the band could afford to eat was cornflakes 3 times a day.
Country singer Ricky Skaggs, when described by the media as an "overnight sucess" was quick to point out that the "night" in question was 11 years long.

Don't let others push you into something just because peole make a lot of money in that field.
Victor Borge was trained as classical concert pianist. He is remembered for his very entertaining comedic talents.
Alex and Eddy Van Halen both had classical music training. It sometimes shows in their music, but most of their fans know they rock.

Answer 5

I was in the same boat as you when I graduated high School. I wasn't yet ready to attend college but I was pressured by my parents to go. I completed two years and took a break. I went and did what made me happy. I am a licensed cosmetologist and I own a salonspa/wedding planning business. After doing this I did go on to finish my degree in buisness management. Do what makes you happy. Don't do a job just because it makes a lot of money because down the line you will start to hate what you do.

Answer 6

Even though you said you don't quite know your direction... Do what makes YOU happy! I speak from personal experience. I am stuck in a career that I am good at but hate doing. It sucks. Your family will eventually come around when they see you are doing well and are happy in whatever you choose. I feel what they are most worried about is you being stable in your life...Having what you need and that is a valid concern for your folks to have.

Once you know what your calling is you will know. Good luck to you. It is YOUR life YOU have to live it so who cares what everyone else wants you to do. Take all advice with a grain of salt. They are in fact your elders and do carry more wisdom but you have to follow your own heart. Or else you will wake up at 40 miserable wishing you had done something else feeling like it is to late. Nobody wants that.

Good luck!

Answer 7

Be the rebel, screw them all. You have to live your life and you can't do that if you spend more time on trying to make others happy instead of yourself. I say, finish the majors since you've already started, get a job in that field and use the ends to go towards what you really want to do. also take up something you like, don't worry about no one else. Live!!!

Answer 8

the best way for u to get help is to talk with your parents. u see, life is a big test, childhood was when you were preapring for the test, the job/occupation desiciion are is when you are taking the tesrt, and adulthood is the results. so wht u do know will have a HUGE impact on ur future. parents are there for u no matter wht, they are your pencil sharpener during the test, so that ur pencil doesnt break, and u dont fail ur test. use their support, and remember to choose a job tht u will want to be doing the rest of ur life, because wht u choose now, will affect u later. good luck!

Answer 9

School doesn't teach life experience. Tell your parents that you need experience in order to figure out what it is you want to do. All the schools in the world can't decide happiness for you. Let them know that pressuring you to pick a career they want isn't the answer.

It is your life, figure out what makes you happy and do it. Your boyfriend is right. Surround yourself with people that support you. Become fully independed of your parents, that is the first step to realization.

Answer 10

Finish up your degree and look for an opportunity to work in the industries you love (music, fashion). You don't have to use the degree directly (although both degrees could be put to good use for a non-profit org that centers around music). You can get in on your credentials and then after some experience move around in the company.