My fiance and I can't afford to have a big wedding right now. We want to elope, and have our 3 small children present, as well as our friend to help with the kids and to help take pictures. Afterwards we want to meet up with our immediate relatives and have some cake and punch before we take our kids to Disneyland. I'm my mom's only daughter and she says she feels like I don't want her there, since we had some disputes in the past. She thinks it's all related but it's totally not. We just don't want to be unfare to his family if she is invited etc. Plus the rest of the family that we are somwhat close to would feel left out too. So we think it would be fair to everyone this way. What do you suggest? If my child were getting married I think I'd want to be there, but since it's me we're talking about things seem different.
2007-03-12 09:31:26 · 9 answers · asked by clickynicki 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Of course you should be guilty of leaving your family but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Do what you want.
2007-03-12 09:35:54 · answer #1 · answered by vexen431 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This doesn't really sound like eloping which is probably where the problem is. Why not have the small event in a park or church or even court house or wherever you are having the cake and punch.with it open to all that come.You don't pay extra per seat filled in these type of venues. Go only as far as who ever you would have invited for the cake and punch.This will solve it for everyone. Eloping would be just you your hubby the kids and someone paid to do pics having a friend do it causes problems with the family. I think if you pay a justice of the peace to be where you are having the cake it will be the same cost maybe even cheaper than going to elope.
2007-03-12 09:41:20 · answer #2 · answered by emmandal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't you just have your parents and his parents there that is what my nephew did it was a small ceremony. since you are her only daughter she really wants to be there. Or just the mom's. We are all a very close family but understood that this is what the couple wanted. If your extended family loves you they will understand if you just invite 1 or 2 people. If you can't have your mom present just make sure she gets a great photo of you and your hubby and also one of the whole family together that would make me feel good.
2007-03-12 09:47:25 · answer #3 · answered by bubbles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are planning a small wedding, Eloping is different. I Eloped w/my 2nd husband... no planning involved here. See, if you hadn't told your mother you were including friends to watch the kids while you said your vows, she would not have been so hurt. My advise is take your vows, send out announcements, take your disneyland vacation, then have big barbque when you get back and be sure to invite your mother.
2007-03-12 09:45:05 · answer #4 · answered by mslorikaraoke 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I actually called my mom and asked her opinion before I began to answer this question, so it kind of goes from both of us.
I am the only child and I know my mom would like to be present at my wedding, BUT... If your mom loves you very much she will understand why you want to have YOUR wedding to be done YOUR way. If you will take your mom only than the question "what about HIS mom" will arise. You need to think about your fiance and kids.
2007-03-12 09:47:24 · answer #5 · answered by zomba_ru 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, you should have his parents and your parents instead of your friend. No extended family should feel left out that it was parents only, but everyone will feel left out if you have a friend there and not any relatives.
We invited our parents (at the last minute, practically, because I felt my dad was too ill to wait 10 years for us to renew our vows) and his parents weren't able to go because they still have 11 kids at home. Even though we invited them, I still feel bad that we couldn't have them there. My husband and I even argued about it on our honeymoon, that sucked.
Really think about your priorities. Our ceremony was only like 10 minutes long, but I'm glad that my parents were there.
2007-03-12 13:35:51 · answer #6 · answered by calliope320 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry you are dealing with this. I know parents and other family will feel smitted and left out. but do what is best you and the groom. Explain at the reception or gathering, why you did what you did. I Hope they can understand. good luck.
2007-03-12 09:37:51 · answer #7 · answered by tigerprincess_bee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you answered your own question - You're Mom's only girl and you'd want to attend your own kids weddings. She wants to attend and may think because she's the mother of the bride she will get special dispensation.
It's your day - you need to do what you're comfortable with.
2007-03-12 09:35:55 · answer #8 · answered by Brainiac 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are THEY paying for it?...Nope, no guilt here.
2007-03-12 09:42:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋