My friend is 19 years old now, but between the ages of 5 and maybe 9 or 11 (she isn't quite certain, she doesn't like to think about it) she was molested on several occasions by two of her older cousins. After on incident, one of her molesters looked at her and said, "You know you aren't a virgin anymore, right?" Is this true? Can you lose your virginity when it is TAKEN from you?
2007-03-12 09:24:29 · 7 answers · asked by kdd_angel 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If her "molester(s)" are telling her that she's not a virgin anymore, then they went beyond molestation and onto rape.
I don't think the important question here is whether or not her virginity is intact (however, I believe virginity is something in your HEART that cannot be taken forcefully), she needs to speak with a professional about it. You're being a good friend by listening, but she needs to go to a therapist.
Also, she needs to tell someone of authority. Parents, police, anyone. What if what happened to her is happening to another 5-year-old little girl?
If it happened on several occasions, then she must obviously know her attacker(s). She needs to speak up and save another little girl from having to question her virginity.
2007-03-12 09:35:54 · answer #1 · answered by notsoswan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My condolences. Of course you can lose your virginity when it's taken from you. Just as long as the penis passes the vagina's tissue and tears it and in this case I think it has. It's really unfortunate hat that has happened at such a tender age. She can do something about it though. If she calculates exactly when she's been molested, she can figure out if the limit on rapes has passed. She's not gotten over it because she doesn't like to talk about it. That can seriously damage her. She should get councelling if the year limit has passed or she could call a meeting and tell her family that her cousins raped her with them being there. It will be traumatic, but I promise it will help. Help her through it and tell her that not all guys are like that and that she'll find love soon. All the best. Good luck. Keep being a good friend, and the fact that she trusted you enough to tell you that, you shouldn't have asked the world, but you're a good friend anyways. Good luck.
2007-03-12 16:39:26 · answer #2 · answered by Girl-In-Blue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes and no. Yes she got it taken away from her but not willingly. She didn't want to give that up to them so it really shouldn't count. I think she can start over with a new first time and leave the past behind her. Its not an easy thing to do but im sure she can do it.
2007-03-12 17:01:50 · answer #3 · answered by Alli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
two ways of looking at it: penetration=no virginity. non-willing penetration=it was taken, so when you "give yourself" to someone, it's still special and for the first time.
2007-03-12 16:29:12 · answer #4 · answered by Pyromaniac 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she had her innocence taken from her. physically and emotionally it was stolen. that is true.
maybe though she can have happy good love with some one and then she can loose the innocence riggt
2007-03-12 16:31:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's what rape is at that age.
I hope your friend has been seeking counseling; if not, I hope she starts. It will make it much easier for her to have physical relationships with men as she grows older.
2007-03-12 16:28:42 · answer #6 · answered by Ask Aunt Amy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes,
but have no guilt at all
2007-03-12 16:27:41 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋