What is the best joke you ever heard?
2007-03-12 09:24:04 · 11 answers · asked by Andrew B 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
marriage!!
2007-03-12 09:28:00 · answer #1 · answered by Dusty 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50!" figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the
Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what is the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
2007-03-12 09:26:37 · answer #2 · answered by Chris 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered.
It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery.
When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read,
"Keep off the grass."
Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said,
"Sorry, had to mow the lawn."
2007-03-12 09:27:58 · answer #3 · answered by Snow Bunnie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
2007-03-12 10:19:06 · answer #4 · answered by Jus_014 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There was a rabbit and a snake who ran into each other. The rabbit says, "Hey! Get out of my way! I've been blind since birth!" The snake, excited, says, "Hey, I've been blind since birth, too!" The snake and the rabbit then go on for hours and hours about the ups and downs of being blind. Then, they start talking about how they both don't know what type of animal they are. "Hey," the snake exclaimed, " Why don't we feel each other and we can find out what animal we are!" The rabbit agrees. So the snake feels the rabbit first. He said, "You have a puffy tail, long ears, and long teeth. You're a bunny rabbit!" Then the rabbit feels the snake. He says, "You have a scaly body, beady eyes, and a forked tongue, I think you're a lawyer!"
2007-03-12 10:24:06 · answer #5 · answered by !DookDook! ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A termite walks into a saloon and jumps up on the counter and says, Is the bar tender here?
2007-03-12 09:33:23 · answer #6 · answered by dan p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A mushroom walks into a bar, when suddenly the bartender shouts, "Hey! We don't allow your kind here..."
The mushroom replies, "What's the matter, I'm a fungi!"
2007-03-12 09:55:40 · answer #7 · answered by bigcheese131992 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this joke was funny to me because the person was laffing while he said it. OK here it is.
These three people are stuck on abandon island. They all have one wish one wishes to go home the other wishes to go home and the last one wishes for the other two to come back. LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
2007-03-12 09:33:53 · answer #8 · answered by dannysiewpersad 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
An interior shaggy dog tale: "in case you desire somebody who can permit you realize approximately coke bottles purely turn to Qorter" There are in straight forward terms 2 human beings in this Earth different than myself who might understand this and locate it humorous.
2016-10-18 05:16:49 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oooo, that knock knock joke where the punchline is like "orange you going to..." Hahahahahaa... that gets me every time!
2007-03-12 09:27:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
yo moma jus lik da bay st lois brig getin layd by mexicans
2007-03-12 09:27:57 · answer #11 · answered by Masonmpc 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋