The affair happened along time ago and i just found out. My wifes lover had us over for dinner, took us out ect. All that stop when the affair started and lasted For 18 months,The second affair same thing, but lasted a very short time becouse she got pregnant bye him. She never told me to the guilt go to much and she asked For my fogiveness and told me everything.
2007-03-12 09:00:33 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You may have the issue confused.
What you have to deal with is your present relationship with your wife: What is to become of your relationship?
Decide and deal with it.
It's solely between you and her.
2007-03-14 03:35:54 · answer #1 · answered by thinker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not let them live with their guilt rather than do something, the result of which you cannot predict. Your wife has asked for your forgiveness but you need to give more than that. If you can actually give your understanding it will mean so much more to her.
Try to understand that her motives were not to hurt you but to boost her own self esteem which probably at that time was pretty low. She made a decision based on how she fealt which solved an immediate issue of self esteem. It was a mistake as evidenced by the fact that she still feels the need for forgiveness after 20 years. Everybody makes mistakes and they only have value if we learn from them.
Your wife appears to have learnt. She knows the hurt that resulted from her mistaken decision, both to her and to you, and she has lived with it for 20 years without repeating the mistake.
All the predictions that once a cheater always a cheater are rubbish. Once a lesson is learnt who looks for opportunities to learn the same lesson.
You have a great opportunity to make everything so much better for your whole family. I would take it and ignore the fact that your wifes former lover has a family still living a lie.
2007-03-13 15:58:25 · answer #2 · answered by John B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming that you were very upset' hurt' and angry when you found out? If you two are still together and trying to work it all out then why would you want to hurt his wife the way you were hurt? and bring more stress to an already stressful situation? let it stay between you and your wife.
2007-03-12 13:27:38 · answer #3 · answered by kathy h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2nd affair,other man's child. I wouldn't be worried about the other man because there will be another,I would be worried about #3. If you forgave her,you need to be ready to forgive her again and again and again.
2007-03-12 09:09:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats called triangling.
2007-03-12 09:22:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No... Have your wife's lover tell his wife. He's the one she should hear it from.
2007-03-12 09:09:34 · answer #6 · answered by NicOOd 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No...you are putting your frustration in the wrong place. Their marriage is not your concern...your marriage should be your concern.
2007-03-12 09:38:05 · answer #7 · answered by Li 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she has stopped. Do forgive and forget and carry on with your life.
2007-03-13 15:46:03 · answer #8 · answered by lyn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't you get your wife's lover's wife, and be even?
2007-03-12 13:48:57 · answer #9 · answered by schuschtermat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is not worthy file the papers
2007-03-12 11:43:57 · answer #10 · answered by alex 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋