When a woman is very/overly confident and is happy with herself - her physique and personality...people say she is conceited and selfish..egotistical..etc
But when a woman is down with her looks and personality...people tell her she needs to be more confident and love yourself..etc
WHY the double standards? And YOU know who you are who does this..
I used to be shy and people told me to socialise more and be happy with myself,,,so now that I am...
I am now self absorbed?
What is with this perception...this society is always in conflict..
So people...do we be sad with ourself or happy?
2007-03-12 08:55:34 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
The best thing to do is please yourself as long as you are not breaking laws or infringing on the rights and morals of others, human or animal.
To be confident is not conceited or self-focused in my book. People can say that about men as well. It has happened to me.
--That Cheeky Lad
2007-03-12 12:37:13 · answer #1 · answered by Charles-CeeJay_UK_ USA/CheekyLad 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
There's a big difference between being confident with yourself and being conceited/egotistical. There are many women I know who are very attractive and are very confident but they're also very outgoing, very personable, very down-to-earth, and very approachable. In the same vein, I also know a few women who are physically attractive but are very much the attention-whores that go to great lengths to flaunt what they got and act like they're "all that." What's the difference? A lot depends on how you treat people and what you talk about. If you treat everyone with respect and are generally kind, and if you talk about a wide variety of subjects then you're in the confident crowd. But if you look down your nose at other women, flirt shamelessly with all the guys, and only have a realm of conversation that revolves around you...
2007-03-12 09:03:28 · answer #2 · answered by sarge927 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's the way you put yourself across-your personality (judging by all your previous questions) comes across as being self-centred and solely based around your looks.
You constantly go on about seducing the married guy at work,your work mates not liking you,wondering if every guy in your office fantasises about you etc...normal,attractive women do not constantly go on about these things..there is a big difference between being confident in your looks and being conceited and it just happens to be the way you are coming across to people....i'm good looking or so i've been told-so is my partner,sometimes we have people literally crawling over us that find us attractive-but we don't constantly go on in every question we post about our looks like you do,maybe if you stopped having everything revolve around that then people would actually like you more.
I don't have any problem with confident attractive people-I can hold my own there! So it's not a jealous thing-you just need to learn when/what is too much.Try posting questions that don't constantly mention how you look maybe?
2007-03-13 02:22:17 · answer #3 · answered by munki 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You may be a bit self absorbed, but not so bad that you cant try to be objective so thats good. People can be jealous of confident people, but your story sound a bit incomplete. People get offended by things like cruelty and unfairness done to them or to others. Not some one else's happiness. It maybe that these same people who told you to be outgoing, have problems in the same area and need a little encouragement themselves. Like they gave to you. People both fear and welcome change. Its the confident people who handle this well. Understand that they are probably just jealous and will get over it eventually.
2007-03-12 09:09:18 · answer #4 · answered by Danomano 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just be yourself. These people who criticise live in small worlds or think they are so perfect. What is normal anyway? Do what you want with your own life and do the things that you enjoy and makes you happy.
2007-03-15 11:54:25 · answer #5 · answered by sunlover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there. People love other people to fit the average and join in the group. So what they are issuing is corrections to return you to what they perceive as the norm. SO - if you are too depressive, cheer up. If you are too giddy, calm down.
It is a single standard, just not the one you think.
Cheers, Steve.
PS I love you just the way you are!
2007-03-12 09:03:17 · answer #6 · answered by Steve J 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You never can make everyone happy. Just be yourself, and at least one person will be comfortable: you. And that's what's important, right? I think that it's too mindboggling to figure out why people are the way they are and think the way they do, so it's best just to use your own judgment when deciding how you're going to live your life.
2007-03-12 09:00:27 · answer #7 · answered by Persephone 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Some people are just never happy, they love to complain about others. Also, are these the same people saying this to you, or others? Some people might prefer more sociable folks around them, while others like people to be more quiet. You can't ever please everybody, please don't try because you'll always be unhappy if you try to change yourself to everyone's wishes all the time! Being considerate is good but also be yourself and don't always listen to everyone who comments.
2007-03-12 09:32:39 · answer #8 · answered by Sheriam 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
People find faults in everything. Even if there was someone who was the most perfect person in the world, leave them in a room of perople and their (imaginary) faults would be picked out immediately.
You also have to remember, there's a term for everthing.
2007-03-12 09:03:51 · answer #9 · answered by origamistar 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My dear, love yourself. The rest doesn't matter; we are often called 'self absorbed' by jealous a-holes anyway.
2007-03-15 11:16:29 · answer #10 · answered by Icewomanblockstheshot 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋