Why has God abandoned me and cursed me for so long?

Question

I struggle everyday it seems. I cannot remember the last time I felt true happiness. I have prayed to God for ten years now for any sort of salvation or mercy. I have surrendered to him with no results and even less happiness. My business is all but finished, I am 34 years old and financially ruined, I have not had a meaningful relationship for 10 years, I am cursed to be alone til death, no woman wants me. Why does God hate some and curse them to live such a pitiful life regardless of how hard they work and try to make good choices, right choices? Why does God bless others and give them so much with so little effort? What kind of God is this? I wish God would have mercy on me and kill me, I am too coward to do it myself. I pray for relief from my depression, can anyone provide answers to why days can be so dark for so many years. How can unhappiness follow over me for so long and with no relief or mercy from God? Is God not merciful and loving, why then does he hate me so?

Answer 1

Instead of wondering why God is doing this to you, wonder instead “What am I doing every day to make my situation better?” God does not deal in the torment of his/her creations- likely what you’re going through is a direct result of the energy you put into it. Trust someone who’s life sometimes sucks beyond the telling of it. What you put out there really does matter. Whether you believe in Karma, or anything spiritual. It can be as simple as body language. Do you stand hunched, or turned to the side? Like you’d rather be somewhere else, Do you square off when you talk to people staring them in the face like you have something to prove? It’s all about you, and how YOU perceive you. If you think you’re finished, not worth the effort, a total loss, why would anyone else see you as otherwise. If you instead look at all life COULD bring you, and look at your faults not as faults but as works in progress, it will change your entire outlook. It will take a while, and it will be a difficult process, I wont lie. But Start simple. Wake up in the morning, and even if you don’t feel like it- smile. Tell yourself how happy you are to be alive. Find one good thing in your life, and remind yourself of it. Anytime you find yourself being negative stop the thought with a mantra such as “I am Happy. I am Healthy. I am Whole.” (This one is great I use it every day). Surround yourself with only positive people, and try never to speak negatively about anyone (Including yourself) Soon you will begin to notice you’re happy without trying. Life looks better, and things aren’t so bad. THEN maybe you can think about sharing this life with someone else. You don’t need to be with someone to be happy. You need to be happy to be with someone.
Life is almost entirely how you react to situations.
Good luck!

Answer 2

As a christian I can only offer a christian answer to these questions. If this is not appropriate, feel free to disregard what I say!

For a start your feelings are so understandable. Life is incredibly confusing and God often seems remote. That he seems to be inconsistent in his blessings is hard to take; that he seems to bless others that live 'badly' while ignoring our 'good' deeds (though we are often wrong in these judgements) is unpalatable. The bad news for christians is that this harsh deal is not refuted but confirmed for us in the bible: for example, take Quoleth, the 'preacher' of ecclesiastes, who writes 'there is something else meaningless that occurs on earth: righteous men get what the wicked deserve, and wicked men get what the righteous deserve' Throughout the scriptures, one thing is clear: the world is seldom fair and the existence of God does little to change this. I am enormously lucky that i live a relatively happy life and have many blessings from God; this is in stark contrast to the life i have led and to an extent continue to lead, which is often full of pride, dishonesty, jealousy, anger and disregard for others around me. The imbalance of the world works both ways, and even though Christians believe God created it, he does not always actively stop injustice and unfairness.

The good news, from the Christian perspective, is this: this world is not all there is. Our 70 odd years on earth may be good or bad but they are not the sum total of our existence. That there may be a time when for those that have chosen him 'God himself will be with them and be their God', is incredibly comforting (The book of Revelation). 'He will wipe every tear away from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order has past away. He will make everything new'. It won't always be this way in the world; death will not be the end but it will be a change. I have found the hope coming from this fact very helpful.

You say that you have cried out for mercy and salvation to God. The best thing i think i can say is this: either there is no God and we should all go home (and, given the overwhelming evidence I see for his existence - through history, the world around me and above all in his presence in my life - I have come to reject this) or he must have heard your cry and has a plan for your rescue. He certainly doesn't hate you; on the basis of the bible (the book of Peter) he loves everyone in this world equally. His plan will, inevitably, involve his Son Jesus. Christians believe that through Jesus, all the rubbish in the world, all the sin, pride, hate, torture, etc... has been dealt with; that Jesus took all this stuff and basically did away with it all by taking its pain upon himself. On the cross he bore its weight and ushered in a new age where it is possible to know God and to be in eternity with him now. That often doesn't help me so much when the car won't start, the bank balance won't add up and everybody in this world seems against me, but when i stop and think, it really is mindblowing. It can be known now, this evening, if you put your trust in a God that is mighty to save.
Hope you don't mind if I pray for you!

Answer 3

God doesn't hate you! EVERYONE has problems, some perhaps even worse than you. Look at the TV, at least you are not fighting in a war, you are not starving, you didn't mention any sort of life-threatening illness, so you're already doing better than half the population of Earth! It does seem that you are suffering from depression. Seek help from a doctor, there are so many medications and open any phone book and you can find a local therapist.

Whatever religion you are, you know that this life is not supposed to be 'Heaven'. Things are not easy. Talk to your minister or priest, perhaps they can shed some light on your battle.

Good luck and may God bless you. Don't loose faith.

Answer 4

I am very sorry you are experiencing such sorrow. You need to look at the good things you've done and appreciate the hard work you've put in. Have you examined all the reasons why you've been alone for ten years? Are you shy? Do you have low self-esteem? Did that translate into your business? Be compassionate with yourself and move forward, that could be going out tonight and asking a lady if you could buy her a drink or calling a friend you haven't talked to in a while......just one step outside of the chaos. I understand how you feel because I've been very very low but you can do just one small thing and you'll be amazed at how differently you feel. Take good care of your heart.

Answer 5

Let me tell you a story: We had a fish. As far as that fish was concerned, I was his be all and end all. For no apparent reason he would be periodically removed from his home and placed in a cup, then returned to his home. (When I cleaned hi bowl.) Everyday food mysteriously rained don upon him as manna from Heaven. Then, one day the food stopped. (First, I forgot to feed him for a few days, then later we ran out [so I thought] and I kept forgetting to go to the store to buy more). For weeks there was no food. Had God forsaken him? No, God was just lazy and forgetful. Finally, I remembered to go get fish food. He died two days later. Shortly after that, I found a full package of food in the closet - it had been there the whole time if I'd taken the time to look.

These events help me think about God. Being the Creative Spirit of the Universe does not make you infallible. I don't think God "hates"anyone, it's just that sometimes he forgets to feed us. Take what you can into your own hands. Try praying just for guidance or understanding. And it never hurts to make a gratitude list!

Answer 6

Take responsibility for your own life already.

No matter what your religious belief, there is no excuse for leaving your life entirely in the hands of another... be they another person or some unknowable "higher" entity.

And if you can't change your life to something better (assuming you have tried different routes), then the alternative is to change your outlook to better appreciate the way your life already is.
I'm dead serious here.

If you're cursed and condemned to be in wreck and ruin then learn to take pleasure in your own misfortune. Your own state of mind is yours to control if you only exert the will to master it.

If you are afraid to kill yourself, it only means that subconsciously you still want to achieve something with your life. Perhaps you should focus on identifying just what that is and working toward it...... and don't forget that you have nothing to lose.... for every scenario you might fall into is as capable of being an oppurtunity as a problem.

Worry not though... no matter how bad your life may be, know that time itself is ultimately transient, insubstantial and irrelevant.... and the Nihil will take you into its painless embrace eventually.

Rest in peace....

Answer 7

I know that God does not hate you. How can I say this? I'm a Hindu. I believe in Karma, and Reincarnation. It might not be acts that you did in this life. It could be from past lives. In the future, when you work out your karmas, life will be better. It might even be in your next life. I believe that you should search for God. Maybe He will reveal to you, why you're sufering; and what can be done about it. It might be another path beside Hinduism. Please, don't give up. Keep searching. Wen you do find happiness and meaning to life, it will have been worth it. I really hope you do. I don't like to see you; or any one suffer. I also hope you find it very soon.

Answer 8

First God is love the bible sais it many times have you read the book of Job it only applies in one way. God does not cause problems but will alow them if He knows you can handle the. The most wrong interpreted verse in the Bible is God wont give you more than you can handle but it realy sais not more than we can handel by calling on His name. The first thing is to ask forgiveness things may never go right in your life Cristian or not, the point is to strive for the goal this life dies its the after life that matters

Answer 9

God doesn't hate man, you may be going through some really rough times, and I think the answer lies in the book Job. Job had it really bad. His wife and kids died, along with his cattle and such, his house burned down and he got some disease. Try reading the book of Job chapter 29 through chapter 42. It might help. to find out what happened. And keep on praying dude. But not just for yourself. try PACT
Praise-God is truely amazing, he made everything
Ask-talk to God about things you'de like him to improve in your life. Asking God for a million dollars, a huge house and good looks, isn't good. And if he answers with a no to anything, keep asking, because it may not be a no, he could just be waiting for the right time.
Confess-Talk to God about things in your life that you'de like forgiveness for, something you've done that's not so great.
Thank-Thank God for the blessings in your life, even if it
s something little like tomatoes on your salad, or something big, like, life, see, the fact that you're alive means God wants it that way.

One more thing, ask others to pray for you, I will.

Answer 10

Maybe you should do something yourself, stop sitting on your computer and mope around. DO SOMETHING! Why does everyone have to do things for you... why would some women want to be with a depressed man who doesn't fix his life himself. AHH! Stop blaming everything on God, its your fault you are this way, if all you do is pray, then you aren't doing it right, you don't have the right intent, and you need to do other things as well. Seek a financial counselor, and some personal counseling, ask God for help to do these things, but don't expect a quick answer for everything when you are sitting on your couch probably watching t.v.