How do I get my 2 1/2 year old to behave in public?

Question

I know there are "terrible twos" but this is ridiculous. My two year old does not behave at all in public. He won't stay by me when we are in stores. He runs away all the time. He jumps up and down on the pews in church. It is really quite frustrating and not to mention embarrassing. By the end of the day we are exhausted. Him from causing a commotion and me from chasing him. I seriously am considering not taking him anywhere until he is older.

Answer 1

There are several things at play here.

The first thing is you have to begin by setting a behavioral standard in your home. For example, at his age, if you allow him to get away with jumping on the furniture at home then you can't expect him to understand that he's not supposed to do so in church.

The second thing is the reinforce the behavoiral expectations before you head out into public. At his age, he can understand and follow basic, simple rules but remember to be specific. Don't just say, "I expect you to behave", that means nothing to a two year old. Give him clear directions that he can understand. Tell him "When we go into church you are to sit in the pew and not jump up and down." Then, tell him what the consequence will be if he fails to follow through with what's expected of him "if you don't sit nicely, mommy will put you in the naughty corner." Of course, that means you will have to follow through. Sit in the back of the church so you can leave quietly if he gets out of hand (because he will, especially at first, be testing your boundaries) or don't be afraid to leave the store in the middle of shopping. It's frustrating but it will be worth it.

The third thing is to remember his limitations and work within them. He's only two years old and will be easily bored by many adult activities so don't expect him to sit still for an extended period of time without some distraction and, even with distraction, remember his threshold is much lower than yours.

When you go to church, out to eat, etc. take a 'kid-kit' bag with you filled with quiet toys, coloring books & crayons, kid friendly snacks like Cheerios, etc. Have him help pack it so that he feels important and involved and don't let him use it any other time then on outings.

If he won't stay by you in the store, put him in the cart and give him a "shopping list" with pictures of food items that you need and let him mark them off when you shop. If it's a retail store without carts, consider buying a tethered backpack. It's a backpack like this

http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=4532497

That is cute, allows you the piece of mind knowing that your little one can't get too far away while still allowing him the illusion of having some freedom to wander.

Answer 2

I have a 22 month old son who is a very good child. As a single mom, I have spent much more time with him than some other moms are probably able to do.

When we are at home, he as acted up while trying to test his independence. Sometimes as we are leaving a room, he will plant his feet and not budge, though he knows I am in a hurry to leave for work, etc. So, I give him a few opportunities to come, and then I just say, "OK, Bye Bye" and I leave him. Sometimes I have even closed the door behind me. I love my son dearly and do not believe in hitting him or forceful discipline, but I do believe in letting him know who is boss. After about 30 seconds, he comes running while calling "Mommy". He doesn't do it again for a while anyway.

In stores he has occasionally acted up. There have been times that I just leave. No matter how important (and believe me it is hard since being single doesn't leave a 2nd option to run to the store for me), yet, I let him know his bad behavious won't be tolerated. I also say "look at mommy" when I sternly talk to him so that he looks me right in the eyes. When he does finally do that which I ask of him, I hug him really tight and tell him thank you. He is also now learning to say "sorry, thank you, and please".

They are young and testing thier power. As much as I don't want to diminish this stage for him, I also need to let him know now that it is not acceptable to act out in those ways. We are learning now about inside voices and being "nice" instead of "naughty".

Lastly, he loves "Bob the builder" and we will spend time cuddling and watching it on TV together. I tell him what a good boy he was that day and thank him for helping mommy. We hug and he knows he is loved.

It's hard sometimes because it hurts me to see him upset and to make him cry, but it passes quickly and ultimately he is becoming a kind, respectful, and helpful child to everyone.

Answer 3

I don't believe in "beating" children. You do have to be vigilant though. Don't bend the rules. If it's time to pick up your toys, then that's it. He is old enough to do that. I told my son that if he didn't pick up his toys, then they will be givin to another little boy who deserved them. My don decided to not listen and I had someone come and pick them up and take them away. You can't just take them away and then give them back later. That just doesn't work. I know you didn't say you're having a problem withhim picking up his toys, but 1, it starts at home, and 2, it's the same concept. If hi's jumping on the pews and you tell him to get down or you're leaving and he's going to his room, then you need to foolow through with that. Take him out by his arm, put him in the car, don't talk to him, don't tell him how disappointed you are in him, put him in his room or the corner and leave him there for 3 minutes. Then tell him how upset he made you and that he wasn't a good boy. Simple but very hard to do, believe me, I know.

Answer 4

Okay I had a couple of these problems-sounds like you have just kinda let it slide sometimes now he does it all the time- or atleast that is what I found my problem to be-instead of not taking him anywhere, when you do go somewhere be prepared-find a spot u can go to make him cool it until he can listen and behave, if you just keep doing this he won't get any fun out of driving you crazy anymore. U just have to do the same thing over and over until they understand.

Answer 5

I feel your pain. I have a two year old boy myself and sometimes he's enough to drive me nuts. I went to our local Borders book store and looked up some books on dicipline. I found a great one. It's called 1,2,3 magic! I can't remember the author. basically you start counting when they're doing something you want them to stop and they've already given you the 2 year old version of the middle finger. count to 1 with 15 seconds in between before you count to 2 (15 seconds) and then 3. once you get to three it's time out. no yelling, no emotion just goodbye gracie for 1 minute of their age, so you'd have 2 minutes of relative piece. he'll scream like he's possessed but I'll tell you what, the second time I started counting that boy snapped to attention and stopped doing what it was I wanted him to stop. I fell into a trap where I was giving him too many chances and he wasn't taking me seriously anymore. it's hard when you're out but if you start it at home, he'll know there's consequences when you start counting in public. it sounds corny but it really works. check out some books, I'm sure you'll find something that works for you. good luck, I really hope you find something that'll do the trick.

Answer 6

Okay here's a simple one, he's doing it because he can get away with it.

Next time it happens at a store, leave the store, just take him by the arm and say we're leaving, get out and in the car and go home. That's the end of his fun. He'll learn fast! Plus there's no spanking or anything. It just stops the bad behaviour.

Even if you have a full cart, just get out and leave, tell someone who works at the store that you left a cart behind and be on your way.

I think I saw this on Dr Phil actually, or a nanny show. Try it, it makes perfect sense.

Answer 7

My daughter was the same way for awhile. She turned two feb.27. She still does it a little but, I started putting her i time out for two min when she does something wrong and it's worked wonders. At first she'd try to get up but, I would set her on the time out chair and keep her there. Now she acts soooo much better. Doesn't even try to leap out of the shopping cart anymore.

Answer 8

from the actuality that that's inflicting disagreements between you and your husband, and you experience that your husband replaced into incorrect.. you the two could desire to have a extreme dialogue and set sparkling and concise regulations/barriers for dealing along with your son's undesirable behaviour. as you will discover from all the different solutions right here.. and it rather is needless to say no longer what you had to take heed to.. the perfect ingredient to do might weren't supply in to his tantrum. no rely how plenty he screams and cries.. you merely could desire to forget approximately him. finally he turns into uninterested in crying and spot that it is not working, and he will quit. enable him cry all he needs, forget approximately different ppl giving grimy stares, save your cool and don't seem at him jointly as he's throwing his tantrum. you may desire to have him in his pusher or interior the procuring cart so he can no longer run around.

Answer 9

dont worry my little sister is 3 and a half. she also didnt behave when she was younger. in fact, sometimes she still misbehaves. for example, i was in a store with her and i was holding her hand. she pulled away from me and ran away. i turned around to grab her and she was gone i was looking for her for like 15 min. after that i got really aggravated and announced that i was leaving w/o her and she came. when asked where she was she said she was hiding in the clothes. thats one way to get your son to behave and the other way is to bribe. that way almost always works with my sis. just have some candy or a cookie or something in your purse with you and bribe him.

Answer 10

When my daughter acts like this in public, I just pick her up and leave. She loves going to the grocery store and pushing around one of those kid carts, and as soon as she starts acting up I tell her to be good or we are leaving. If she continues I just pick her up and walk out, even if I need groceries I will leave, she cries and says "i'll be good" so she is learning.