I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years yesterday and im devestated...technically it was a neutral desicion but ive told him I have deep regrets in agreeing to the break up...
the reasons we agreed to spilt were because things just wernt the same as the used to be, and perhaps time apart will make us appreciate one another more.
however I feel so down and lost without him, I miss him so damn much. I love him and need him...I told him this, but he said we need time apart. I feel rejected and unloved
how can I get him back?
2007-03-12 08:29:35 · 9 answers · asked by moomoo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My ex boyfriend and i were dating 3 years when we seperated. I was so depressed and lost and i cried all the time and i am always smiling, but it was the one time in my life where i didn't smile. Most people may tell you to get over it, but honestly i don't think you ever get over that mess. they say it takes like half the time to get over it for the time you were with them. so it should take like a year and a half. i dated right after and everything and it still took me like 5 years. Now that i am olde r though, i hav eto say, i am very glad that we broke up, because i am truly blessed with a great husband, that i actually was friends with when i was dating my ex. so i dated my husband for like 7 years before we got married. lol anyway, i know you are depressed, but the only thing you can do is be depressed, and know that if you guys never get back together you can think of that experience as a learning lesson where in the future you can possible help another person with the knowledge you have gained, and empathize with them because you can. Alot of people never even find one person to love, so you're lucky, but also that i know right now it seems like noone else will ever love you that way or know you that way again. In time there will be another guy, that may even last longer than this one. Also think to yourself that you are someone important and special too, and your feelings should count for something. so while he is feeling his oats, and having fun with someone else, try to pick up the pieces, or just be depressed for a while, and then get it together, knowing that if he ever came back, you are stronger now and worth so much more. So don't settle for him just because HE is ready. keep in mind how he made you feel because we always forget. I'm not saying you can't hook up, just keep in mind maybe that one last time you hook up, that it is a hook up, and not a keeper. Try to think like a guy. On the other hand, if you want to disregard what i have said, you can get him back by moving on, which is very hard to do or act like. ignore him and find another guy to occupy your affection and if he really wants you he'll be back.
2007-03-12 09:01:30 · answer #1 · answered by Lovely 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for you. I'm kind of feeling down too. my gf and I were living together and decided that it might be better for us to go back to living seperately. Even though we have not broken up and still love each other the feelings of doom and rejection are there for both of us. And this is love.
3 years, and things just weren't the same you say? Sure absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it doesn't fix detrimental problems. In relationships we have to solve the little problems, compromise on decisions and be able to agree on the bigger ones. After 3 years it seems as though you would have developed the skills to overcome any problem or decision that you could face.
Spend time with your friends, lots of time. Watch TV, get some books. This is a healing time for you, don't spend it stressed out. Be your own person your future mate will love you for it.
God bless you
2007-03-12 16:02:16 · answer #2 · answered by Wes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you mutually agreed to break up you need to mutually get back together. Usually in a break-up case -- I would say " never go back, unless the things that were broken are now fixed". Because if they are not fixed all that you will be doing is stepping back in time. You only miss him, because of all the knuckle heads that you are dealing with are worthless or you just have not been dealing with the opposite sex at all. before you try to revisit the past -- take a gander at the future and see what you can make happen. Remember: You are woman (hear me roar) do your thing girl have some fun, keep moving forward -- no need to look back. besides three years is a long time -- and if he is not taking the bait -- it's because he already has his mouth full. NEXT
2007-03-12 15:43:20 · answer #3 · answered by Quest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get yourself in a better place!!! I understand how you feel,trust me on this one.....Been married twice.Once for trying to do the right thing and the other for love. If this guy really loves ,you he'll be back.Work on getting yourself into areas that will make you happy.
Good luck and hope things workout.
2007-03-12 15:36:07 · answer #4 · answered by Jim J 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you need the time! give yourself a chance to build a life without him so that you don't get so depressed if he's not there. distract yourself and go out with friends or find an activity you like to do! don't let him be the factor in determining how you feel
2007-03-12 15:33:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its gonna get easier with time. Keep yourself busy. Go out with friends and make new one's as well. its not healthy to be alone. Give it some time. if you're meant to be than this time will prove it . Give him a chance to realize what he has. good luck :)
2007-03-12 15:37:22 · answer #6 · answered by jen.v 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
either tell him NOW. or wait and tell him. I know that if (/when) my bf and i break up, I'm going to try like a motherscratcher forever, if i have to, just to get him back. dont give up. and if you have to give up, hopefully by that time it will be easier to cope with....good luck sweetie, i think it will all work out!
2007-03-12 15:34:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
try to stay busy find a hobby or get a 2nd job it will help keep your mind busy if it was meant to b he will come back now that u expressed how u feel now its on him. good luck
2007-03-12 15:33:59 · answer #8 · answered by paultoledo34 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get your fishing rod out ....Their are a lot more fish in the sea
2007-03-12 15:34:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋