People at work make fun of me?

Question

Ive been at my job for 7 years now. i just moved to a new location. Its a whole different ball game there. Its unprofessional and theres 1 manager to 100 people. The people there are my so called "friends" but I guess because of my appearence they steriotype me. I dress nice and keep myself up. They choose to dress down and that FINE. They tell me im ditzy and that im rich snobby white girl. And I talk like a valley girl. I guess cause im come in with a smile and & very nice. They say im too nice to people & i need to start being rude & sticking up for myself (they are the ones who are being mean). Well, they are rude to EVERYONE. I love everyone & i see these people out of work cause they are supposed to be my friends but their words hurt me. When i try to tell them that it does, they tell me 2 get over it. I think im just gonna stop talking to people altoghter. What else should i do? I mean, i thought we were all adults. i dont want to tell on them cause ill feel like im being mean.

I am always there for them in & out of work.

Answer 1

I totally relate to your problem. Some years ago, I made transition from a job that required a bubbly, energetic personality and courteous, customer friendly attitude to a job in which I sat in a cubicle processing casework. I had very little interaction with the public. Every morning I went to work with a smile, saying my cheerful "Good morning," to my co-workers. That attitude came to me naturally, however, people in my office were responding to me as If I were flaky because I was always so upbeat (not overbearing). No one knew the extent of my ability or intelligence. All they knew was this smiling happy looking person and they hated me for that. My "Good morning" would be met by rolling eyes and a response of "What's so good about it?" That was the prevailing attitude I had to deal with every day.

Being nice or friendly does not come easily to some people even if they are paid to be, and they hate those of us who are able to rise above life's problems and still maintain a positive attitude. It took a while for me to understand that I was being misjudged because some people equate a chipper personality with flakiness, stupidity, so I decided to revamp my image. I saved my best smiles for only those who deserved it and I toned down my chipper "Good morning." In company meetings, instead of fading into the woodwork, I was helpful and professional. I made notes on topics to be discussed and I spoke up not to show off or waste time, but in a manner, that made both my co-workers and managers see that there was more to me than a "dizzy" smile. I made sure that the quality of my work could not be questioned. I dressed carefully, so that I looked "at home" in the environment (not under or overdressed).

I did not completely alter my personality, but I did not smile as much as I did before and I took on a more serious demeanor. More than anything else, I learned to have a spine and I spoke up for myself and showed the demons that I was not going to allow them to stomp me to the ground. I stopped allowing them to dump their work on me or speak to me disrespectfully. You cannot change people's personalities if they are mean by nature, but you can work on yourself. Do not make yourself foreign in your workplace. If it becomes unbearable, and you cannot cope, then maybe you should research other job options. Life's to short to remain miserable for so many hours a day. Above all that, be true to yourself and continue to be nice...to those who deserve your
generosity of spirit. All this will come to pass!!!

Answer 2

Are those people majority black that you work with?

Don't you think its just a little bit odd that they are denigrating your race?
Seriously... Doesn't that raise a red flag in your mind?

I mean, they call you a, "ditzy, snobby, rich, white girl," right?

Doesn't that set off an alarm for you?
Think hard about that.

I know you say you like to be nice and friendly, which I KNOW you are, but don't be arbitrary with it!

Kindness is deserved, if they provoke you, then why should you give them something better than that? That is how they can take advantage of you.

For example:
They will treat you like **** by saying those things, and yet YOU THINK if you are nicer to them, they will lay off of you. It doesn't work that way, they are getting you under their thumb.

That's how people take advantage of others, they tear you down, so you can become their little ***** sort of speak...and all the while you are bending over backwards for them so that they can stop it.
What's wrong with this picture?
I hate people like that personally. I've realized and accepted that is how ALOT of people are in this world. The best thing you can do is try to avoid them entirely. Even if that means quitting your job. I have done that actually.
Quitting a job is not as big as you make it out to be. I would go the extra mile and tell the management what's wrong with your co-workers, and that's why you are leaving.
I mean, its just... a job. Its not the end of the world. : )

I also saw, that they said to you, that you need to stick-up for yourself. Right?

They probably see you as a push-over. Wait, they DO see you as a push-over. It doesn't make any sense because you say that THEY are being mean, but that's the contradiction in this case.

They say you are a push-over, yet YOU are the one being nice and doing all the Good Things while they are not. What the **** is that? Think about it.... its hypocritical on their part. Their actions are hypocritical.
DONT SACRAFICE YOUR MORALS JUST TO FIT IN!!!
**** them! Who they hell do they think they are?

Say that to yourself: 'Who the hell do they think they are?'

Please, please, please, don't sacrifice you conscience and morals for these people! This comes from my experience. Please, please don't! I beg you.

Plus, you wont be as stressed out, once you accept them for what-they-are.

You must see them for what they are, not what you WANT them to be.

I don't know what Lori S's bullshit answer was, that doesn't make any sense. She's blaming you for doing good things? How illogically asinine is that?

If they are making fun of your race, then you need to either leave or say something about it. I have the feeling that if you were to say anything, they are not going to take action against them because you are white.
So if you feel you cant get them to stop, you just need to leave, and let the manager know in a letter.

There are other jobs out there, don't worry. I feel confident you'll do get and be respectable and professional.

Sincerely yours, a friend.

Answer 3

They aren't your friends. If they were, they wouldn't hurt you. It's time to seperate work from play. Put up with them at work if you have to. Leave them in the office at quitting time.

Don't waste your free time on losers. Use one of your hobies to make new friends or take a class or join a gym. There are many nice people looking to hang out with other nice people.

Dump your bagage at the door Ava!

Answer 4

Stop being there for them in and out of work. These people are not your friends. Real friends take you as you are and they respect you. These people do not respect you and do not deserve for you to be nice to them like you are. I am not saying be mean to them but there is no need for you to go out of your way for them. Stay away as much as possible, they will either like you for you or they won't the choice will be theres to make.

Answer 5

Co-workers are not your friends - they are acquaintances. You may have some friends from work - those would be people that you like and who like you - people who don't put you down and accept you for who you are. Your co-worker gave you good advice - Get over it. You don your job the way you want to do your job - don't take remarks personally. Do you think they spend an ounce of time thinking about this outside the job? No, they don't.

If you're worried about your job performance, speak to your supervisor. Ask for constructive criticism.

Answer 6

Goodness! If we have to change who we are with every environment, why, we would have to do it 10 times a day. Don't you fret about people who don't approve of your appearance, your manners, or your work ethic. You have those things about you for a reason, don't you? It sounds as if you have transferred into a lesser class of people, that is all. As long as you don't hold yourself to be personally superior to anyone else, they will come to accept you just as you are. And if they don't, well, it's no loss to you.

Answer 7

well u can be my friend then cuz I can admit that I need to work on my people skillz when it comes to being nice. What I am really trying to say is that maybe u r being too nice to people, that's what happened to me. I was alwayz too nice to people and then one day all of my feelingz really came out and now I gotta figure out how to be nice to people that had nothing to do with the otherz that did do me wrong when I was nice. Maybe I can teach you how to be a lil' stronger with your "sticking up for yourself skillz" and you can teach me how to be a lil' nicer to otherz even when I am mad and P.M.S. ing and maybe it would help us both

Answer 8

As long as you still are standing up for yourself and have a backbone when confronted, don't worry about it. Get a new job if its that bad, or let time straighten things out.

Answer 9

Let me guess . . . You live in New Jersey . . .

If those are the kind of people your employer hired, you're just going to have to find a way to deal with them.

Keep it on a business level with them, continue to be yourself, continue to be nice, continue to dress well.

Don't let them change you, you know what's right.

Be yourself.
.

Answer 10

You could hire a ninja to come in and whoop some @ss for you to get people in line.