My fiance and I eloped this weekend. We haven't told our families yet, and really hadn't planned on it. We know how much it means to them to see us go through the ceremony. This wedding was just our promise to each other. Are we wrong to do this? .... keep in mind we do have deposits down on our venues, musicians, etc.
2007-03-12 08:07:37 · 14 answers · asked by kriskabob 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
My mother is financing the wedding.
2007-03-12 08:21:58 · update #1
No it's not wrong at all. I did the exact same thing. Just make sure no one finds out because you might hurt some people who are really close to you and love you! It's nice to think about it as a "promise" because atleast you won't have cold feet...also, just think about it in that way. Think about it as a seal of love and not as your actual marriage because when you do have your big day...you want to feel what a first time bride feels (nervous, happy, excited, emotional...etc) But to answer your question: no, you didn't do the wrong thing. Wedding planning can be a pain in the rear and as long as your guys have your seal of love....you'll know that it's real and the wedding planning isn't a waste of money. Also, you don't have to worry about him at his bachelor party..... ;) Kudos to you and remember keep it on the down low....you don't want to ruin in for other people who think your "getting married officially" and hurt their feelings. Good luck and Congratulations!
2007-03-12 08:20:52 · answer #1 · answered by Bella 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You mean "My husband and I." You obviously have yet to think of the repercussions of your actions. Honestly, I think that it was a very bad idea. Sure, a wedding can be seen as a "promise," but that was a promise you already had scheduled!
I'm torn between the two answers you've already gotten. The first gut reaction is to say that you should pretend it never happened and go through with the ceremony, but someone will find out one day, and it'll make it look like you were just having the big ceremony to get gifts.
This would be a much different situation if you and your husband were paying for your own wedding (like many people have done before you, myself included), then you can do whatever you want. However, your mom is paying for your wedding, and you're not having a wedding because you're already married. You can hide things from your guests, but your mom might catch on when you don't get a marriage license, because it would be illegal to do so.
You need to come clean with your mom and ask her what she wants to do. If she wants to pay for a non-wedding, more power to her. If not, you need to accept that.
2007-03-12 20:54:30 · answer #2 · answered by calliope320 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My question is who has paid for/put deposits on your venues? If you two have done it alone, I don't think there's anything anyone else can say. They may be upset, but they'll get over it eventually. And you could still keep the reception and show pictures of your elopement.
However, if your parents have paid for your wedding, they will have a reason to be upset. My suggestion would be to go through with the wedding as usual, but you will have to let your parents know that you've already married.
Best of luck!
2007-03-12 15:15:39 · answer #3 · answered by sapphirafire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell your family. If they find out they will be very disappointed my Uncle did this ad people felt like they were lied to.
Go ahead and have a reception. Many people have reception at home after being married;. If your mom in sits on a ceremony get a blessing done and let people know it is a blessing not an actual marriage.
2007-03-12 16:04:03 · answer #4 · answered by emmandal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have deposits down on venues, musicians etc, and your Mom is paying, I would go on with the wedding as planned. Also, you should have a church ceremony and say your vows before God and family. Go through with it, and if you told no one, mums the word. Enjoy your wedding.
2007-03-13 00:00:35 · answer #5 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I hate to be devil's advocate, but who is paying for the "real" wedding? If it's you then I am not really sure why you eloped. Why not just dump the wedding ceremoney site and have only a reception, thus saving money. If you aren't paying for it, then if I were the parent paying for it, you bet I'd be upset. In the long rung, it's spending double.
2007-03-12 15:17:07 · answer #6 · answered by Mickey 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No that's not wrong at all. It's perfectly fine. But if i were you i'd keep the part of eloping between you and your husband. It can be your own little secret that you tell the grandkids. lol You wouldn't want to hurt your family by telling them you elpoed. But go through with the ceremony, if not you might regret it later.
2007-03-12 15:51:04 · answer #7 · answered by Jessica 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Since you are already married, going through the ceremony again would be a farce. I'm sure the church would frown on it if it knew. Since your mother is paying for the whole thing, you must tell her now. It's really up to HER, what she wants to do. Since you are already married, why do you need to go through the whole thing again, except to get the gifts? That's how it seems.
2007-03-13 02:31:57 · answer #8 · answered by Pat C 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
No, you weren't wrong. I've heard of lots of people who have done this. All you need to do at the ceremony is go through the motions and enjoy your day!
2007-03-12 15:14:18 · answer #9 · answered by insomniacprincess2002 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Since you have already had the ceremony, that's it, it's over. It was what it was - congrats! It was terribly rude of you to do this to your mom and break her heart, but tell her right away so EVERYTHING can be cancelled. Don't be surprised by anyone's reactions....
2007-03-12 18:03:25 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋