My friend (which was my ex about 5 years ago) and I talk about our relationships with other people to each other. Being that our friendship is close I told him how my ex the guy I dated after him contacted me and wants us to have an open relationship. I told him this just to get his advice and he said he may just want to use me/ have me on the side. Then my friend said "why cant I keep a man?" Saying how I am breaking up and getting back together with different guys. I felt very upset and insulted because I had relationships with only 3 guys in my life including him(my friend), by the way I am 20. So very upset I said why cant u keep a gf and etc. The relationships I have are long term. I been with my ex that wants an open relationship for 3 1/2 years, and my current bf 1 year now. All I wanted was his opinion about my ex wanting an open relationship not about how many relationships I had.
2007-03-12 07:55:19 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
To billyclo, I am not a hore nor do I sleep around there are two many diseases out there. Maybe you do but I dont.
2007-03-12 08:56:17 · update #1
He probably still has feelings for you and is upset by the fact that you are talking to this other guy. He might have a harder time being just friends than you thought. Check his true feelings out a little farther before you get anymore advice from him.
2007-03-12 08:03:14 · answer #1 · answered by cutie322434 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your right, that was very insulting. Most especially since it's not at all true. My advice, chalk your friend up as an idiot and get on with your life.
And another thing, Why do you worry about what this "friend" thinks anyway? This friend is also your ex therefore he forfeited the right to comment about your life when you guys split up. Exes never make good friends in my experience because men are too immature to stay out of your business after they've become an ex. It's like they get stuck or something.
Godspeed:)
2007-03-12 08:04:54 · answer #2 · answered by cherokeemaydyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what were you wanting from him in asking his opinion? As a girl sometimes I find that I fish for a certain compliment or a glimmer of hope that maybe my ex was still interested in me. I am also 20 years old and have been in 2 major relationships with a few flings here and there. I am still friends with my ex-bf but as an ex I do not find it oppropriate, kind, or considerate to be asking them their opinions on my current relationships esp. depending on who broke the relationship off in the first place and the events surrounding the break up.
2007-03-12 08:03:56 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but I, when I was single I made it a policy to break all contact with my ex-girl friends. I also got rid of all pictures and letters before moving onto the next gf. I would expect the same from my new gf. I don't believe in having that kind of excess baggage. It only makes it rough on the next person. I don't want to hear about how their ex's did things before... nor did I want to talk about older gf(s) to my new gf.
If you stay in contact with ex's, It makes it too easy to fall-back (rebound) on the ex with the littlest argument when you should be working things out instead.
2007-03-12 08:29:06 · answer #4 · answered by Darren 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he has unresolved feelings for you and doesn't want to hear about you with someone else.
Perhaps he has unresolved feelings for another girl and it hurts to hear about such situations.
How much do you discuss it with him? Some guys just don't like talking about such issues.
Maybe he doesn't want to see you hurt and he thinks this may not work.
He could have just been having a bad day and didn't mean to come off as so insensitive.
I guess you would have to mention it to him and ask if everything is ok. (let him know you just wanted his advice because you value it and his response seemed a little mean, and if there is anything wrong?)
You could also choose to let it go this time and see what happens the next time you need his advice.
2007-03-12 08:04:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes very insulting, and you may be friends but i think you should understand that you use to be in a relationship with this person, so there must be some left over digs that he may want to get out just to mess with you. Maybe he still has slight feelings for you and it makes him feel better about himself when he says things like that. Although i am the queen of taking it personal, i would have to say that maybe you shouldn't. Ya know. What helps me through alot of things that piss me off, is when i think to myself in 25 years, i won't even be thinking about this. Don't ask, i just always think that . OH, and there is a saying like that too. " AND THIS TOO SHALL PASS." I would say it is very accurate. how bout you?
2007-03-12 08:10:48 · answer #6 · answered by Lovely 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has something hide from you that you might not know. If he insult you or mean to you, dont you see it? it means he still has a feeling for you, he wants you back. Thats why he talking like that, hes so upset that you are not give him a chance. Remember most of guys would never admit anything. YOu can try ask him the truth why he talk like this, not positive way. Good luck.
2007-03-12 08:02:01 · answer #7 · answered by MissGal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your b/f wants an open relationship, get rid of him. If he sleeps around who knows what you might get. Secondly, your ex was just telling you what he thought. He probably cares to some extent and doesn't want you to get hurt by the other guy. (Which I think will happen if you allow an open relationship). tell your ex you think it was a rude remark and see what he has to say. You do not have to defend yourself to either of them.
2007-03-12 08:12:27 · answer #8 · answered by Jodi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a passive-aggressive way to say he is jealous and doesn't want you with anyone else.
It is insulting, to you and to your friendship as well.
I'd address it with him...say hey I came to you for advice and you came back with this? What's really going on here? If he says it's not jealousy, ask what is it then? Because you hurt my feelings!
S*cks you have to read between the lines/he can't just tell you but that's the way guys are a LOT of the time.
Good luck.
2007-03-12 08:05:40 · answer #9 · answered by Maudie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's jealous to me. I would tell him that you weren't asking to be judged, but rather for advice. If he asks you again "why can't you keep a man?" Tell him it's because you have standards and refuse to settle for the first person that comes along. There are a lot of men out there who just aren't worth "keeping".
2007-03-12 08:07:38 · answer #10 · answered by ♪ ♫Jin_Jur♫ ♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋