My boyfriend's mom doesn't want me to date him cause she thinks I'm phony and she said that we argue to much. This all started when I graduated out of highschool last year and went on to college and got me a good job. Next thing I know she calls me and tell me that I can't see him anymore and its bad enough we weren't seeing eachother alot anymore cause of my hours at work and school. We did argue alot but it was because we couldn't see each other and because I was starting to feel like he was cheating on me. I tried talking to his mom but she didn't want to hear what I had to say. I'm 19 and he's 18 and we feel that we should be the one's to decide whether we want to be together or not not her. What do I do?
2007-03-12 07:55:13 · 18 answers · asked by Lil Zo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The mother's instinct is to protect her child forever. He shouldn't tell her you fight, because most likely the mother will always side with her son in most cases. Or your boyfriend should stick up for you.(If he truly cares for you.) He's 18, he can date who he pleases. If your gut tells you he is cheating, most likely he is. You are so young and have many years to find someone who will spend time with you,love you,and not cheat. I would speak to your boyfriend again about this situation, tell him you want to get along with his Mom. Then try to speak once again to his Mom. Let her know your feelings honestly and tell her you don't want her to have any bad feeling towards you. (You never know someday she might be your Mother-In -Law.) This way you handle this situation in a well mannered way. And if it works out....FANTASTIC! If it doesn't you did your best.
2007-03-12 08:20:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh my gosh i had this same problem almost down to the last point except his mom never was rude to me up front she would always stab me in the back i dated a guy for 1 1/2 years and it neve stopped till one day i realized that if it was true love then why is it so hard and if it was the right thing to do then why did we fight all the time and why did i feel like i couldn't trust him so i ended it and you know what im with someone that is so much better i know where you are at its so hard to let go but to have your boyfriends mom hate you really weighs done on you and the relationship moms have tons of power and it will eventually hit a point where you will have to decide to end it or he will have to move out and neither of you are ready for that
2007-03-12 15:04:05 · answer #2 · answered by carmelfude2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to talk to him, he's the one who has to lead with his mother, only he can control the things his mom does with you. Or you can sit the three of you together and talk how things can be resolved. But if you get into a fight where everyone start saying things and trying to prove one has better reasons than the othre, then you'll get to nothing. First she'll think in her son and what she considers the best for him.
What you have to make her think is that the relations of you 2 is serious, and has something in long term for both of you. Meanwhile she'll be thinking as she has been doing.
2007-03-12 15:03:24 · answer #3 · answered by FG 82 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The two of you are probably of different mind sets. Now that you're in college, you think differently than a highschooler. It sounds like your boyfriend is a mama's boy. His mom should not disrespect you and vice versa. If she's acting this way towards you now, then imagine how she'll treat you when the two of you were to get maried. He needs to get a back bone and ask his mom to treat you with dignity and respect.
2007-03-12 15:14:23 · answer #4 · answered by Ghanaian Princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My bf and I dated 10 years ago and his sister called and threatened me many times. She was jealous and hated me. But we went strong and now we plan to marry soon.
But you see this mother must be jealous or insecure. If you feel this guy is worth your salt then you need to visit his mom and have a good talk with her about yourself and him and you need to do this when he is not around.
Get her some thing she likes like flowers and speak to her frankly. By the way even my bf and I used to fight for hours and he used to switch his phone off and I used to do weird things when we fought. He is crazy and so was I and my dad and mom were scared to allow us to commit to one another. But we decide and here it is ten yrs later.
Please take it slow and also have a nice long talk with your guy. You both are so young and you must also consult an older person about your feelings and ideas. Dont waste the time and efforts in sacrifing everything and end up breaking up. Just be mature and decide for yourself and also see if your guy is in the loop for the same. Buye
2007-03-12 15:04:14 · answer #5 · answered by MafiaGal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, this is so ironic because this is exactly what im going through right now with my current girlfriend. my mom absolutely despises her and when im out with my friends or something shes always asking, is that girl with you? or always makes stupid jokes about her, and it is annoying and insulting. and yeah me and her dont really see each other too much or hang out a lot because my mom tries all the time to keep us apart. its hard to cope with because you really like the guy and you want things to work. and some of the stress and arguing between you and your boyfriend has got to be coming from your moms dislike in you. and i think its just the mothers fear of him getting hurt, or past relationships with bad girls, and she is trying to control the situation/relationship in reality, or atleast what i believe. and i think its very wrong for her to try and control something thats not hers.
and you said you had tried to talk to her, and she didnt want to listen to you, thats just her problem. if you are a good girl and you know it and your boyfriend does too, then his mom should see it too! just give it time, and try to let her know some more that you will be good to her son and sooner or later she should warm up to you
i wish you the best of luck! and know that you arent the only one going through this!
2007-03-12 15:15:31 · answer #6 · answered by tw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the relationship is between the two of you not the mother, But........he is her son and she is going to be protective b/c she wants the best for him. Maybe if she knew that the two of you were not arguing all the time she may grow to like you more. Stop arguing with him and try and get a long.
2007-03-12 15:00:13 · answer #7 · answered by chazzz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're both old enough, and he's not a minor anymore, so it's really none of her business now. If she continues to call you, then change your number. Just know that with some mothers, NO ONE is good enough for their little boy. Best of luck to you.
2007-03-12 15:07:39 · answer #8 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When i was dating my husband, his parents did not want me with their son either (he is Jewish, i am not.....they wanted a Jewish daughter-in-law). Anyway, I never confronted my in-laws. I felt that this was a battle my husband had to fight. I was never anything but polite and kind to his parents (even when i wasn't allowed in the house). I also never talked bad about my in-laws to my husband (even when his mom called me fat...I was a size 10!). I would advise you to be nice and polite in front of his mom. Don't fight when you are in her presence and don't get into a game of tug-of-war with her. And don't talk bad about her, it will cause you bf to get defensive about her.
2007-03-12 15:04:39 · answer #9 · answered by Kirsten 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah you should be able to decide both of you, so HE needs to step up and grab his b@ll$ and tell his mom he loves you!! Because it will never work out
2007-03-12 14:59:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋