My boyfriend is thinking about asking me to marry him. I'm happy and I love him, I think. I'm just really not sure if I'm ready for that type of commitment. How can I tell? I really don't want to make a mistake, but I don't want to hurt him either. What should i do? Any advice will be greatly appreciated.
2007-03-12 07:38:36 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Do you want to marry him eventually? or are you thinking he's not the one? If you do want to marry him eventually...but aren't ready to commit right now, then I would just go with your feelings and try to explain them to your boyfriend. But you have to be careful because he might take it the long way, but also if he proposes to you...it also doesn't mean that you have to get married tomorrow. You can take as much time as you want. Even those who ARE ready for commitment get cold feet sometimes so don't worry.
Depending on the type of communication you and your bf have..you can either tell him you are not ready and see if you guys can compromise...or tell him you will except his marriage proposal, but maybe just have a longer engagement. Remember...good communication is a big thing in order to make relationships work......goodluck!
2007-03-12 07:45:13 · answer #1 · answered by M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say how old you were, so I have to figure that your possibly 20 or under.
Just because you agree to marry doesn't mean you have to do it tomorrow. Lots of couples get engaged then work and save for down payment on a home. Or they finish school first. Commiting yourself to one another in this stage puts a whole new light on your relationship. It's a time of vital learning about one another, do not skip the steps for a happy relationship. Take the time to find out if this is the man you want to spend your life with or just a few years and some kids later find out that your not even good friends anymore. A messy divorce hurts the children as well.
2007-03-12 07:47:36 · answer #2 · answered by dizzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are NOT ready. If you are second guessing the relationship this much you are no where near ready to get married. I am not saying that you should never marry this man. I am just saying that right now it is NOT a good idea. I think that you should talk with him and tell him that you are not at the place in your relationship that you are ready for the big question. If you wait until he asks you are going to have a very awkward situation that may just end up with the two of you both hurt.
2007-03-12 07:44:17 · answer #3 · answered by Dee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, if you have to say "i think" after you say you love him, then you definately shouldn't say yes! If you can, slip it into the conversation about how happy you are with the way things are at the moment, and that you're glad things aren't moving too fast. Try to dissuade him from proposing - this will be so much kinder and easier than saying no when he asks you to marry him! People take marriage too lightly these days, but make sure when you do say yes to a proposal, you are 100% sure and have no doubts!!
Hope this helps!
2007-03-12 07:44:39 · answer #4 · answered by raspberryfluff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an age old question. I would say if you feel willing to devote your life to making a life with this man it is a good thing. If you are more then confident that he will devote his life to you this is also good. You both must be certain that this is what you truly want. It get progressively more difficult at times to maintain this committment so the few potholes you envision now the better. Really look inside and see how you truly feel. Divorce is painful and expensive. Think hard and look into your heart for the answer.
2007-03-12 07:44:36 · answer #5 · answered by Devdude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are questioning it, that is not the right thing for you to do right now. I understand that he may be hurt, but you always have do what is best for you. Meaning don't marry him only if you believe that that is what he wants. I am sorta in the same situation. I have a good man but I am not ready for marrige. Just go with your first mind and wait it out. If he truly loves you he will understand.
2007-03-12 08:03:56 · answer #6 · answered by michelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no rule as to the length of the engagement right? If I were you I"d talk to him about it, let him know that you do love him and you really are happy with him and if he wants a commitment out of you to be engaged, fine, but you aren't ready to set a date just yet. Don't rush into something that doesn't feel right, because all it causes is resentment later. If he loves you enough to want to make you his wife, he'll understand.
2007-03-12 07:47:33 · answer #7 · answered by coffee_inthe_evening 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-18 05:03:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you will know if you're ready to marry him or not! Tell him how you feel, take things slowly. IF he asks you, ask him to give you time to think it over, marriage is forever and not something little, it's a REALLY BIG STEP you will be taking from where you're at right now. Like my boyfriend tells me, TILL DEATH DO US PART!!!!... its a big thing.. Think it over, no one can tell you if you're ready or not, only you will know the answer to that question. Talk to him about it!!!.. Good luck k.
2007-03-12 07:44:27 · answer #9 · answered by cutelidogurl143 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on how long you've been with him. If he's proposing after 6 months, then you are right. But if you've been with him for like....3-4 years then you have to ask why you're even with him.
If he pops the question the best way to answer is..."I want to marry you, but not right now, I love you so much, but there's things I have to do before we go down that path."
That should do it.
2007-03-12 07:42:36 · answer #10 · answered by matthaumschild 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋